Repost: Let Me Fall
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Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: the sunshine state
Posts: 623
Repost: Let Me Fall I read this awhile ago on here. Thought it might be helpful to re post it.
Let Me Fall.
If you love me let me fall all by myself.
Don't try to spread a net out to catch me.
Don't throw a pillow to cushion the pain so I don't have to feel it.
Don’t stand in the place I am going to land so that you can break the fall (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of me) ... Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the pit ... trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see it.
The sooner you stop saving me from myself,
stop rescuing me,
trying to fix me,
trying to understand me to a fault, enabling me ...
...The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and consequences,
the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not yours ... the sooner I will arrive ... and on time ... just right where I need to be ... me, alone, all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead ... resist the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square one ...
If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile ...
I am free to get sick of it on my own,
free to begin to want out,
free to look for a way out,
and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top.
In the beginning as I start to climb out .. I just might slide back down, but don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I make it out safe and sound ...
Don't you see ?? Don't you know ?? You can't do this for me ... I have to do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever suppose to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours ...
I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart not from knowledge of what is best for me ... but if you truly love me let me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good ... don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly ... Nudge me out of your safety net ... trust the process and pray for me ... that one day I will not only fly, but maybe even soar. ---Passion
Let Me Fall.
If you love me let me fall all by myself.
Don't try to spread a net out to catch me.
Don't throw a pillow to cushion the pain so I don't have to feel it.
Don’t stand in the place I am going to land so that you can break the fall (allowing yourself to get hurt instead of me) ... Let me fall as far down as my addiction is going to take me, let me walk the valley alone all by myself, let me reach the bottom of the pit ... trust that there is a bottom there somewhere even if you can't see it.
The sooner you stop saving me from myself,
stop rescuing me,
trying to fix me,
trying to understand me to a fault, enabling me ...
...The sooner you allow me to feel the loss and consequences,
the burden of my addiction on my shoulders and not yours ... the sooner I will arrive ... and on time ... just right where I need to be ... me, alone, all by myself in the rubble of the lifestyle I lead ... resist the urge to pull me out because that will only put me back at square one ...
If I am allowed to stay at the bottom and live there for awhile ...
I am free to get sick of it on my own,
free to begin to want out,
free to look for a way out,
and free to plan how I will climb back up to the top.
In the beginning as I start to climb out .. I just might slide back down, but don't worry I might have to hit bottom a couple more times before I make it out safe and sound ...
Don't you see ?? Don't you know ?? You can't do this for me ... I have to do it for myself, but if you are always breaking the fall how am I ever suppose to feel the pain that is part of the driving force to want to get well. It is my burden to carry, not yours ...
I know you love me and that you mean well and a lot of what you do is because you don't know what to do and you act from your heart not from knowledge of what is best for me ... but if you truly love me let me go my own way, make my own choices be they bad or good ... don't clip my wings before I can learn to fly ... Nudge me out of your safety net ... trust the process and pray for me ... that one day I will not only fly, but maybe even soar. ---Passion
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Join Date: Aug 2006
Location: limbo
Posts: 2,849
Sofa heres another good one............For the longest time I kept this taped to the mirror in my room
Are you wondering when the pain stops?
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The Pain Stops: when you stop looking at the person you love as the person you love, and you begin to see them, not as a partner, a lover, or a best friend, but as a human being with the strengths and weaknesses and even the core of a child.
The Pain Stops: when you begin to accept that what you would do in a circumstance is not what they would do, and that no matter how much you try, they have to learn their own lessons, and they have to touch the stove when it's hot, just as you did, to learn that it is much better when it is cold.
The Pain Stops: when your longing for them gets slowly replaced by a desire to get away, when making love to them no longer makes you feel cherished, when you find yourself tired of waiting for the moments where the good will truly outweigh the bad, and when at the end of the day you can't count on their arms for comfort.
The Pain Stops: when you start to look inward and decide whether their presence is a gift or a curse, and whether when you need them, they cause more heartache than bliss.
The Pain Stops: when you realize that you deserve more than they offer and stop blaming them for being less than you wish. When the smile of a stranger seems more inviting and kind, and you remember what it's like to feel beautiful, and you remember how long it has been since your lover whispered something in your ear that only the two of you would know.
