hottyc

I have no idea what to do at this point. I have a serious bf that is addicted to meth, and trying to understand his behavior is killing me! I am hoping that I can get any kind of insight to relieve these feelings that are overwhelming me everyday and tearing me apart. I do know that it is impossible to understand a meth addict, and I have never been with one and I really need to find a way to understand anything at this point.

Freedom1990

As a recovering meth addict myself, I can assure you the only way you would understand is if you were a meth addict too. Be glad you aren't.

My question to you is, why are you involved with an active addict?

Impurrfect

Welcome to SR! Sorry for what has brought you here, though.

I agree with the above - as both a recovering addict (RA) from crack, and one who left my bf behind because he chose not to quit, I've been on both sides of addiction and neither is pretty. They both will take you down if you let them.

I highly recommend you read the "sticky's" which are the posts at the top of this forum...especially the one about "what addicts do". As long as he is actively using, drugs will be his highest priority - above everything and everyone else. Never, ever believe what he says...we A's (addicts) will tell you anything and everything to ensure that our life continues the way we want it...to allow us to keep using with as few hassles and consequences as possible. And yes, in the eyes of an A, anyone who stands in our way is seen as a "hassle" - not someone who loves us.

Please do check into getting support for yourself - al-anon/nar-anon are great, personal counselor is another option. The very best thing you can do is stop focusing on HIM and figure out what you want from your life and go for it.

Keep reading and posting...you will find that you are not alone - many, many people here know exactly what you're going through.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

teke

welcome

ThatLittleGirl

I spent many, many days like you...trying to figure everything out...trying to make sense out of the senseless. It finally became uncontrollable in my household, and I started looking for serious help for myself because I was sick and tired of the anxiety attacks, tears, frustration...which lead me to this site. I read "What Addicts Do", and for me, the light "came on" so to speak. How or why, I couldn't tell you. Now, I'm still at the beginning of my journey, so I know there is much knowledge yet to gain...but I am so ready...finally, after ten years. I can tell you over and over to stop trying to understand his behavior because you never will, but truly I had people tell me that over and over and it never would sink in...until I was ready. I hope for you that understanding and with it, peace. Perhaps for you, as it was with me, reading all the threads in this forum will help. I don't understand addiction, and I never will...but truly, I don't need to understand it...I need to understand me, and why I feel the need to "fix" it... I wish you the best of luck on your journey. <<hugs>>

Soleus

I've been in the same shoes before, I had a serious relationship with an addict I felt the same way, the need and drive to understand. It consumed me and I recently realized, recently as in yesterday, that I am sacrificing so much to learn about addiction. There are many things I need to take care of and do that wasnt getting done because I was busy focusing on him. There is no way to understand it, and I hear meth is one of the worst and the most difficult to get off of. I don't want to tell you what to do but I would suggest getting away from that, many have already mentioned that he will take you down with him. I know that as well, the year I was with my ex addict boyfriend I was slowly getting farther and farther away from the goals I had set for myself and where I saw myself in my future. I wasn't realizing it while it was happening but everything was about him, I wasn't doing the things I enjoyed or pushing myself towards what I wanted to do and my goals.


You can try and try to understand. You'll gain knowledge, I've learned a lot about addiction but it's all superficial, I'll never know what it's like to be one. That's NOT something I want to try out in order to relate to someone.

My ex explained it the best to me once because I kept telling him that I wanted so much to understand.

He said quiet simply-
Do you know what it's like to be a man (I'm female, lol)? Is there anyway during any time you could ever possibly know what it's like to be a man?
And of course there's no way to know what that's like, you're born one way or the either.

Just some things to think about, you will of course research and try to learn what you can. Take it from my experience though- don't let it take away from your life because it will if you're not careful.

Take care and good luck

tchappy

Meth is the devils drug I believe. My ex Addict BF was on meth and my life and his spiraled out of control. He almost took me down with him. He is now unemployed, never speaks to his children and has a little meth girlfriend.

I can't stress enough how you need to take care of YOU first. The lies and insane stuff that will consume your life if you are with a meth addict will make your head spin. My health ended up being affected so I had to make a choice ME or HIM. I chose ME and made him leave. Meth is a powerful drug and is VERY hard to get clean from. VERY!!!

Take care of you first and just leave him to his addiction because you will never be able to compete with METH.

BeautifulDisatr

You are not alone!!!!! I am sure that does not bring you much comfort, however keep coming back to this site. I keep reading post, after post, after post and I can honestly say everyday I feel a little bit more of my sanity coming back. It does help and give me the emotional and metal strength I need to care for myself and my two children. My boyfriend is a active meth addict. Meth is truly the devils drug and the only way to stop this cycle of craziness is for us, the individual, to stop doing our part within the cycle. Mind you I do understand it is easier said then done.

(((HUGS)))

hello-kitty

Hi. I don't have much more to add to the above but welcome. Please read everything you can on this website and understand that there is not enough love in the world to stop a meth addict (or any addict) from using or acting crazy.

It's the nature of the drug.