hello
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2010
Posts: 1
hello
I found some more pills today, then found my way here.
Thank you for helping me realize there is nothing I can do to stop the addiction he doesnt think he has. I admit it isnt as bad as it could be, but it is still destroying the man I fell in love with, not to mention, our family.
At this point I dont know what to do or who to turn to. I just find myself crying every minute I am alone, which seems to be a little more everyday.
Thank you for helping me realize there is nothing I can do to stop the addiction he doesnt think he has. I admit it isnt as bad as it could be, but it is still destroying the man I fell in love with, not to mention, our family.
At this point I dont know what to do or who to turn to. I just find myself crying every minute I am alone, which seems to be a little more everyday.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Welcome to SR, needsahug, I'm glad you found us...and here's a hug because you need one 
Keep reading, stick around and others will be here to welcome you soon.
You've come to a good place where people understand your pain and who share their own experience, strength and hope with you.
What helped me most was finding meetings and learning to work and live the 12 steps of recovery.
More Hugs
Keep reading, stick around and others will be here to welcome you soon.
You've come to a good place where people understand your pain and who share their own experience, strength and hope with you.
What helped me most was finding meetings and learning to work and live the 12 steps of recovery.
More Hugs
Member
Join Date: Mar 2005
Location: Seeking Peace
Posts: 1,371
You do need a hug!
I'm so glad you reached out. This is a great place to learn and find support.
I know you probably feel pretty alone but you aren't. So many people (too many people) understand what you're going thru.
Admitting that you are powerless over the addicts choices is the first step towards recovery. Although this situation is difficult, it is possible to improve your life no matter what the addict chooses to do with his.
I hope you stick around and share your recovery journey with us. you're definitely among friends here.
I'm so glad you reached out. This is a great place to learn and find support.
I know you probably feel pretty alone but you aren't. So many people (too many people) understand what you're going thru.
Admitting that you are powerless over the addicts choices is the first step towards recovery. Although this situation is difficult, it is possible to improve your life no matter what the addict chooses to do with his.
I hope you stick around and share your recovery journey with us. you're definitely among friends here.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Welcome needsahug. I used to cry all of the time too. It took some time, but eventually I was able to get past that stage, and begin to start working in the solution, rather than the problem.
I even went to the extent of scheduling time to cry, and quickly realized that it had become a habit, rather than a need. It eventually seemed silly to waste so many tears on something I had no control over.
I hope you stick around, and read around.
You are not alone
Mega (((Hugs))) because you asked
I even went to the extent of scheduling time to cry, and quickly realized that it had become a habit, rather than a need. It eventually seemed silly to waste so many tears on something I had no control over.
I hope you stick around, and read around.
You are not alone
Mega (((Hugs))) because you asked
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
It is hard if they do not want help. I had to let my XAH go. He was into alcohol, pills and pot and methodone... . and who knows what else.....It is hard to have a relationship with someone you don't trust. I tried to hang in there but it started really effectng my health. My therapist suggested I give him an ultimatum....90 meetings in 90 days or I would divorce him. He didn't do t. I am much bettter now living in the solution and not the problem. I did what I could do for years. He wasn't ready. I now realize I missed the potential of who he was.....not who he was. Had to give him to God.
work in progress
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
Welcome needsahug....my xah is an opiate addict too....I can't say that I don't know what you are feeling, and I am sorry you find yourself here.....on the other hand, I am very happy to see you found SR.
I was literally at the end of my rope last July when after 10 years of being with Mr.Sofa..."we" were on relapse 8,673!!!! I just couldn't take it anymore...and I felt a true nervous breakdown coming on...I was stuck in the fetal position on my bed....sunk....crying...dying. I had hit my emotional bottom. I needed to help myself in a bad way, or I was going to lose it for real. I have had a few breakdowns in my life, and I knew one was coming....it was an emergency!
Then I remembered this site I found while I was looking for help for Him. So I came here...and read and read and read......and didn't post for awhile. This place literally saved Me....and I saved Me by listening, just as you are today.
I realized that the depression I was having was a byproduct of not being able to control the situation....control the addict, and the defeat eventually consumed me.
I had to get myself back....but in a way that I never knew before. This wasn't the first chaotic relationship i had ever been in...and unless I changed myself, it wouldn't be the last. I am not a victim, I am the creator of my own chaos. I had to change...for Me.
You are not alone, we all understand your pain....but things will change for you when you are really ready to have a different life. We are all here with you and will help you as you work through this.
