Not sure if she's using again
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Join Date: Jan 2010
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Not sure if she's using again
Hello,
I found out last Saturday that my girlfriend was hooked on vicodin. She called me over to her home at midnight to tell me this, after telling her mother earlier in the night. I had no idea this was going on, and to be honest, I knew she was taking vicodin for her back problems but I never dreamed it was 15 pills a day.
Either way, the Friday before she told me and her mother, she took her last pill. That is, I think her last pill. Since telling me, I have researched this addiction to better understand it to be there for her through this. I'm aware of the mood swings and how people act after first taking the pills. (happy and gitty and bouncing around) Well for the first time in a week, this was her last night. (yesterday was payday for us)
I don't want to come out and ask her if she took some because maybe she was just in a really good mood. Before her breakdown telling her mother and I, She had been in such a crappy mood constantly that I actually thought we were about to break up. Either way, after I went to Al-Anon on Thursday, she asked me to come over and it was a very good, relaxing, intimate night. She didn't seem too overly excited, just loving. Last night was the same except she was bouncy.
She did eventually settle down after we put her daughter to bed and smoked a bit of weed. (I know, not good, but its helping her with the pain in her back and helping her to sleep. Kicking 1 habit at a time is easier) So, I don't know if it was the weed or her comming down.
This morning I got up and early for work and her purse was open on the table. She had a bottle of alegra (sp) in it which were long white pills. There were about 8 or so in the bottle. What do vicodin look like? I've never actually paid attention. How or should I even ask her? I want her to know that she can tell me. How can I even tell her that without making it sound like I'm expecting her to relapse? Thanks for your input.
I found out last Saturday that my girlfriend was hooked on vicodin. She called me over to her home at midnight to tell me this, after telling her mother earlier in the night. I had no idea this was going on, and to be honest, I knew she was taking vicodin for her back problems but I never dreamed it was 15 pills a day.
Either way, the Friday before she told me and her mother, she took her last pill. That is, I think her last pill. Since telling me, I have researched this addiction to better understand it to be there for her through this. I'm aware of the mood swings and how people act after first taking the pills. (happy and gitty and bouncing around) Well for the first time in a week, this was her last night. (yesterday was payday for us)
I don't want to come out and ask her if she took some because maybe she was just in a really good mood. Before her breakdown telling her mother and I, She had been in such a crappy mood constantly that I actually thought we were about to break up. Either way, after I went to Al-Anon on Thursday, she asked me to come over and it was a very good, relaxing, intimate night. She didn't seem too overly excited, just loving. Last night was the same except she was bouncy.
She did eventually settle down after we put her daughter to bed and smoked a bit of weed. (I know, not good, but its helping her with the pain in her back and helping her to sleep. Kicking 1 habit at a time is easier) So, I don't know if it was the weed or her comming down.
This morning I got up and early for work and her purse was open on the table. She had a bottle of alegra (sp) in it which were long white pills. There were about 8 or so in the bottle. What do vicodin look like? I've never actually paid attention. How or should I even ask her? I want her to know that she can tell me. How can I even tell her that without making it sound like I'm expecting her to relapse? Thanks for your input.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 512
The thing about pain pills is that ones tolerance become increased. Mine snorted 10 roxi at time! Eventually died from IV use (cold water extraction). Did she mention that she was interested in rehab? This would be a step in the right direction. You can look up the type of pills they are on identi pill on line. I did it and I'm glad I did.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
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This is the risk/fear of many who 'come clean' in admitting that they have a problem, especially to those they love who otherwise might never have known.
Since hearing of this, it certainly appears you're doing what you can to educate yourself about addiction in order to support her, including Al-Anon to support yourself. That's good.
Vicodin are white and oblong shaped. I have no idea what (alegra?) looks like. A simple google would display pics of either.
There's a fine line between support and suspicion, however.
Ask yourself: if she never told you about her addiction, would it ever occur to you to look inside the bottle of her open purse?
Al-Anon shows us that we have to be healthy despite what the substance abusers around us are doing.
It's easy to get caught up in the 'research' of addiction in the guise of support but at the expense of our emotional health which is just a fancy way of saying we're not sure how much we trust the other person anymore and now we're educated enough to prove it.
