katie53

. my ad is now in jail waiting to be sent 150 mi. away to a womens prison rehab for 3-4 months. If her probation would have been revoked it would have been 5 yrs. I am so tired of this, especially because of her 15 yr. old daughter. AD has not been around much in the last 5 months to visit, but now that she's being sent away she want us to visit her. I will do it for gd if that is what she wants. I would like to write ad a letter but I when ever I start it, my anger takes over. Does anyone have any suggestions for me? This is her 2nd time in a 3 month rehab in the last 2 yrs. The last time she was conversing with her crackhead boyfriend the whole time!! she told me "I'm actually excited about going" It's better than sitting in jail because in prison I can get outside" I had asked her many times to go to meetings and to meet people who were trying to battle addiction, but she wasn't interested. She said "I can do it on my own" As we know it didn't work. Now that she is court ordered I have doubts that it will end. So, I'm tired

Freedom1990

It appears to me that your AD is very toxic to the GD. The ways she manipulates her emotionally makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

I know for me, as a parent, I have had to make decisions that were very unpopular with my daughters, but made in their best interest.

15 years old is still not grown up.

katie53

Yes i agree. She is like her daughter bff rather than a mom. She was a "mom" the first 9 yrs of her life but that ended with crack. Now when they are together it's as if she ralates to her daughter as her best friend. She truely believes they have a close bond. That may be, but it is not a mother-daughter bond! Gd feels she can tell mom everything and mom confides all her doings to her daughter. Such as how her boyfriend beats her, messes around ,all the crap she did as a teen. As the years have gone by and gd is now 15 she does mention the lying to me and how mom always has to have a man in her life. A few months ago she wrote mom with alot of questions about her choices. Mom did not respond until 5 days later when she called her daughter and was asked about it. She THEN said she cried as she read the letter. Maybe, I'm hoping that this rehab will turn that a round and she will learn to grow up and maybe be able to return to what and who she was 6 yrs ago. Is it possible??

Chino

My 22 year old RAD is becoming who she really is, not the person she was because it's impossible to go back. I don't even think it's a good idea. That's how they got to that awful place.

I have every hope and belief that they can become better than who they were, if they work some kind of recovery one day at a time. I see it in my recovering stepmother. She's a better person today and it takes what it takes.

86753091

Katie,

I hope for your sake and for her daughter's sake that she is ready this time and that the rehab has a profound effect on her. But just because you and I are afraid of the consequences of our AD's actions does not mean that they are afraid enough to get sober.

Just keep doing what you can with what's in front of you. If God gave you an impressionable 15 year old girl, it may be your opportunity to point out to her the differences in a life filled with drug addiction and the beauty of a life lived without drugs.

CB