Insulated

The other day I was visiting a friend when another elderly retired couple arrived to "visit". Deal is more like it. I stepped outside and the elderly man and I began chatting. He noticed my car. My car has been hit with an addict stick. I don't know if any of you have endured physical damage to your personal property, but if you have, you'll know what I'm talking about. Two broken windshield, punctured tires, punched out windows, my newly etched hood remarkably mirroring the outline of a BMX bike with pegs, the footprint dent in the drivers door resulting in the window breaking. Yeah, the car is bad. So this elderly grey haired glassy eyed chap and I were chatting. He offered to take my car and fix the damages at his expense. In exchange for my complete discretion (he HAS a woman) and my phone number. All I have to do is come when he calls me. He will make it worth my while and I won't be disappointed.

I think to myself, okay, his "woman" heavy, balding is in there selling pills. 1) run girlfriend. get out!!! I get my keys. I realized this elderly man has no intention of EVER screwing up the relationship with his woman because she is his built in supply. This woman is standing not 10 feet from our conversation he is whispering to me. For a moment, No. Longer than a moment, I thought to myself, this would be my DAAF 30 years from now. This is what he did in his 30's and if he were alive, he'd still be doing it in his 60's! There is no end to it. I was really appalled because these two know my circumstance and frame of mind. How dare he!

I summoned the New Brunswick B**** in me and said to the man -
"I'm not impressed with being your beckon call girl in exchange for a coupla dents out of a 12 year old Buick."

teke

you know, stuff like that is now what keeps me away from my ah. its kind of sad, don't you think?

Insulated

It's sad but true. And in a way really helped me realize what addiction does to people and their scruples or lack thereof. Events like this nonsense, even though I find humor in it, reiterates to me that an application process is in order next time I'm thinking of a date. I feel so sad for this woman because he is betraying her right up under my nose. My best friend told me something far worse he proposed to her. And it's nearly verbatim what my DAAF said to another woman! It's like they have some kind of code they live and talk by.

ItsmeAlice

It's like a glimpse through a crystal ball and seeing the future for yourself.

When I look at my parents now in their 60s and their interpersonal dysfunction, I remind myself that these codependent traits can end with me if I let them. I don't have to spend half my time holding onto old resentments and the rest of my time making new ones. I don't have to do the expected thing and stay in a relationship that's unhealthy just because I've been in it so long already. I can do the unexpected and stop this insanity.

You were staring straight into the face of what would have been your future and you recoiled. That's a good thing! When we are deep into our dysfunction with an addict we don't recoil for some reason. It takes forever for us to have enough, and yet there you were faced with something oh so similar and you knew you wanted none of it from the first moment! Amen to that!!

Personal growth...meet happy and healthy.

BRAVO INSULATED!!!

Alice