Addict parents of AH want to visit??
 

My AH has supposedly been clean for about 3 weeks now. He is seeing a councelor and I am attending naranon meetings. I would like some input about the current situation.

AH's parents are addicts and no where near recovery or admitting anything is wrong with what they do. They have been known to use drugs with AH. AH asked me today if his parents could come vist at the end of Feb.

I knew this was going to come up sooner or later and I had already been thinking about how I wanted to handle the situation. I do not personally want them in my house. I am not afraid of them stealing or anything like that. They are actually very nice, but addicts.

So I responded to my AH that I would like us to visit his councelor together to discuss his parents.

When we were talking about his parents he said you can drug test me while they are here I'm not going to do drugs. AH said my parents want to see their grandchild. I told him that we were dealing with alot right now and that I was uncomfortable with them using drugs in my house. AH's parents are perscribed drugs so they use that as an excuse.

I am unsure as to how to handle this situation. I want to avoid a fight with AH, but I don't think it's possible. I have always let his parents visit, but now I feel differently. I am hoping the councelor can help us deal with this.
Any advice would be appreciated! Thanks

Yes you are right sofacat. I know what I need to do and that is not let his parents come here. Maybe in the future when my AH gets more clean time under his belt. I guess this situation would be hard to handle even if my husband wasn't an addict.

I am ultimately hoping that with time my AH will come to realize exactly who his parents are and then be able to intelligently make a decision as to visitation arrangements. I don't know how this is all going to take place, but I'm sure it's going to be a bumpy ride.

Do you really owe his parents a visit with your child. I'm a grandmother of three, and my kids don't owe me a visitation. I love it when I'm invited, but certainly don't feel my children are obligated to let me see my grandchildren. If you are uncomfortable with the idea, trust your intuition and gut instinct. Could you set up a "virtual" visit instead? Whether or not your AH comes to realize who his parents are, and then intelligently make a decision is just wishing and hoping on your part. In the meantime, the clock is ticking away and time is running. Yes, it will be a bumpy ride and we at this forum will be your shock absorber. I don't feel that shielding your child from an addict is unreasonable. It's good parenting.