Pigs are flying
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 325
Teggie-
This kind of communication can be a challenge! At least for me!
I know you love your girls and they are important to you! I just get this reaction when I hear the words "Don't worry!!" (Gee, I wonder where THAT came from?) And I KNOW I said it to my kids- MANY times!! So- dear, you are really ahead of this gal.
This kind of communication can be a challenge! At least for me!
I know you love your girls and they are important to you! I just get this reaction when I hear the words "Don't worry!!" (Gee, I wonder where THAT came from?) And I KNOW I said it to my kids- MANY times!! So- dear, you are really ahead of this gal.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
Thank you Anvil, I do too, I think thats what prompted me to write today. I am feeling threatened by it all. Too much, too close, too soon. That feeling of trapped frustration seeping back in.
Old habits are hard to break. And I can see things getting muddy.
Think I need to figure out what our boundries need to be now that he's in rehab and communicate to him what is & isn't acceptable.
I never have been good at dealing with things on the fly, I am one who plans everything & gets frustrated when it doesn't come out like I want. Part of my codie being.
Heading out to my alanon meetiong, maybye I'll get some clarity soon on what those boundries need to be.
Hugs
Teggie
Old habits are hard to break. And I can see things getting muddy.
Think I need to figure out what our boundries need to be now that he's in rehab and communicate to him what is & isn't acceptable.
I never have been good at dealing with things on the fly, I am one who plans everything & gets frustrated when it doesn't come out like I want. Part of my codie being.
Heading out to my alanon meetiong, maybye I'll get some clarity soon on what those boundries need to be.
Hugs
Teggie
Member
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 3,335
Or consider that maybe your boundaries should not change just because he is possibly going to start making efforts towards sobriety... One day, one promise does not a recovery make.
He's got a long long long long long way to go....
Your gut is telling you too much too soon too fast. Listen to it. Rehab (he's not IN rehab - he in an outpatient program and he's being super-medicated by his doctor) is NOT the same as recovery.
He's got a long long long long long way to go....
Your gut is telling you too much too soon too fast. Listen to it. Rehab (he's not IN rehab - he in an outpatient program and he's being super-medicated by his doctor) is NOT the same as recovery.
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Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
Do all his docs know he is an addict? Docs are pretty dumb. He could be over medicated. There are alot of alternative pain management procedures nowadays. You sound pretty healthy in recovery .My XAH got outpatient and it didn't work. He needed longterm inpatient.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Texas
Posts: 341
As far as I know, or so he says he has told them all about his pill binging, who knows? He has certainly lied before.
I agree with you Hello, I am not seeing a traditional rehab going on. It seems more like mental illness/chronic pain managment. Maybye whatever it is going on will help him get better. It's up to him. But ya know what? Time for me to get out of his hula hoop, he'll either get better or fall flat on his face.
Best thing for me right now is to get my kids into counseling and set my boundries and figure out exactly what is going to be best for these kids and I. I hope he does get better and is part of the grand plan. But he may very well not be. I am going to keep him out of the house. I'm agreeable that as long as he is getting help he can stay in the shop but when his actions start showing he's not then I'll be continuing my original plan.
Like you said hello, he has a very long way to go. And nobody can do it for him. And I have a responsibility to my kids, they depend on me and need to have at least one stable parant.
I've stopped making him the center of my world. My kids and me now reside there. My alanon group told me tonight to take it one day at a time.
Thank you all for helping me see things with more clarity. I get a little sidetracked sometimes,
Hugs,
Teggie
I agree with you Hello, I am not seeing a traditional rehab going on. It seems more like mental illness/chronic pain managment. Maybye whatever it is going on will help him get better. It's up to him. But ya know what? Time for me to get out of his hula hoop, he'll either get better or fall flat on his face.
Best thing for me right now is to get my kids into counseling and set my boundries and figure out exactly what is going to be best for these kids and I. I hope he does get better and is part of the grand plan. But he may very well not be. I am going to keep him out of the house. I'm agreeable that as long as he is getting help he can stay in the shop but when his actions start showing he's not then I'll be continuing my original plan.
Like you said hello, he has a very long way to go. And nobody can do it for him. And I have a responsibility to my kids, they depend on me and need to have at least one stable parant.
I've stopped making him the center of my world. My kids and me now reside there. My alanon group told me tonight to take it one day at a time.
Thank you all for helping me see things with more clarity. I get a little sidetracked sometimes,
Hugs,
Teggie
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