Just feel like being here
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Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Just feel like being here
Hi, I posted here for a brief period when my son was in active addiction. I doubt anyone remembers me but that's okay.
The things I learned here helped me in other areas of my life and I was just feeling sad and I guess just want to write things out where I feel safe.
As far as I can tell, my son is not using but he has such stress in his life that I always wonder if he might start again.
He left his wife and I feel bad for him because he is facing divorce and all that goes with it. But, I do have to say that he has been making healthier choices than in the past. The last time they separated, he used. This time, I don't think so. I see him making healthier choices in handling the stress. I just hope it continues. By the way, his marriage troubles have nothing to do with addiction. It is just normal stuff and that part is nice for a change.
It is just so hard to see your child (even though he is an adult) suffer. I hate it. I'm sad but I do feel he is much better off without her in the long run. I never thought they were right for each other in the first place.
I feel bad for his child and step child but there are positive things there also. His soon to be ex is not the most nuturing mom but she is a decent person at least. I don't have to worry about the grandchildren being abused or neglected. She is fine with him taking them for his weekends and other times so that is something. She is fine with my husband and I seeing them as much as we want. Well I watch my granddaughter while they work every day and have since she was born.
I feel the worst about her flirting with another guy and doing this while they were still living together. Of course she says they are "just friends" but who knows.
This would be somewhat easier if no children were involved but we have to pretend to be hunky dory in front of the children. Not fun.
To top if off my daughter just got divorced. Thank goodness no children in that relationship. Her ex is harrassing her so I'm worried about her also although she does have a temporary restraining order and it looks to become permanent Wednesday when she sees the judge.
I guess I just need a hug or something.
Ahh, that helped to write this out.
KariSue
The things I learned here helped me in other areas of my life and I was just feeling sad and I guess just want to write things out where I feel safe.
As far as I can tell, my son is not using but he has such stress in his life that I always wonder if he might start again.
He left his wife and I feel bad for him because he is facing divorce and all that goes with it. But, I do have to say that he has been making healthier choices than in the past. The last time they separated, he used. This time, I don't think so. I see him making healthier choices in handling the stress. I just hope it continues. By the way, his marriage troubles have nothing to do with addiction. It is just normal stuff and that part is nice for a change.
It is just so hard to see your child (even though he is an adult) suffer. I hate it. I'm sad but I do feel he is much better off without her in the long run. I never thought they were right for each other in the first place.
I feel bad for his child and step child but there are positive things there also. His soon to be ex is not the most nuturing mom but she is a decent person at least. I don't have to worry about the grandchildren being abused or neglected. She is fine with him taking them for his weekends and other times so that is something. She is fine with my husband and I seeing them as much as we want. Well I watch my granddaughter while they work every day and have since she was born.
I feel the worst about her flirting with another guy and doing this while they were still living together. Of course she says they are "just friends" but who knows.
This would be somewhat easier if no children were involved but we have to pretend to be hunky dory in front of the children. Not fun.
To top if off my daughter just got divorced. Thank goodness no children in that relationship. Her ex is harrassing her so I'm worried about her also although she does have a temporary restraining order and it looks to become permanent Wednesday when she sees the judge.
I guess I just need a hug or something.
Ahh, that helped to write this out.
KariSue
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
((KariSue))
:ghug3:
Sorry for what you're going through with your son. Remember, just because he used before, doesn't mean he will again. I'm an RA (recovering addict), have been through a slew of stuff lately, too, but using isn't something I choose to do today. It sounds as though he's making more logical choices.
Remember that taking care of YOU is a priority, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
:ghug3:
Sorry for what you're going through with your son. Remember, just because he used before, doesn't mean he will again. I'm an RA (recovering addict), have been through a slew of stuff lately, too, but using isn't something I choose to do today. It sounds as though he's making more logical choices.
Remember that taking care of YOU is a priority, okay?
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Thanks for the hugs and kind words Amy. I really, really appreciate it. 
I am trying to take care of myself. One way was writing this out here.
I know that he may not use again and I so hope that is the case. Well one day at a time I guess.
I'm sorry you have to go through things too. I like your quote. The best to you and thank you so much!
KariSue
I am trying to take care of myself. One way was writing this out here.
I know that he may not use again and I so hope that is the case. Well one day at a time I guess.
I'm sorry you have to go through things too. I like your quote. The best to you and thank you so much!
KariSue
Member
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Eastern Time Zone
Posts: 1,011
Here's another one.Thanks for coming back and sharing your ESH about your son.