You reached out....and that's a good thing.
I was literally at the end of my rope last July when after 10 years of being with Mr.Sofa..."we" were on relapse 8,673!!!! I just couldn't take it anymore...and I felt a true nervous breakdown coming on...I was stuck in the fetal position on my bed....sunk....crying...dying. I had hit my emotional bottom. I needed to help myself in a bad way, or I was going to lose it for real. I have had a few breakdowns in my life, and I knew one was coming....it was an emergency!
Then I remembered this site I found while I was looking for help for Him. So I came here...and read and read and read......and didn't post for awhile. This place literally saved Me....and I saved Me by listening, just as you are today.
I realized that the depression I was having was a byproduct of not being able to control the situation....control the addict, and the defeat eventually consumed me.
I had to get myself back....but in a way that I never knew before. This wasn't the first chaotic relationship i had ever been in...and unless I changed myself, it wouldn't be the last. I am not a victim, I am the creator of my own chaos. I had to change...for Me.
You are not alone, we all understand your pain....but things will change for you when you are really ready to have a different life. We are all here with you and will help you as you work through this.
You reached out....and that's a good thing.
Restoring myself to sanity
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Georgia
Posts: 1,018
(((welcome)))
You are in the right place.. I found SR about 3 years ago when I was at the end of my rope as well.. These wonderful people on here have helped me so much to be true to myself and to let go of my AH.
Remember it is all about you now : )
You are in the right place.. I found SR about 3 years ago when I was at the end of my rope as well.. These wonderful people on here have helped me so much to be true to myself and to let go of my AH.
Remember it is all about you now : )
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Oh, Needsahug,
I once cried every single day for a solid month. I never didn't have my abf (addict boyfriend) on my mind - even when just coming into conciousness in the morning. It was completely consuming, and exhausting. I have been divorced, molested, abused by my stepmother and discovered I have an alcoholic precious daughter. But, when he was using, it was hands down the most painful three months of my life.
There can be many positive things that come out of this period you are in. There can be some negatives as well. I am not a fortune teller, but I think it gets worse before (and if ever) it gets better. The positive is, that you are stepping over a threshhold. Through a door and into a new way of thinking - a new life! Many of us are actually grateful that we were brought into this new way by having, or being, an addict.
We are here for you.
I once cried every single day for a solid month. I never didn't have my abf (addict boyfriend) on my mind - even when just coming into conciousness in the morning. It was completely consuming, and exhausting. I have been divorced, molested, abused by my stepmother and discovered I have an alcoholic precious daughter. But, when he was using, it was hands down the most painful three months of my life.
There can be many positive things that come out of this period you are in. There can be some negatives as well. I am not a fortune teller, but I think it gets worse before (and if ever) it gets better. The positive is, that you are stepping over a threshhold. Through a door and into a new way of thinking - a new life! Many of us are actually grateful that we were brought into this new way by having, or being, an addict.
We are here for you.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 545
Originally Posted by coffeedrinker 
Oh, NeedsahugMany of us are actually grateful that we were brought into this new way by having, or being, an addict.
We are here for you.
We are here for you.
Needsahug... I concur with coffeedrinker... I too was brought to this new way of thinking via my exAH... and that is the ONE positive thing I still swear by.
I have been told a few times in my life that I had codie tendencies... I swept that knowledge under the rug... it took me marrying my alcoholic to fully comprehend the depths of codie devastation.
I found a faith-based therapist and went when I could afford him... he pushed me in the right direction... and SR family took my other hand and hasn't dropped it yet.
I promise you that the darkness you are in WILL cease... and your path in life WILL have a whole new light... for me... it has been hard as heck... but I relish my new found light... the new light that I probably would not have found if not for the experience with exAH.
I am eternally grateful to the SR family... thru their guidance, experience and love I'm well on my way down a new path.
Take care of you... keep coming back... this is a wonderful place... stay as long as you need to.... post when you need to.... read when you need to.... cry when you need to... and before you realize it... your life WILL take on a whole new meaning.... you WILL embrace it and enjoy it.
Take care of YOU.
((hugs))
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Ohio
Posts: 267
welcome to sr. lots of support an experience to share here. my ah is also an opiate addict who doesnt want to admit to... he wont even admit to taking them most of the time (lol) so i can really empathize with you there. this is site is great for us but you should also check into local nar anon or al anon for some face to face support.
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