Need to Vent or I'll go crazy-

Old 01-31-2010, 06:59 PM
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Need to Vent or I'll go crazy-

Yes, I'm a control freak. Type-A to a tee. I'm trying REALLY hard to let go and I just need to get out what hppened instead of doing what I really want to do and that is call my R/AH, call his parents or his PO.

He has decided he needs space because of my inability to change during his recovery. Fine I get that and our issues are about US not our little boy! He has been MIA the last 2 days during the biggest snowfall we've had in 2 decades. Today is his birthday and he showed up this afternoon. He played with our son a little and then we (baby and I) went across the street for a playdate. I cut it short because he said that his parents were having him over for a birthday celebration. When I got back from the playdate he said his parents were coming to our house instead. He says they know he isn't staying here anymore, but I have doubted it. This makes me wonder even more because if they knew he wasn't staying here why would they come here to celebrate his birthday and bring all his gifts to a house he isn't living in. When they got here I got even more of a vibe that they don't know because he was acting all normal, but it isn't my problem. I can't and won't try to control the situation. The whole time my husband was here it became clear to me that he is trying to teach me some sort of lesson. I said something about shoveling some snow and he said "yep, I'm not shoveling any snow this time around seeing as I NEVER do anything round the house. Guess you know what it feels like to have someone REALLY not do anything around the house." UGH! I had about a million things I wanted to throw back at him, but I bit my tongue.

Before my IL's got here I told my husband I wanted to go over to my parent's (they live next door) to run on the treadmill while they were here. He started to complain about how late I was going to be because of the roads getting icy. I told him I would be back at 7:15 at the latest. I was on the treadmill with 8 minutes left (the clock said 6:50) and I hear my son screaming crying. I jumped off the treadmill because I thought he was hurt or something and saw my mom closing the front door holding him crying huge crocodile tears and yelling "dada! where dada?" It broke my heart! My mom said R/AH had rang the door bell and shoved my son in her arms saying he needed to leave because the roads were getting bad. He didn't have a hat or gloves on and had him in a light weight coat. My mom said he didn't say bye or hug and kiss him. Just shoved him in the house! I couldn't believe that this man who claims he wants this child every other week would just throw him aside like he didn't have any feelings. I did call him and tried to be diplomatic by just asking if everything was ok with our son because he was crying pretty hard when he was dropped off. He said "he was fine when I left him." I couldn't control myself and told him that if he has an issue with me or our marriage he needs to put that aside when it involves the baby. He just said "whatever, he'll be fine." I hung up and fumed.

I'm proud of myself because I wanted to lay into him for doing this. In my head though I just can't stop thinking about it though. My son is only 22 months old and won't ever remember this, but the saddness in his voice and his eyes made me think about how this could just be the first of many disappointments this little guy will experience when it comes to interactions with his dad.

This is where detaching is so hard! I can deal with detaching myself from him, but with the baby it is so hard. He has the right to be in his son's life, but he doesn't have the right to hurt him! I want them to have a relationship, but I don't want him to do these kinds of things to an innocent child that does nothing but love unconditionally!
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Old 01-31-2010, 07:08 PM
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i'm soooo sorry that your son's father is a boob.

they say that they stop maturing when the addiction takes over. to "use" his own child like that.....yep, it guess it's true.

again, sorry
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