Please keep attending Al-Anon to discover how to best take care of yourself in supporting your girlfriend through this. Sometimes the suspicion becomes an addiction unto itself.
Take care.
Since hearing of this, it certainly appears you're doing what you can to educate yourself about addiction in order to support her, including Al-Anon to support yourself. That's good.
Vicodin are white and oblong shaped. I have no idea what (alegra?) looks like. A simple google would display pics of either.
There's a fine line between support and suspicion, however.
Ask yourself: if she never told you about her addiction, would it ever occur to you to look inside the bottle of her open purse?
Al-Anon shows us that we have to be healthy despite what the substance abusers around us are doing.
It's easy to get caught up in the 'research' of addiction in the guise of support but at the expense of our emotional health which is just a fancy way of saying we're not sure how much we trust the other person anymore and now we're educated enough to prove it.
Please keep attending Al-Anon to discover how to best take care of yourself in supporting your girlfriend through this. Sometimes the suspicion becomes an addiction unto itself.
Take care.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 6
Thats the thing. I still trust her. She came to me for help. She has no reason to lie to me about it. She came clean to me. I can in no way hold that against her because she reached out for help. She admits she has a problem. She cries to me about how they were ruining her life. She even said she wanted to come to the Al-Anon meeting until she found out it was a mens only meeting.
The only reason I even thought she might be was because of how bouncy she was acting. Hell she might have just been in a good mood but I'm not good enough at recognizing this to know the difference at this point.
I also don't really know her true personality. She has been using the whole time we've been together. Hell she was never even moody around me until the week before she decided she wanted to stop. I think the moodiness started because she had made that choice but with pills still in her purse, she couldn't until they were gone.
The true personality thing is honestly what scares me the most, but from what I read and what I've seen, it won't affect it too much. Hell if anything, the only difference so far is she is more sensual and open with me than before.
The only reason I even thought she might be was because of how bouncy she was acting. Hell she might have just been in a good mood but I'm not good enough at recognizing this to know the difference at this point.
I also don't really know her true personality. She has been using the whole time we've been together. Hell she was never even moody around me until the week before she decided she wanted to stop. I think the moodiness started because she had made that choice but with pills still in her purse, she couldn't until they were gone.
The true personality thing is honestly what scares me the most, but from what I read and what I've seen, it won't affect it too much. Hell if anything, the only difference so far is she is more sensual and open with me than before.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
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I can't imagine how she feels that good after such a short period of time. Detox is anywhere from 5-7 days and they're feeling pretty crappy for awhile after that from PAWS (post acute withdrawal syndrome).
That she admitted her addiction is a huge first step, but there are many more to follow. I know I'm addicted to nicotine and have quit several times, but when I quit again is entirely up to me. No one can make me take that next step and no one can make her, either.
You will have to decide what is acceptable in your life and go from there. Please continue going to Alanon. If I would have done that in the first place, I probably would have avoided a ton of heartache with my daughter and her addiction to opiates.
That she admitted her addiction is a huge first step, but there are many more to follow. I know I'm addicted to nicotine and have quit several times, but when I quit again is entirely up to me. No one can make me take that next step and no one can make her, either.
You will have to decide what is acceptable in your life and go from there. Please continue going to Alanon. If I would have done that in the first place, I probably would have avoided a ton of heartache with my daughter and her addiction to opiates.
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Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Buzz-free Zone
Posts: 1,372
There are physical and emotional adjustments in sobriety, especially in the early stages.
Her attending her own meetings (NA) and you attending yours (Al-Anon) is wise in my opinion.
There's lots of information on SR that's already been posted that may be helpful to you and the people here on SR are awesome too.
Her attending her own meetings (NA) and you attending yours (Al-Anon) is wise in my opinion.
There's lots of information on SR that's already been posted that may be helpful to you and the people here on SR are awesome too.
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 6
So its quite possible that on friday (7 days) she was feeling really good because it had been a week and she'll come down off that into the depression mode?
That's the one thing I haven't seen yet that everyone talks about. Then again, today is only day 8. Emotional high from being proud of herself followed by the fall again.
That's the one thing I haven't seen yet that everyone talks about. Then again, today is only day 8. Emotional high from being proud of herself followed by the fall again.