The Pain Stops: when you forgive them for their faults and forgive yourself for staying so long. When you know that you tried harder than you ever tried before, and you know in your heart that love should not be so much work.
The Pain Stops: when you start to look in the mirror and like who you see, and know that leaving them or losing them is no reflection of your beauty or your worth.
The Pain Stops: when the promise of a new tomorrow is just enough to start replacing the emptiness in your heart, and you start dreaming again of who you used to be and who you will become.
The Pain Stops: when you say goodbye to what never really was, and accept that somewhere in the fog you may or may not have been loved back. And you promise yourself never again to lay in arms that don't know how to cherish the kindness in your heart.
The Pain Stops: When you are ready.
__________________
original post by: Nytepassion
Are you wondering when the pain stops?
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Pain Stops: when you stop looking at the person you love as the person you love, and you begin to see them, not as a partner, a lover, or a best friend, but as a human being with the strengths and weaknesses and even the core of a child.
The Pain Stops: when you begin to accept that what you would do in a circumstance is not what they would do, and that no matter how much you try, they have to learn their own lessons, and they have to touch the stove when it's hot, just as you did, to learn that it is much better when it is cold.
The Pain Stops: when your longing for them gets slowly replaced by a desire to get away, when making love to them no longer makes you feel cherished, when you find yourself tired of waiting for the moments where the good will truly outweigh the bad, and when at the end of the day you can't count on their arms for comfort.
The Pain Stops: when you start to look inward and decide whether their presence is a gift or a curse, and whether when you need them, they cause more heartache than bliss.
The Pain Stops: when you realize that you deserve more than they offer and stop blaming them for being less than you wish. When the smile of a stranger seems more inviting and kind, and you remember what it's like to feel beautiful, and you remember how long it has been since your lover whispered something in your ear that only the two of you would know.
The Pain Stops: when you forgive them for their faults and forgive yourself for staying so long. When you know that you tried harder than you ever tried before, and you know in your heart that love should not be so much work.
The Pain Stops: when you start to look in the mirror and like who you see, and know that leaving them or losing them is no reflection of your beauty or your worth.
The Pain Stops: when the promise of a new tomorrow is just enough to start replacing the emptiness in your heart, and you start dreaming again of who you used to be and who you will become.
The Pain Stops: when you say goodbye to what never really was, and accept that somewhere in the fog you may or may not have been loved back. And you promise yourself never again to lay in arms that don't know how to cherish the kindness in your heart.
The Pain Stops: When you are ready.
__________________
original post by: Nytepassion
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Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: canada
Posts: 20
I so needed that to remind me. The mind is a powerful tool; just need to believe in it and do the right thing. Thoughts are always popping in of the XBF and I can either dwell on them for a bit and then let them go.
It's tough, I know he is not good for me; however you want them and the feelings or urges gets so strong to call & have contact...that they over power. I have no contact with him at my end; he calls me every two weeks or so just to chat and check in. I look forward to hearing from him and knowing he is doing okay. I am fine for a day and then I feel sad again and miss him terribly.
He is in the States right now for another 3 months and came up for X-mas and I saw him and it was nice. We were strictly platonic...I kept to myself...even tho" I wanted so much to devour him. I knew it wouldn't be right and I would have felt really bad. I tested myself and I passed. We spent New Year's together and he did coke in front of me with his friend. I know he still does it...he even asked me if I wanted some...I said no. I felt terrible that he was doing it. But it was New Year's.
I am beside myself...why do I struggle with my thoughts of him and want him back so bad?
It's tough, I know he is not good for me; however you want them and the feelings or urges gets so strong to call & have contact...that they over power. I have no contact with him at my end; he calls me every two weeks or so just to chat and check in. I look forward to hearing from him and knowing he is doing okay. I am fine for a day and then I feel sad again and miss him terribly.
He is in the States right now for another 3 months and came up for X-mas and I saw him and it was nice. We were strictly platonic...I kept to myself...even tho" I wanted so much to devour him. I knew it wouldn't be right and I would have felt really bad. I tested myself and I passed. We spent New Year's together and he did coke in front of me with his friend. I know he still does it...he even asked me if I wanted some...I said no. I felt terrible that he was doing it. But it was New Year's.
I am beside myself...why do I struggle with my thoughts of him and want him back so bad?
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