barblsn

So RAH and I went to NYC the end of January, had a great time....until I slipped on ice and broke my leg! I can't drive, RAH has to do everything. So, I gave him my bank card so he can get our shopping done, get gas, and money for us to have. I also gave him the key to our post office box. He's been home from prison 1 1/2 years, working full time, moving up in his company. yet I have kept a pretty firm hold on the money. I suppose I could have gotten a friend to handle the money, but honestly that would be such a pain in the a$$, and I had been thinking of letting some of the holds go anyway.
If he's going to relapse, he is going to relapse. Nothing I can do about it, except that this time if it happens again, I am not going to fool myself that 1) it's something else not drugs and 2) I will love him and he will stop.

Anyway, he's been pretty great, doing laundry, making meals etc.
Keep good thoughts for me, cast comes off in one month.

Love you guys!

Callie

Oh - I'm cringing about him having access to your bank card. Are you able to monitor it online? If possible I'd either get cash out and give it to him or keep a minimal amount in there should he decide to do anything.

Trust has to start somewhere, but I'd be really guarded with it starting with access to my bank account. Hope you heal quickly!

rayofsunshine

Hoping your leg heals up nicely! You're right, if he's going to relapse, he will... with or without you. I'm sure he knows you'll be keeping a close eye on balances since you are newly trusting him with these. I will pray for both of you... you for healing and him for continued recovery. (((HUGS)))

barblsn

Oh yeah, I'll be monitoring everything online.

Impurrfect

Sorry about your leg, but good to hear that you are focusing on what you CAN control and that he's been doing good!

Hugs and prayers!

Amy

PurpleWilder

Can you call the card company and have them put a cap on cash advances/withdrawls? This won't stop a big purchase but it would put the brakes on getting 100.00 cash back on a 1.25 gum purchase. Just an idea.

Maybe also get them to call you on the phone for any purchase over a certain amount?

teke

sorry about your leg, hope its better soon and i'm glad to hear rah is doing so well. i think you know how far to take this and i'm glad to hear that you do have a plan. still praying for the both of you.

Insulated

so sorry about your leg and the trip! I'm going to chime in and 2nd dirtmagnet. this may actually be a trigger for him, you just never know.

TNgirlie615

Hope you get to feeling better. I too have just had to give up some control over the money. And it's killing me, but he has 2.5 years of clean time, and if he's gonna do it, now is the time as he has direct access to all of his paycheck now... But NOT mine! Hang in there!

barblsn

I know that the smart thing is to keep that control. I want to trust my husband, so I'm going to. I am ready to accept the consequences. This may be a big mistake, but at least this time I am making the decision, and my eyes are open.