my daughter is in the er
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 61
Phew!!!!
Thank you for the update, Coffee, and what a relief for you...I remember a particularly bad episode I had in college--I'm embarrassed to say paramedics were called--and while I didn't quit drinking because of it, it was a life-changing moment. I'd say for me personally, there was a deep deep shame over what I had done to myself. Pardon my naievte--I don't know if this is something you've already discussed, but perhaps now more than ever Alex might be open to counseling with someone who specializes in addiction (?)
Love and prayers for you this Sunday!
jc
Thank you for the update, Coffee, and what a relief for you...I remember a particularly bad episode I had in college--I'm embarrassed to say paramedics were called--and while I didn't quit drinking because of it, it was a life-changing moment. I'd say for me personally, there was a deep deep shame over what I had done to myself. Pardon my naievte--I don't know if this is something you've already discussed, but perhaps now more than ever Alex might be open to counseling with someone who specializes in addiction (?)
Love and prayers for you this Sunday!
jc
I Love Who I Am
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Midwest
Posts: 3,210
Well this made me cry. I wish you were my mom. You handled it with such grace, juggling one childs needs while calling for prayers for the other so far away. What an emotional ride. Thank you for telling us what's happened. Maybe she'll get into treatment when she comes home. Maybe not.
The really beautiufl thing is your love for her, coupled with acceptance of your powerlessness.
What makes a person so young drink like this? My AH did. I think it's genetics.
The really beautiufl thing is your love for her, coupled with acceptance of your powerlessness.
What makes a person so young drink like this? My AH did. I think it's genetics.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
I realized when I woke up this morning that I did not write the post that indicated that Alex did regain conciousness, but of course that was obvious when she later was released, and we spoke on the phone. When I talked to her friend, I asked "you are aware of alcohol poisoning, aren't you? And that it can be fatal?" They needed her to stay there until the alcohol level was lower. The friend said that it couldn't have been that bad, since they didn't pump her stomach. I told her that she was down-playing the seriousness - that there was a reason they kept her there for so many hours. Does anyone know if her statement is true? And what the actual danger is with so much in her system?
Of course I too hope this is a big wake-up call. And not in a way that leads her to change her drinking habits, but know that she needs do to much more.
My mother had nine years sober, then drank again for a few years, and now has several (maybe 8 or 9?) more years sober. She has never done AA; has felt it too punitive and negative. Since she and I don't agree, we don't talk much about it. But my mother cried on the phone, she was torn up, Alex is one of the extra-special grandchildren to her, and wants to see her when she gets back home and have a talk.
Her dad (my xah) also wants to support her in finding sobriety, but he still drinks and I suspect this is too close to home for him to be candid with her and truly helpful.
I can't help wondering "why, why, why? what, what, what, happened to this child that is such a deep pain inside of her that she seeks this out????" I know that it's not the parents' fault, but still, what did someone do to her, and what could I have done differently?
After I got that call, I went in the room where my abf - who was here for the first time since he moved out - to tell him about it, and cry of course. The thing about our sometime dissapointing relationship, is I can always go to him for comfort. I called my mom too. But I didn't call anyone on my Alanon phone list, and I didn't call my dad, or my brother (whom I'm close to) and I didn't call my best girlfriend, who is a 20-year Al-anon-er. I came here. And funny, I didn't even pray. I have a relationship with God, but not a very good one, I go to church once a month or so, and find peace and answers there. But I did not pray. Until this morning. That's when it hit me that I didn't even have a conversation with God. But some of you did, and I thank you so much.
It has been powerful.
Of course I too hope this is a big wake-up call. And not in a way that leads her to change her drinking habits, but know that she needs do to much more.
My mother had nine years sober, then drank again for a few years, and now has several (maybe 8 or 9?) more years sober. She has never done AA; has felt it too punitive and negative. Since she and I don't agree, we don't talk much about it. But my mother cried on the phone, she was torn up, Alex is one of the extra-special grandchildren to her, and wants to see her when she gets back home and have a talk.
Her dad (my xah) also wants to support her in finding sobriety, but he still drinks and I suspect this is too close to home for him to be candid with her and truly helpful.
