frankly

I've come a long way since joining this forum. I've recognized my part in addiction, my co-dependance. I feel I've got a pretty good grip on what my bounderies are. I use the tools I learned here, often, very often.

Then today, I realize that if I don't use my tools every day diligently, then, low and behold, I'm right back in that codie rut. Not just with addiction, but as a lifestyle.

This is what happened today to make me realize that I have to battle that codie lifestyle for the rest of my life, one day at a time.

I had to pee really bad and was making my way toward the bathroom when son #1 arrived home and needed to talk about some problems at work, so I held it and we talked for about 30 min. I then told him I was sorry but I really really had to go to the bathroom, headed that way again. Only to be stopped by son #2 mom! mom! can you please come here I need your help. I can't get this cylinder head off this block, what do I do? 10 min. later, I'm weaving my way toward that bathroom again. RRRRIng, Daughter on the phone, mom can I come over and use your internet? Sure hon. Two steps back toward that bathroom, grand daughter runs up and about knocks me down. With her mom in tow, needing to ask about something.

At this point, I'm not even hearing what she is saying, all I feel is this intense pressure that if I don't get in that bathroom soon......so I think I just agreed with whatever was being said.

MOM, MOM we have a leak! Water going everywhere at the well and under the house. OH Lord, please don't let me hear water running!

Daughter shows up, gotta close out what I was doing on the computer real quick so she can use it, run in the house and listen to the leak in the floor, run outside and make sure the leak at the well isn't going to do any massive damage and then run back towards the bathroom.

Now what is standing between me and that beautiful throne, is son #1, his girlfriend, their baby, son #2, daugher and Jerry and to top it off, both of the chihuhuas need to go out, they all want my attention.

STOP! Everyone! I'm going to the bathroom right NOW, deal with it!

By this time, I believe it was nearly two hours from the time I originally started that direction.

And here I thought I was all cured of my codie ways......not.

Just goes to show you, that even when drugs aren't involved, our codie lifestyle raises it's ugly head, even in daily life.

Hope this gives you all a chuckle. At least I can laugh at myself.


B

Ann

LOL, you had me dancing in the hall with you, I'm one of those people that when I gotta go, I GOTTA GO.

I see past the giggles, how it's just too easy to be all things to all people and taking care of ourselves last. Nice catch, Frankly, and I hope you take a full day just for you...maybe hide in the bathroom?

Big hugs because you gave me my morning smile.

frankly

You got it Ann, all things to all people......except ourselves.

So why is it we don't rate right up there in line? No one is going to take care of us. How can they, we have taken those reigns out of everyone elses hands. For me, I guess that is how I feel like I'm in control (even though I'm really not).

It makes me feel really great and important when every one leans on me, needs me. Can't live without me (or so I think).

I put MYSELF there. They didn't put me there. My dillusion of being in control is of my own making. So when it gets unbearable, I have to really look at myself.

Change starts with me.

And oh such sweet relief when I pay attention to me. LOL

MsPINKAcres

ok -as soon as I reply I'm going to the bathroom - bwah ha ha ha ha ha ha

this is so true and so funny

thanks for the morning smiles!!

Praying you have a PINKFULLY Blessed day filled with many "bathroom" breaks!
HUGS,
Rita

cece1960

Ha! Frankly, as usual you hit another nail on the head (even if it often comes in strange lessons )

I too wait for everyone else before taking care of myself. Often, I don't even realize it. My younger brother commented on the fact that his MIL always waits until everyone has made a plate (and sometimes had seconds) before she sits down to eat. He always thought she feared there wouldn't be enough. I explained to him that I do this same (not on purpose), because I'm busy getting things for people, cleaning up the kitchen and making sure everyone is comfortable. Its engrained from the time my kids were infants.
I can't tell you how many meals of toddler scraps I've had in my lifetime lol