Alcohol induced personality changes?

Old 04-18-2010, 08:23 PM
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Alcohol induced personality changes?

My father is an alcoholic and drug addict who has not used anything in several years. I myself am in recovery (5 years now) and work a strong AA program. My father has some permanent brain damage from drinking, such as memory loss. However, his personality has completely changed as well. He used to be a wonderful, involved father, until he started using. Now he is mean and nasty toward me. I am 26 years old. He is not this way to others, although he is still very different than he used to be. I myself work as an addiction counselor, but I am wondering if alcoholism can cause permanent personality changes. Any ideas? Or is he just dry?
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Old 04-18-2010, 08:34 PM
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Had to post my 2 cents!

You sound like you are in great recovery and giving hope and help to others in the program and professionally.

It must be quite an effort for people dry and just abstaining to not be jealous of you, father, mother, brother...titles for people, they are still people...just chucking that out there:-)
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:04 PM
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I don't use AA. However, I do believe that most of us do have underlying issues that don't just fade away with ..."dry sobriety"; if anything, they seem to be intensified by it.

I'm by no means an expert on the lingering biochemical effects of substance/alcohol abuse, but it's my understanding that such effects, like you mentioned, are mostly cognitive. The emotional part... I guess it can be worked on?

Have you voiced your concerns to your father? Maybe it's something you could talk about with him, if the two of you are willing to.
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Old 04-18-2010, 10:04 PM
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You mentioned you work a strong program in AA.

What sort of recovery process does your father have in place?

I've been around the rooms of AA since 1986, and I have seen those who simply abstained, but with no recovery in place.

They tend to be pretty miserable people from what I've experienced.

My disease is threefold-physical, mental, and spiritual.

If I don't address all three areas, I'm not working much of a program.

Been there, done that, got that t-shirt, and it was no fun.

I drank again after 4 years, and don't care to repeat that experiment.
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Old 04-19-2010, 12:22 PM
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Thanks for the support, working as an addiction counselor it is weird to not have the answer to this one.

My father works no recovery program. He has done AA in the past and loved it. The first I ever heard about it (I was 12ish) was him raving about how wonderful it was. He stopped going YEARS ago. When I first got sober, he called daily and was so supportive of meetings. But then once I was working my program and encouraging him to work his, things turned sour. I think his discomfort with my recovery is a big piece of it, but he was SO wonderful when I was growing up. He would have killed anyone who made me feel bad. It is odd how nasty he has been the past few years. He says he wants to be closer. Doesn't treat my brother like this. He definitely has cognitive damage. I don't know, I am getting married and don't know if he should come. He just owes me so much, and for him to treat me like he does under the circumstances...it's just mind-boggling for me.

Sorry. Maybe I should go to Alanon.
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