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
hi,
i don't know much about pill addictions but i am a ra and in my opinion, it don''t really matter what the drug of choice is, the end result is usually the same.
in the world of recovery, even weed would be considered active drug use, not a relapse. ANY mind altering drug will probably eventually lead back to the drug of choice.
my question is, if you knew she was back to using the pills, what would you do to? do you have boundaries with consequeces in place, just in case she is using? there is not much you can do to help her or make her stop but you can stop her addiction from effecting your life. keep the focus on you, watch her actions and not too much her words, time will tell you what you want to know.
btw, just because she told you once don't mean that she will always tell you. addicts will lie to protect their drug use if they are not serious about quitting. don't mean to cause doubt because there is always hope and i pray this is not the case with your gf.
i don't know much about pill addictions but i am a ra and in my opinion, it don''t really matter what the drug of choice is, the end result is usually the same.
in the world of recovery, even weed would be considered active drug use, not a relapse. ANY mind altering drug will probably eventually lead back to the drug of choice.
my question is, if you knew she was back to using the pills, what would you do to? do you have boundaries with consequeces in place, just in case she is using? there is not much you can do to help her or make her stop but you can stop her addiction from effecting your life. keep the focus on you, watch her actions and not too much her words, time will tell you what you want to know.
btw, just because she told you once don't mean that she will always tell you. addicts will lie to protect their drug use if they are not serious about quitting. don't mean to cause doubt because there is always hope and i pray this is not the case with your gf.
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Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by cynical one 
So, she quit cold turkey on a 15 pill a day Vic addiction yet no mention of severe withdrawals? Did she lay around with severe flu like symptoms, not being able to sleep, sweating, scratching the sheets, running to the potty, severe muscle spasms, not being able to lie still, not wanting to eat, moody, fragile?
This has been my experience with withdrawal from vicodins.
10 per day. Next day, (actually when the four hours was up) I was unable to function. I mean, I could not get out of bed.
I am a cynical one too.
Beth
Sorry, edited to add, take care of you Jlew35, it is all you can do.
work in progress
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
She has no reason to lie to me about it.
Have you ever heard "You're only as sick as your secrets?"
We have all been the "most loving, trustworthy, protective, understanding, compassionate, etc..etc...companions to our loved ones. Yet they still lied to us about their using. That's the world that active addicts live in. It's not that they have no reason to lie to us...they are just too busy lying to themselves. Denying they have a problem, and they have it "under control". Believe Me, if there were some secret behavior we could all exhibit to get them to "fess up" we would all be doing it!
I think it's great that she reached out to you like that...but I suspect your gut is telling you there is something not quite right.
Get to know your gut real well...it will never let you down.
The only thing you can do is let her work this out on her own while you get all the "tools" you need to help yourself in all this. Understanding you cannot change this for her...and embracing the First Step for yourself will be the most helpful thing in your life with this. So while you are researching Opiate addiction, try doing some research for yourself as well.
BTW...My AH's DOC is opiates (painkillers) and I have seen him detox many many times. It is painful and very sick making. Goes on for a good week...and it's not something they can hide, and certainly not easy to watch them go through. A lot of times the pain and sickness is so great, they end up using again to make it stop.
I have found pills in the past and Googled the numbers and letters on the pills to find out what hey were. It won't change anything except satisfying your curiosity though. As far as her kicking 1 drug at a time...I kind of chuckled at that notion...but that is her decision to make.
Glad you found SR.
Have you ever heard "You're only as sick as your secrets?"
We have all been the "most loving, trustworthy, protective, understanding, compassionate, etc..etc...companions to our loved ones. Yet they still lied to us about their using. That's the world that active addicts live in. It's not that they have no reason to lie to us...they are just too busy lying to themselves. Denying they have a problem, and they have it "under control". Believe Me, if there were some secret behavior we could all exhibit to get them to "fess up" we would all be doing it!
I think it's great that she reached out to you like that...but I suspect your gut is telling you there is something not quite right.
Get to know your gut real well...it will never let you down.
The only thing you can do is let her work this out on her own while you get all the "tools" you need to help yourself in all this. Understanding you cannot change this for her...and embracing the First Step for yourself will be the most helpful thing in your life with this. So while you are researching Opiate addiction, try doing some research for yourself as well.
