endangered

Hi everybody,

Since I am new here and the whole recovery thing is new too I wanted to run this by my new friends and see how you think I did. I had a talk with AH last night. It went something like this.

"I know that you are struggling and that you have to take your recovery one day at a time but I need to tell you about my future."

"I want a future where there are no drugs ,including pot, in my home. One where there are no dealers around. It doesn't include any fits, cursing, ranting, and raving. There needs to be a steady source of income from all adults along with the necessay insurances to protect our health....and teeth (haha)."

"I want my girls to be proud of their parents and never afraid of them. I want a social life of my own and if there is a partner, I want a social life with them too."

"Regardless of whether we are together or not I will always love you as a person and wish only the best for you but it's time for me to think about what is best for the children and me."

He said "So do you want me to pack my stuff and go?"

I said "That's up to you. It depends on whether what you want for your future matchs up with mine. I control my own future and you control yours.

"I am having a hard time dealing with all of this and I can't promise how much longer I can handle it. I just thought it was important for you to know where my life is going."

He thought about it a minute and said something to the effect of "What your asking for is not unreasonable."

I know I didn't do this perfectly. I had already told him, on the day I found out he was back at it (or still at it) that if he ever started taking pills again he was out of here, no room for discussion. We are still very early on in this battle (day 12 of no pills and day 7 of no methadone) but I am hoping that I did the right thing.

Feedback please.

Serenebynow

Excellent. !!! A+


print this out, read to self as needed!

MsPINKAcres

((endangered))

sounds like you are facing this from a very healthy recovery oriented place - looking at what is best for you and your children and yet still allowing your AH to have the dignity to make his own choices.

AWESOME!
Keep doing what your HP is guiding you to do!!

HUGS,
Rita

Suspicious

i am going to print this out to use as a 'script' when i feel strong enough to confront ah

endangered

Awww..... shucks! Thanks you guys :ghug3. It's nice to have some validation that I am moving in the right direction. I know this is only the beginning and now comes the hard part...I said what I mean, now I have to mean what I say. It's nice to feel like I am finally putting myself and my family above AH's addiction. Thanks for your continued support.

Ann

I too think you said it very well, from a healthy perspective and you kept it about "you" and what was and was not acceptable in your life.

Bravo! You did well today and tomorrow you will do the best you can. That's all any of us can do.

Hugs