How things are going

Old 04-11-2010, 11:54 AM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Posts: 63
How things are going

Well, here's where I'm at-

my... addict in my life relapsed 2 months after getting out of a 4 month rehab program. Because of that he went back into rehab, was going to stay a while but then after a few days went into the work study program there. He stayed there while looking for a job, he found two. One working for a pool company (he's a pool boy) and another for Sam Seltzers restuarant. He's worked the past couple days with the pool company, says he doesn't like it though because of the way the guy runs it. It's not as good a company as he worked for before, and he starts the restaurant tomorrow. So that sounds good. Now he's moved out of Salvation Army and is in a halfway house. I mean, I guess it's one- there aren't any rules except no drugs and be in by midnight. No drug tests or anything, he was going to a different one at first but I think there were too many rules for him so he went to the one he's at now.

He didn't like that at the other one he couldn't drink. He's allowed to drink at this place. I don't understand why he wants to be able to drink in his life. I mean, he's a substance abuser and he says some people says its ok for him to drink, it's not the same and he's in control of drinking. I don't know, I don't like it that he drinks.

He did all of this in 3 weeks, and I don't know all the details. I've asked questions but I don't know if I can trust his answers. I'm getting tired of all this, I think my heart is finally hardening enough for me to say hey- I'm falling out of love with you, I love you as a person but this is ridiculous, I don't need all this. And really I don't feel like I can trust him, and there's no way we can have a relationship if there's no trust.

Just rambling, everything seems fishy to me about his situation and it's so early. Now that he's going to get a pay check it'll be the test to see what happens.
Soleus is offline  
Old 04-11-2010, 04:44 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Ann
Nature Girl
 
Ann's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Soleus, I pray he is different from others, but most addicts I know "think" they can drink and find out very quickly they cannot. And most alcoholics I know, at some point think they can smoke pot, and most find out quickly that they cannot.

Now, I say this with love in my heart, but sweetie, whatever he is doing, good or bad should not take up all your life and thoughts. If you read your post again, I think you'll agree...it's ALL about him. What test? He has indicated he will drink and therefore remain as he is.

What about you?

Have you gone to any meetings or begun working on your own recovery?

Have you taken time to decide what is and what is not acceptable in your life and then set boundaries to protect yourself?

Have you thought ahead a year? 2 years? 5 years? and thought about your dreams and where you would like to be at that time? Because, I can tell you the years pass quickly and you could end up like me and look back and see how many years you have wasted.

Like I said, I am saying this as kindly as I can and only because I care enough about you to hope you don't have to go through what I went through.

Hugs
Ann is offline  
Old 04-11-2010, 05:39 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
coffeedrinker's Avatar
 
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
soleus,

not much to add except "ditto" to what ann said.

if only we knew, when we get that bad taste in our mouth (or stomach) that it really IS telling us something, we wouldn't talk ourselves out of that feeling so often.

my addict has always had a hard time with "too many rules" and even when he has seen that his lack of surrender causes problems down the road, his default position is to rebel against the rules. it's like some people are hard-wired for this, and i'm talking addicted people, cuz that's what we're talking about here. it will sound like i'm making a snap judgement about someone i don't even know, if i tell you exactly what i think.

please keep coming back here.
coffeedrinker is offline  
Old 04-13-2010, 07:54 AM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Member
 
freefalling's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: South Africa
Posts: 330
Originally Posted by coffeedrinker View Post
if only we knew, when we get that bad taste in our mouth (or stomach) that it really IS telling us something, we wouldn't talk ourselves out of that feeling so often
.
listen to your gut>and like Coffeedrinker said dont talk yourself out of it!
freefalling is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:01 PM.