BTW...My AH's DOC is opiates (painkillers) and I have seen him detox many many times. It is painful and very sick making. Goes on for a good week...and it's not something they can hide, and certainly not easy to watch them go through. A lot of times the pain and sickness is so great, they end up using again to make it stop.
I have found pills in the past and Googled the numbers and letters on the pills to find out what hey were. It won't change anything except satisfying your curiosity though. As far as her kicking 1 drug at a time...I kind of chuckled at that notion...but that is her decision to make.
Glad you found SR.
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: In a good place
Posts: 4,482
Originally Posted by Jlew35
So its quite possible that on friday (7 days) she was feeling really good because it had been a week and she'll come down off that into the depression mode?
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Originally Posted by Jlew35
I had no idea this was going on, and to be honest, I knew she was taking vicodin for her back problems but I never dreamed it was 15 pills a day.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Waterford MI
Posts: 4,202
Originally Posted by outtolunch
It's been my own experience that if someone admits to 15 a day, reality is usually substantially more and may involve other pain pills, too.
maybe twice as much.
it could be, and i only admitted to six a day when asked.
only my experience.
beth
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 6
Ok guys,
here's what I've noticed. The withdraw symptoms. They are still there. The twitching is quite noticeable when she's laying on me.
We had a good talk last night. I talked to her about PAWS and she knew what it was. I asked her how and she's found a site like this, perhaps even this one, that is helping her out. I did not want to know which site it was as that is her space and its not my place to invade it. We talked more and she went to the cabinet and pulled out anti-depressants and ambient, which is a sleeping pill. I don't remember the name of the anti-depressant, but I know what ambient is as I've taken them before myself. This explains the lack of depression and the lack of sleepness. Matter of fact she's starting to sleep better than she was on the drug with the help of the ambient. Her Doctor gave her these to help with the withdraw symptoms and I know thats true because her mother was with her when they were prescribed. She doesn't know that her mother and I are speaking and working together to help her more.
Trust my gut? Well right now, my gut is telling me she's still clean. I wasn't sure yesterday when I started this post and I only started it because I had a doubt. I know its hard to trust an addict, but I do. She may have been on more pills than 15 a day but in reality, that's irrelevant.
As far as the cold turkey, no it wasn't. She knew she wanted to stop and from what I understand she slowed down before taking her last pill. Thats also why I thought her and I were about to break up because of her moodiness and her lack of wanting to be around me. I dunno though.
I do have my limits and I don't want to be with a constant drug user. If she relapses, I'll be there to help her as long as she shows that desire to get rid of it. The day she has no desire to stop is the day that I leave. That is without a doubt, defined by actions.
here's what I've noticed. The withdraw symptoms. They are still there. The twitching is quite noticeable when she's laying on me.
We had a good talk last night. I talked to her about PAWS and she knew what it was. I asked her how and she's found a site like this, perhaps even this one, that is helping her out. I did not want to know which site it was as that is her space and its not my place to invade it. We talked more and she went to the cabinet and pulled out anti-depressants and ambient, which is a sleeping pill. I don't remember the name of the anti-depressant, but I know what ambient is as I've taken them before myself. This explains the lack of depression and the lack of sleepness. Matter of fact she's starting to sleep better than she was on the drug with the help of the ambient. Her Doctor gave her these to help with the withdraw symptoms and I know thats true because her mother was with her when they were prescribed. She doesn't know that her mother and I are speaking and working together to help her more.
Trust my gut? Well right now, my gut is telling me she's still clean. I wasn't sure yesterday when I started this post and I only started it because I had a doubt. I know its hard to trust an addict, but I do. She may have been on more pills than 15 a day but in reality, that's irrelevant.
As far as the cold turkey, no it wasn't. She knew she wanted to stop and from what I understand she slowed down before taking her last pill. Thats also why I thought her and I were about to break up because of her moodiness and her lack of wanting to be around me. I dunno though.
I do have my limits and I don't want to be with a constant drug user. If she relapses, I'll be there to help her as long as she shows that desire to get rid of it. The day she has no desire to stop is the day that I leave. That is without a doubt, defined by actions.
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