how to know when I have truly forgiven......
 

I for many years said that I forgave people and somehow thought that I had.

Recently I have been working on myself and some of the "hurts" in my life things I thought I had forgiven......

after alot of work I finally came to see that true forgivness (for me) finally removed the "pain" associated with the action or event

As I worked through the issues and events many were painful and dredged back up old pain, thoughts and insecurities but as I worked thru them I have finally reached a place where I can look at each of the events as just facts......things

but there is no longer any pain attached they are simply events

for me, the removal of the pain and finally being able to look at the issues and events and see them for what they were.....with no pain attached tells me that I have finally reached true forgivness in those areas.

I have also learned that I have to keep doing this daily, when I feel wronged I have to look at me what it is in me causing me the dicomfort from someone elses words or deeds........what in me causes the feelings I get.........then acknowledge the feeling which is all mine............and forgive the persons word or deed understanding its not about me.........my feelings are about me so I keep working on those
so I'm finding forgivness is a daily event and I'm getting much better with doing it

Just wanted to share............:)

With forgiveness comes peace. Peace in our own hearts. It is something that we all deserve. I'm so happy to hear that you are finding yours.

Hugs
B

good point cynical.......still working on that part:)

I thank ya'll for posting this. I'm working on my fourth step (through CR) and you more or less have to list your liabilities and assets (for lack of better words right now) and I'm afraid I'm going to do the same thing Anvil, miss something big and important - just like forgiving myself!

So thank you again for posting this and sharing about forgiveness. I worry that I'm going to believe I've forgiven only to later find out that I haven't - which will be a huge disappointment.