Hunny1116

My son called me yesterday and begged me to bring him some money. As I posted before, his electricity had been turned off and he claimed to have no money...."not even a dollar" to eat. He said he could get a ride to our house and would do some work around the house for money.

I told him that if he could get a ride to our house, he could get a ride to the Salvation Army or a homeless shelter to get something to eat. He was furious and said "f... you" and "stay the f... out of my life." I just hung up.

I almost posted last night. I was feeling so sad and grieving. Then I felt mad and angry at him and at the disease. Then I felt afraid that he would kill himself or me or my husband. Then I felt sorry for myself again for having such a terrible thing to go through in my life.

I couldn't get a post down because I was on this roller coaster of changing feelings and every time I would write something, my feelings would change.
The feelings still come and go, but that's it -- they come and go. I pray for him when I'm really afraid, but go on with my life. What a change...."thank you" to all of you.....

Hunny

cmhcali

So sorry hunny but you did the right thing especially if your friend is active. I have a good friend that has been clean over 2 years now out in California going to a great school and she once told me she had her mom give her money to turn the electricity on but she never had it turned on. She got high instead and the electricty stayed off.

Keep strong and pray. Allow yourself to go through the emotions they are ok you love your son and hate the disease. I get that.

I dont have children but have an active sister (DOC everything) on the streets and a bf that just relapsed and is coming back. I also have a brother and nephew whom are recovering heroin addicts. My brother has over a year so there is hope

teke

i'm sorry too hunny and i also think you did a loving thing for the both of you even though he may not realize it now, hopefully he will one day. i know when my family took that step back, eventually i got desperate to get my life in order, as i began to work on my recovery i began to appreciate their decision and began to realize that if they had kept bailing me out, i probably would be still using, in jail or dead. today i''m 7yrs clean and grateful to my family for stepping back, allowing me to fall and find my own way back up.

i agree, there is hope, just stay strong and try to keep the focus on you. you and your son are in my prayers.

greeteachday

(((((Hunny))))) The hardest part, to me, was saying no the first time. Once I did that and established my boundary that it was NOT okay to use or to be around being high, things started getting easier. Hugs

Impurrfect

(((Hunny))) - I know it must be really hard, but I agree with ((Teke)) - it took my family doing the same thing you are doing now, for me to find my path to recovery.

We addicts are VERY resourceful. We can find dope, we can find food, we can find a place to sleep. Some of us choose to live "on the streets" and spend every last cent on dope (I did, for quite a while...sneaking in vacant apartments to sleep). I made choices, and so is he....we NEED to live with the consequences of our choices..the good and the bad.

Big hugs and prayers!

Amy