I can't help wondering "why, why, why? what, what, what, happened to this child that is such a deep pain inside of her that she seeks this out????" I know that it's not the parents' fault, but still, what did someone do to her, and what could I have done differently?
After I got that call, I went in the room where my abf - who was here for the first time since he moved out - to tell him about it, and cry of course. The thing about our sometime dissapointing relationship, is I can always go to him for comfort. I called my mom too. But I didn't call anyone on my Alanon phone list, and I didn't call my dad, or my brother (whom I'm close to) and I didn't call my best girlfriend, who is a 20-year Al-anon-er. I came here. And funny, I didn't even pray. I have a relationship with God, but not a very good one, I go to church once a month or so, and find peace and answers there. But I did not pray. Until this morning. That's when it hit me that I didn't even have a conversation with God. But some of you did, and I thank you so much.
It has been powerful.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
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The friend said that it couldn't have been that bad, since they didn't pump her stomach. I told her that she was down-playing the seriousness - that there was a reason they kept her there for so many hours. Does anyone know if her statement is true? And what the actual danger is with so much in her system?
if she drank herself unconscious and remained unconscious, it was very very dangerous.
it could shut down the part of the brain that keeps her heart pumping and her lungs breathing.
her friends need to get educated.
i am so glad she is awake.
i dont know why someone so young would drink so much, i did it myself.
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
yes, the friend admitted she was uneducated about these things. she is one of the smartest young people i know, and also has a big heart; i know she would like to help her friend, my daughter. maybe i'll email her some info
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
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Originally Posted by wicked 
I am not sure they would be able to pump anything out of her stomach because the alcohol had already metabolized throughout her body. i would think they might want to replace fluids that had been lost.
if she drank herself unconscious and remained unconscious, it was very very dangerous.
it could shut down the part of the brain that keeps her heart pumping and her lungs breathing.
her friends need to get educated.
if she drank herself unconscious and remained unconscious, it was very very dangerous.
it could shut down the part of the brain that keeps her heart pumping and her lungs breathing.
her friends need to get educated.
This was not just "a drunk passing out". Her friends should be aware of that. This was a "life or death" situation and perhaps they could all take a lesson.
Wow, I hear my own anxiety in my words here. Perhaps because I have sat through drug overdoses with my son. So forgive me of the words don't fall as gently as they could.
Keeping the prayers flowing.
Hugs
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
I was so relieved to come here this morning and read that she is okay!
Alcohol poisoning can be deadly.
I've got pharmacology this semester, and am studying all the drugs that affect the central nervous system, alcohol being one of those.
Alcohol is a drug that is metabolized at a constant rate, only 10-15 ml of pure alcohol per hour. That's the equivalent of 1 beer, 1 glass of wine, or an average cocktail.
So when someone drinks a large quantity of alcohol in a short period of time, all the rest of that alcohol is in the system wreaking havoc while the liver can only metabolize the 10-15 ml an hour. It's a cumulative effect when drinking large amounts quickly.
No doubt that is why the hospital kept her so long.
I strongly encourage you to really sink your teeth into Alanon and work on that conscious contact with God.
If your daughter is an alcoholic, this may scare her temporarily.
The best help we can be to our alcoholic children is to be strong in our own recovery.
:ghug3 :ghug3
Alcohol poisoning can be deadly.
I've got pharmacology this semester, and am studying all the drugs that affect the central nervous system, alcohol being one of those.
Alcohol is a drug that is metabolized at a constant rate, only 10-15 ml of pure alcohol per hour. That's the equivalent of 1 beer, 1 glass of wine, or an average cocktail.
So when someone drinks a large quantity of alcohol in a short period of time, all the rest of that alcohol is in the system wreaking havoc while the liver can only metabolize the 10-15 ml an hour. It's a cumulative effect when drinking large amounts quickly.
No doubt that is why the hospital kept her so long.
I strongly encourage you to really sink your teeth into Alanon and work on that conscious contact with God.
If your daughter is an alcoholic, this may scare her temporarily.
The best help we can be to our alcoholic children is to be strong in our own recovery.
