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My Prayer

Old 01-22-2010, 07:32 AM
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Living in a Pinkful Place
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Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
My Prayer

I have often prayed this prayer ~ today it is so heavy on my heart

Dear God,
Please somehow, someway, someday let my decedants never feel the pain, hurt, sadness, fear, heartbreak, devastation, deceit, despair, and gut wrenching agony from this awful disease of alcoholism/addiction.


I know that I have taken steps to correct my wrong choices, my unhealthy behaviors, the so called sins of my past - but the consequences of those actions still live on today . . .

My daughters were deeply affected by life I use to live - it shows in how they live their lives today . . .

this in turn affects my grandchildren.

I know I gave the example of unhealthy choices, co-dependency, enabling, and all the wrong things for so many years.

I also know that I finally found the strength, courage and wisdom to walk away too.

Maybe They will look at too.

I can't make the choices for them, they each have to walk their own path - I must let them - My daughters can hear my actions, but not my words (as we know, loved ones are usually to close right?)

I step in when my grandchildren are at risk - I protect them. I ask her not to let the grandkids be exposed to this. Her comment - You let _______ (my exAH) do the same to us. (although I would love to disagree with her - I'm sure there is probably more truth in her statement that I would like to admit)

My response - "So you know how much it hurt you, why do you want to let your girls be hurt that way too? Please don't wait as long as I did"

She ignores my comment.

She is doing exactly what I raised her to do. . .

Again my Prayer . . .

Dear God,
Please somehow, someway, someday let my decedants never feel the pain, hurt, sadness, fear, heartbreak, devastation, deceit, despair, and gut wrenching agony from this awful disease of alcoholism/addiction.

And help me to keep caring the message of how to find help, healing and recovery - I know they won't hear my words, please give me the strength, courage and wisdom so they can hear my actions so that they may one day live Happy, Joyous and Free thru You.
Amen.

HUGS to all,
Rita
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