Some weeks are better than others, aren't they? For instance, just this week I spent $200 for the dog's annual exam, a part on the car broke, all my social outreaches have been cancelled because people outright forgot, others had more important things to do and cancelled at the last minute, or the snowstorm cancelled everything. Oh, and my tooth broke Thursday night which will need a cap ($$). Oh, and Saturday night I heard through the grapevine that 24 YO AS's ex-girlfriend has cervical cancer which in a 22 YO young lady is 99% caused by an STD which now I am sure my son has and is self-centeredly passing it on to other young women which will kill them prematurely or cause them to be infertile, and this will be for the rest of his life.
Karisue, i need a hug too. I don't know where you live, but the weather has a lot to do with it. We just cannot get out into the beautiful world we live in and soak it all in. But let's just hang in there until this, too, shall pass and we see the gifts our HP has given us and continues to give us as the days go by.
Jujubee Queen
Join Date: Nov 2003
Location: Port Charlotte, Florida
Posts: 3,582
KariSue,
I hear you loud and clear.
My oldest Son, age 36, has a one year old son with his GF, age 21, and we babysit him through the week, cause his mom works and attends college.
While the son is in prison for 2 years.
IMO, he "talked" her into the pregnancy for all the selfish reasons addicts sometimes have, he'd have someone waiting for him when he is released.
Although that may not happen.
Today, I may love my son's, but I'm not liking them too much.
You're a good grandmom, KariSue.
I hear you loud and clear.
My oldest Son, age 36, has a one year old son with his GF, age 21, and we babysit him through the week, cause his mom works and attends college.
While the son is in prison for 2 years.
IMO, he "talked" her into the pregnancy for all the selfish reasons addicts sometimes have, he'd have someone waiting for him when he is released.
Although that may not happen.
Today, I may love my son's, but I'm not liking them too much.
You're a good grandmom, KariSue.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by sojourner 
Here's another one.Thanks for coming back and sharing your ESH about your son.
Some weeks are better than others, aren't they? For instance, just this week I spent $200 for the dog's annual exam, a part on the car broke, all my social outreaches have been cancelled because people outright forgot, others had more important things to do and cancelled at the last minute, or the snowstorm cancelled everything. Oh, and my tooth broke Thursday night which will need a cap ($$). Oh, and Saturday night I heard through the grapevine that 24 YO AS's ex-girlfriend has cervical cancer which in a 22 YO young lady is 99% caused by an STD which now I am sure my son has and is self-centeredly passing it on to other young women which will kill them prematurely or cause them to be infertile, and this will be for the rest of his life.
Karisue, i need a hug too. I don't know where you live, but the weather has a lot to do with it. We just cannot get out into the beautiful world we live in and soak it all in. But let's just hang in there until this, too, shall pass and we see the gifts our HP has given us and continues to give us as the days go by.
Well I'm in luck with the weather as I have lived in South Florida for the last 15 years. I remember those cold winters when I was in Ohio and it is harder to deal with things when you can't get outside. I used to bundle up and walk in the snow though. This winter is worse than most though. I did get out today and it was beautiful but we have had the coldest winter we have ever had here as well. Not the same as up there but for us it is unusual.
I am an atheist so I am not into the higher power part of all this but respect everyone's beliefs. I believe our help comes from each other and there is sure a lot of it here for which I am very grateful.
Take care of yourself and I hope next week is better for you, Kari
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 590
Originally Posted by mooselips
KariSue,
I hear you loud and clear.
My oldest Son, age 36, has a one year old son with his GF, age 21, and we babysit him through the week, cause his mom works and attends college.
While the son is in prison for 2 years.
IMO, he "talked" her into the pregnancy for all the selfish reasons addicts sometimes have, he'd have someone waiting for him when he is released.
Although that may not happen.
Today, I may love my son's, but I'm not liking them too much.
You're a good grandmom, KariSue.
I hear you loud and clear.
My oldest Son, age 36, has a one year old son with his GF, age 21, and we babysit him through the week, cause his mom works and attends college.
While the son is in prison for 2 years.
IMO, he "talked" her into the pregnancy for all the selfish reasons addicts sometimes have, he'd have someone waiting for him when he is released.
Although that may not happen.
Today, I may love my son's, but I'm not liking them too much.
You're a good grandmom, KariSue.
Right now I'm not upset with my son but I know the feeling as I have been there in the past. Now I'm just worried about him and sad for him.
Moms and dads go through so much for their kids.
KariSue
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