:ghug3 :ghug3
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Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
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Hi Coffee - so very thankful your daughter made it out of that nightmare. That's wonderful news, & I too hope that a new day will dawn for her.
You asked why she seeks out alcohol & what could you have done differently? I hope you won't go down that road of blaming/questioning yourself regarding the cause of her drinking. Please be kind to yourself. Speaking as an alcoholic, I loved it right from my very first experience with it. No one did anything to me - I had no traumatic experiences in my life, and no one could have made me quit until I saw the light myself.
You asked why she seeks out alcohol & what could you have done differently? I hope you won't go down that road of blaming/questioning yourself regarding the cause of her drinking. Please be kind to yourself. Speaking as an alcoholic, I loved it right from my very first experience with it. No one did anything to me - I had no traumatic experiences in my life, and no one could have made me quit until I saw the light myself.
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Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((Coffee)) - the above is right....there's no use pumping the stomach as the alcohol that hasn't been vomited up, sweated out has been absorbed. They usually give a LOT of IV fluids and what we used to call a "banana bag" which has added multivitamins and thiamine (they make the IV fluids yellow). Someone who is unconscious from alcohol may have a tube inserted in their NOSE to keep them from vomiting as they are at risk of choking on it.
I'm NOT giving medical advice...just wanted you to be able to tell Alex and her friend that the "she wasn't so bad because they didn't pump her stomach" idea is incorrect. Hopefully, they will see that this WAS really bad and Alex is very lucky.
Big hugs and prayers to you all!!
Amy
I'm NOT giving medical advice...just wanted you to be able to tell Alex and her friend that the "she wasn't so bad because they didn't pump her stomach" idea is incorrect. Hopefully, they will see that this WAS really bad and Alex is very lucky.
Big hugs and prayers to you all!!
Amy
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Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Europe
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I'm so happy she's alright. It's a blessing beyond words. I've checked this thread many times today and last night. I think we all were here rooting enormously for Alex.
I so agree with Anna. this is a life or death situation. i know i've had overdoses. maybe i don't do it always right, but there's one thing i know, is that the next time can be fatal for anyone. the body can only take so much. Alex has a fighter in her to have survived this, so she has a fighter in her to get out of it.
I wish you the best coffee, and i wish the best for your daughter.
I'm really happy she's alright.
Nuno
I so agree with Anna. this is a life or death situation. i know i've had overdoses. maybe i don't do it always right, but there's one thing i know, is that the next time can be fatal for anyone. the body can only take so much. Alex has a fighter in her to have survived this, so she has a fighter in her to get out of it.
I wish you the best coffee, and i wish the best for your daughter.
I'm really happy she's alright.
Nuno
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I spoke with the mother who is mothering my Alex a few minutes ago. Alex told me on the phone last night how very grateful she is that this woman was there for her. Even though it wasn't her own mommy, they have had lots of hugs, and she has been a source of comfort for Alex. While speaking to her, I got the feeling, not for the first time, that this woman is a bit of a controller. (Takes one to know one??)
She's got the quiet talks they are going to have mapped out in her mind, and decided that Alex would be better off just staying in Florida. The mama bear in me made me text Alex to let her know that the offer of bringing her back home still stands, but that I hoped she could have some fun with her now-sober friends. Part of me would like her vacation to end, and she spend a week miserable with the consequences, but part of me wants her to experience the time down there sober - she needs to know that life can be enjoyable that way.
When the mother told me that she expects the hospital bill to be around $7,000, I was a little sick inside, but immediately thought: "consequences". Whatever the insurance doesn't pick up, is hers to own.
We march on.
She's got the quiet talks they are going to have mapped out in her mind, and decided that Alex would be better off just staying in Florida. The mama bear in me made me text Alex to let her know that the offer of bringing her back home still stands, but that I hoped she could have some fun with her now-sober friends. Part of me would like her vacation to end, and she spend a week miserable with the consequences, but part of me wants her to experience the time down there sober - she needs to know that life can be enjoyable that way.
When the mother told me that she expects the hospital bill to be around $7,000, I was a little sick inside, but immediately thought: "consequences". Whatever the insurance doesn't pick up, is hers to own.
We march on.
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