wantingserenity

Hi everyone. I am the mother of a 17 year old daughter with alcohol and drug issues and mental illness. She is extremely bright, went away to college at age 16, but had a breakdown this past October and had to move home. Six psychiatric hospitalizations later, she was dual-diagnosed. She is our only child.

Needless to say, I became a basket case. About 6 weeks ago, I started Alanon and going to a good therapist. I am working hard at finding serenity. I love the Alanon program, but right now I am in the blizzard zone and there haven't been meetings for almost a week, our family is snowed in together, and we're all getting cabin fever!

She has been doing better once they got her on the right psychiatric meds and therapy. She started going to Nar-Anon about 6 weeks ago but seems to be losing interest. She has started taking classes at the community college, is doing well academically, but still making some poor choices. I'm not sure if she's using or not.

I am getting the hang of detaching most days, but I'm really struggling to detach with love. I am also struggling to find an Alanon sponsor. We live in a small town, the Alanon groups are small. I want to find a parent of an alcoholic child to be my sponsor, but that hasn't happened yet.

Chino

Hi, I'm the mom of a 22 year old recovering IV opiate addict. My family doesn't do well with 2 days of cabin fever, let alone being snowed in by a blizzard!

It took me almost two years to detach with love, after discovering her addiction. I started seeing a therapist about two months before it suddenly happened, so its great that you are taking care of yourself. It will come because you want it and are working hard towards that, and it will happen in it's own time. I'm now my daughter's biggest steel toed boot wearing cheerleader

Please remember that no matter how smart your daughter is, and no matter how many tools you've given her, she is still a teenager. The part of her brain that stores rewards and consequences is still several years away from completion, and she still has some trial and error in her immediate future.

Ann

I just want to welcome you too. My son is the addict in my life and I know how much it hurts to watch someone we love destroy their lives with drugs.

Going to meetings was the only thing that helped me find my sanity again. Hope they help you too.

Stick around, there are a lot of moms here who will welcome you also,

Hugs

Spiritual Seeker

Welcome. My son is dual diagnosed too.
How great that al-anon is working in your life. I learned that it truly works when I work it. Great that you are ready to get a sponser...it really is beneficial.

My son was identified gifted. He only went to one semester away at college and also bombed out. Now he is 25. He is still not able to go to college. Though he has completed online classes.
I have become totally okay with that...I accepted "what is."
Fortunately, he's been sober almost two yrs.
Learning how to live life sober + working + managing his mental health
issues is all he can handle. Thankfully he is doing that.
I had to give up my dreams and expectations for him and let him evolve in his own way and schedule.
Because we both work the 12 steps our relationship is amazing now.
That wasn't the case a few yrs. ago.

Hope you stick around and contribute often. We learn a lot from one another.

greeteachday

Glad to "meet" you but sorry for the circumstances. My daughter was an extremely bright and talented young lady as well..reading at age 3, accelerated classes, many many areas of talent. It confirmed for me beyond a shadow of a doubt that addiction and mental illnesses know no bounds. Confirms those 3 C's too - We didn't cause it, can't control it and can't cure it.

I am so glad you are reaching out and attending meetings. Hope you can use those phone lists while you are snowed in...Hopefully you are out now...the sun is shining and roads are finally getting cleared at least where i am, so hopefully meetings will be back to normal soon. Stick around - there's lots of support and healing going on here!

outtolunch

During my daughter's teen years she was dual diagnosed X 10 by a wide assortment of medical professionals. She spent her teen years medicated with a huge assortment of drugs prescribed to and for her. I was told she would need to be medicated for the rest of her life and to apply for disability.

At 19, she found heroin. In her third stint in rehab, the out of pocket monthly cost for her prescription medications was in excess of $3000. Again, I was told to apply for disability for her. I did not. She relapsed with her DOC.

Prescription drugs were cut off. She got clean on her own.

At 21, she is clean/sober, unmedicated, functioning and employed.

I am skeptical of diagnosis/medications given to children and teens as it's challenging for any medical professional to understand where cognitive and emotional immaturity leave off and the issues begin.