HurtingDad

Wanted to hi to everyone, haven't posted a thread in quite sometime. I have been reading and writing on individual issues.

My son's struggle still goes on. He's still in NYC, supposedly on daily methadone from a clinic. I haven't seen him in 9 months, but he calls me 5 - 8 times a week just to say hi.

I'm good at saying nothing when he mentions he has 'no food', or needs something. I'll be noncommital and say things like check Salvation Army for it, or drop-in shelters.

My ex-wife has had him over her house for the occasional weekend, and he's always telling me how he wants to see me. We actually set up a few weekends, but he always had an excuse to not come. I don't feel bad about not seeing him, he elicits anger and sorrow from me.

What's the point of this rambling post? I guess just to talk about my situation and wish well to all - addicts, families and friends. Hope everyone is doing well.

jewell614

I just wanted to commend you on your strength. Have a blessed day.

JMFburns

Thanks HD, I appreciate the occasional updates from you.

Impurrfect

((HurtingDad))

It's good to hear from you. I think you are doing GREAT! I understand how he wants to see you, but backs out when something is set up....if he's anything like me, I had a lot of shame to deal with and it was really, really hard to see the pain in my dad's eyes. I wouldn't even call, so I think it's pretty cool that he DOES call you.

You and your son remain in my prayers.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

Jody Hepler

"It's not over until it is over" - and - "as long as there's breath, there's hope".

My son is now clean and sober 2-1/2 years. Took a long time, but I can tell you that Alanon works because my life really was ok - whether or not he ever got sober.

Today, I do cherish every phone call and visit that we have.

I know how tough it can be some days, especially after the phone calls. So hang in.

Jody Hepler

Kindeyes

I understand. I'm right there with you HD. I pop in and out of SR periodically. But I sometimes don't know why......but then someone's post will catch my attention and I'm hopeful that in some small way something I can share with them will help them for that one moment.

I am experiencing a very similar situation with my AS. I feel hollow sometimes....I pray for him to find his way and for God to watch over him.....because I can't. And I live my life to the best of my ability each day. He calls. I listen. I love him and take each opportunity to let him know that. But I don't give him money. I don't tell him what he should do. I just listen.....just like you do with your son. It's all we can do.....until they get sick and tired of being sick and tired.

gentle hugs to you today

idahoone

HurtingDad,
I think you are doing great- keep doing what you need to do to take care of yourself. ai will pray for your son that he gets tired of the chaos soon and chooses sobriety. My RAS has been sober from drugs for close to 3 years (he does occasionally drink alcohol which I of course disapprove of) - in his case he got sick of the consequences...jail many times, and finally prison.

Take care and hugs from a Mom who knows your pain...

teke

glad to hear from you. i think you are doing great. hopefully soon, your son will find his way. i'll keep you both in my prayers.

coffeedrinker

I am heading over to church in a few minutes, and when I light a candle I will pray for the addicts in my life who are still falling down, those who are sober but still struggling, and for all of the people here on S/R who have a child who is an addict. I am one of them and although I can detach pretty effectively, I naturally love and cherish her, and wish for her the best that life has to offer.

Hurtingdad, I will include your son in the prayer.

Ann

God to hear from you HD, and glad you are doing well regardless of how your son is doing.

I too had to let go of my son (and his addiction) and find a better life for me before I got drawn down with him.

Today I live well, I am happy and free, and my son is in God's hands each day.

Hugs