To All of you
 

Am I ever learning a lot from reading the posts in here. Every day something new presents itself to me and today a couple things did......thinking he needed me, when he doesn't is huge for me. I turned into this turbo healing guru for him and in the end all that ever happened was me angry, hurt and him telling me "if you'd just leave the pills out of it we wouldn't have any problems." I was trying to do everything I could to help him get better and then my therapist told me......when you realize that your working harder at healing then his is something is wrong and you need to let go..........I am trying every day to do just that. I have managed so far to begin to distance myself emotionally from him, it kinda feels like now he's just a guy I know.....its sad having to look at it like that but when I do I can see the little hooks he sets for me and before I would have let myself get hooked without even realizing it because he plays on my guilt. well I don't let him anymore and so far it seems to be working.....its hard but Im able to catch myself in the nic of time soon I hope I wont have to catch myself it will just be something that happens naturally and even when I end up getting hooked and I go down that road I only end up going a short walk instead of a mile before I can say.....wait stop dont go there you have a choice here.....

As much as it hurts to know that all of us are here because of something so horrible but I am grateful for everyone of you an the experience and journey you have been on because its helping me heal and helping me to find my own road to walk. Now I can see why my AH doesnt want me talking to anyone other then him about addiction......he keeps my eyes shut but you guys are clearing the smoke!

oh and thank you so much for reminding me I am not crazy! cuz I really started to think I was crazy.

Working harder than they are at helping them... Very Very familiar!!! The sad thing is I did it for years without knowing about the pills. I do wonder if I had known if I had been different, but it matters not anymore, the point is, I put myself and what was good for me on the back burner trying to "fix" someone else at my own expense, and that was the biggest lesson I learned.

We are taught to think of others, to not be selfish, etc. But, there is a difference between giving to others and giving up ourselves. I think that's where we as codies find it hard to distinguish and have to relearn, or learn, appropriate behavior to ourselves! You are doing great! It's not easy.


(((hugs)))

yeah, i understand. every time i have started a thread, and people actually respond to me, it really touches me. i get A LOT of strength from this site.

you are on your way, june bug!

(((((junebug)))))

these people have been a life line for me. i actually thought i was crazy when i first came here. what a relief it was to find out i was. you are doing great. you and yours are in my prayers.

Everyone here are passengers in my car and it's an amazing journey :)

I remember how relieved I was to learn that I wasn't crazy, I was codependent...and that I wasn't alone.

Together we can do what we cannot do alone.

Hugs