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Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: New Bedford MA
Posts: 3
New Here
Hi
I am new here i just found out the my husband is addicted to pain killers.. percoctes to be exact. I knew something was going on but i guess i was too scared to know the truth, well he told me yesterday about his 4month addiction and that he wants to get clean. I want to be supportive but i am soo mad I cant believe he would do this to our family, i am crushed. The worst part is i want to yell and scream and make him feel like crap i want to leave but i have to hide all these feeling because i want him to get clean. I cannot believe this is happening to me. We have seen so many of our friends become dependent on prescription pills why would he do this! I dont know what to do or where to turn. He wants to go cold turkey and stop on his own but i read that is dangerous and doesnt have a good sucess rate. I dont know what to do i feel like he made this decision to do drugs and now i have to pay the consequenses right along with him... im sorry for the vent im just so upset and i am too embarrased to talk to anyone i know about this.... any advice is welcome!
I am new here i just found out the my husband is addicted to pain killers.. percoctes to be exact. I knew something was going on but i guess i was too scared to know the truth, well he told me yesterday about his 4month addiction and that he wants to get clean. I want to be supportive but i am soo mad I cant believe he would do this to our family, i am crushed. The worst part is i want to yell and scream and make him feel like crap i want to leave but i have to hide all these feeling because i want him to get clean. I cannot believe this is happening to me. We have seen so many of our friends become dependent on prescription pills why would he do this! I dont know what to do or where to turn. He wants to go cold turkey and stop on his own but i read that is dangerous and doesnt have a good sucess rate. I dont know what to do i feel like he made this decision to do drugs and now i have to pay the consequenses right along with him... im sorry for the vent im just so upset and i am too embarrased to talk to anyone i know about this.... any advice is welcome!
Member
Join Date: Jan 2010
Posts: 6
Hello Pepper,
I really hate to welcome you to this club, The Loved One of an Addict.
It is OK to be angry but your anger will not help you or your addict. Myself, if he wants to quit, get him into treatment ASAP. Then you begin working on yourself ASAP, too. This is a family disease. Knowledge is power, read, work to understand, seek counsel from others through a support network, be it NarAnon or someting like that. Whatever fits in your environment and life.
Research credible information sources. An listen to others and apply their learning to your situation. Set healthy boundaries and be strong.
I really hate to welcome you to this club, The Loved One of an Addict.
It is OK to be angry but your anger will not help you or your addict. Myself, if he wants to quit, get him into treatment ASAP. Then you begin working on yourself ASAP, too. This is a family disease. Knowledge is power, read, work to understand, seek counsel from others through a support network, be it NarAnon or someting like that. Whatever fits in your environment and life.
Research credible information sources. An listen to others and apply their learning to your situation. Set healthy boundaries and be strong.
work in progress
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
Hi Pepper, and welcome. I am so glad you reached out here...this is such a helpful community of people who will help you.
My AH's DOC is opiates too, and I can tell you that "cold turkey" is not something he will get through easily. Sometimes the symptoms are so scary and painful, it can send them back to pills.
For him, the easy part will be the detox...the hard part will be walking the clean path and staying sober. Counseling is something he needs, and NA and AA meetings as well.
I suggest your husband checks himself into a rehab facility, and you get some help for yourself. Use the time that he's away to work on you and get some space between you.
All of the feelings you have are completely normal for someone in your situation. The good thing here is he wants help and is reaching out. The better thing is you want help and are reaching out too. Good for both of you. Now you both should keep that momentum going and get yourselves some help.
There is nothing you can do for him, he will have to find his own way through this. And you need some support for yourself. This is a family disease and all parties are deeply affected by the addiction. Try an NA or AA meeting and keep coming here. This is a very helpful place and the people here have guided me through some of my darkest days.
Read everything you can here...there will be lots and lots of people who will help you along your own way.
My AH's DOC is opiates too, and I can tell you that "cold turkey" is not something he will get through easily. Sometimes the symptoms are so scary and painful, it can send them back to pills.
For him, the easy part will be the detox...the hard part will be walking the clean path and staying sober. Counseling is something he needs, and NA and AA meetings as well.
I suggest your husband checks himself into a rehab facility, and you get some help for yourself. Use the time that he's away to work on you and get some space between you.
All of the feelings you have are completely normal for someone in your situation. The good thing here is he wants help and is reaching out. The better thing is you want help and are reaching out too. Good for both of you. Now you both should keep that momentum going and get yourselves some help.
There is nothing you can do for him, he will have to find his own way through this. And you need some support for yourself. This is a family disease and all parties are deeply affected by the addiction. Try an NA or AA meeting and keep coming here. This is a very helpful place and the people here have guided me through some of my darkest days.
Read everything you can here...there will be lots and lots of people who will help you along your own way.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,334
Please go to Alanon or Naranon and set some boundaries. Ask him to do 90 meetings in 90 days. But of course you cannot control any of it. The 1st step is that "you are powerless over drugs/husband and your life is unmanagable." He may need a medical detox. Just a little warning.....there is a saying here "how do you know when an addict is lying?"......when his lips are moving......watch his actions.....not what he says.......
Member
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Florida
Posts: 512
oh honey i'm sorry you are going through this. it hurts and the betrayal breeds a lot of the same grief emotions as a death. We here at SR are happy you made it here. It is a great forum and you'll see a lot of parallels in the stories of addicts and those that love them. I read your post and my being skeptical by experience think perhaps he is minimizing the length and volume of his addiction. Double it. Set some boundaries and limitations for yourself. Nurture yourself. I know is sounds like a broken record on here, but it is so true.
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