First f2f naranon meeting...
 

After much searching, I finally found a meeting relatively close to me and will be going tomorrow night. I am really excited about it but I was just curious as to what I should expect at my first meeting. I have never been to any f2f support group before so I must admit I am a little nervous as well. I know that everyone is dealing with situations similar to my own but I can't lie and say that I don't feel a little vulnerable about it even if I don't say anything at all. Any thoughts are welcomed. Thanks :)

Maybe consider it a class, like from school. Or a lecture. How about a movie? Just go and observe, take it all in :)

Each meeting is different, but mostly it's people like us sharing their strength, hope and experience...except they can see you :D

My first three meetings I couldn't say a word, I just sat there sobbing and those wonderful people understood and kept handing me tissues.

You don't have to say anything, you don't have to do anything, unless you feel comfortable and want to. So it's one of those great "show up and let life happen" experiences, and nothing to worry about.

Good luck and let us know how it goes.

Hugs

For me, my first three visits. I sat there quietly, I listened to the women, I went through the motions of thier routine and I cried. The few times I did speak, I felt I did not make any sense, like I was incapable of not forming, let alone completing a sentence. EVERYONE was supportive, loving and attentive. For the first time, in a long time, I could breathe and feel normal.

I've been a part of my Nar-Anon group for almost 2 years now, and as the others said, the first few I cried and cried and cried, they also handed me tissues and made me FEEL accepted and no longer alone in my confusion. Eventually I was able to open up and share my own thoughts and feelings. That group saved my life, gave me more hope and support than anyone else in my life.

I am in a different place right now as I have given up almost all contact with my exha, however, now I'm giving back to the newcomers who are in the place of dispair I was 2 years ago.

I have never forgotten how I started out in the group, I see a part of myself in each new person that arrives who is lost, scared and beat down by the insanity of addiction.

Keep going back!

Expect to be "understood" in a wonderful way. Be open-minded & non-judgemental. Don't feel pressured or nervous. You can be quiet if you want to just get the feel of it. I'm shy, so it was hard to me to open up to complete strangers. It's a lot different to have real people in front of you rather than a computer. In my opinion it is much more helpful to go to meetings in person.

I'm proud of you for going to your first face to face meeting! It is a step in the right direction! :c011:

Christen

when i went to naranon, i was overcome with the fact that every single person in that room truly understood what loving an addict is like. i didn't have to tell them horror stories and hope they'd not judge me, or hope they'd understand the way i wanted them to, or justify, rationalize, educate about addiction. i felt so grateful that - because i didn't want to even try and talk to my friends and family about my relationship with an addict - that i did have people i could talk to about it.

did you go?

You will identify in.....don't worry. You will share when you are ready. I was so messed up when I went in I flooded the room with tears for a couple of meetings. It is good for them to hear newcomers.....to remember where they came from. They are there because of a common bond and they are there to help you get out of the ick......The 12th step is to carry the message to you. They will not judge you. They will pass the tissues......and share their experiences, strengths, and hopes. All of them had their first meeting at some time. It is a miracle. You are drowning and are about to be thrown the lifeline. Lois Wilson story Sunday CBS.....she started the lifeline!

Unfortunately, I called the number on the site where I found the meeting listed and they are no longer having them. I did find a Coda meeting near me on Sundays (though this week I have no one to watch my son) and there are alanon meetings but I am a little unclear as to how that works. I know that the principles and experiences are similar but if its specifically related to alcohol what do you do if you want to speak but your experience has nothing to do with it? I don't know which one would be better alanon or Coda though I guess they are both very similar since both are 12 step groups. Any advice on this one? I just really want to work a program and get help. I am going to therapy, reading, and have done online Coda meetings but I feel like I need more and f2f meetings are something that I have been trying to locate and go to for a long time now. I am so bummed that the naranon meeting doesn't exist nor do any in my area : (

I'm so sorry the NarAnon group disbanded. I love mine!

I do attend AlAnon as well and have found in my AlAnon group more folks really "working" their program, more attendees and with more experience (years attending) in the group. And a handful of parents (like me) rather than spouses.

I've attended a few CoDA meetings, but haven't stuck with it - too far away, no transportation, and don't want another evening meeting now - the 2 I do are enough right now. But I did feel comfortable there as well and think in the long run it would benefit too.

I think all are accepting with common enough experiences to make it worth attending. Good luck whatever you decide to do.

By all means try the CoDA meeting AND the Al-anon meeting, you may find you like one better than the other or that you would like to go to both to fit into your schedule.

My home fellowship is CoDA, I loved our meetings in Toronto before I moved and learned so much there.

But I also went to Al-Anon and liked the meeting there as well.

All three fellowships are similar and they are about US and not our loved ones' substance (as the name may imply).

Don't give up on meetings, I promise that you will be glad you continued to explore and find the meeting that fits for you.

Hugs

I am going to try and go to something either tomorrow or within the next few days. The only person that I have available to watch my kids here and there is my mother, so it's really based on her schedule. On a different note, she keeps trying to talk me out of going to meetings and keeps telling me that there is no point in going to them. That I know what I have to do and to just keep up with therapy. I know its my choice but it's kind of frustrating that even when I explain to her that I think it would be a great help to me, she still thinks it's just some silly idea. Maybe after I start going, she will see on her own but if not, it's not about her it's about helping me. Sorry to sidetrack from my initial topic but I just had to vent about that...Thanks to everyone for their input :)