Quick Update Vent
 

So I have been doing ok. I even had a blast out with friends in the program when I suspected abf might be on something. Only person in bunch with small pupils. Why was ok because I am working on my, lots of prayer meditation and 10th step inventory. Going to write more today.

But I need to vent because I got another text from a friend in the program asking if Mike is ok he looks really thin. I dont want to air his business around AA as that is not fair so I just said he is ok probably stress about going overseas which it very well could be. I have no real idea is he is using. His DOC is heroin and I know it can go either way with weight either gain like my brother or loose like my nephew did when they were using.

Can others share what worked for your recovery during times of question? I am hitting an alanon meeting next saturday. I am going away this weekend.

As much as they may mean well, people who ask these kinds of questions are really irritating, yes?

When asked if he is okay, you might reply "He's the one you should be asking." or "I don't want to talk about that right now, but thanks for asking" or "As okay as he can be" and then change the subject.

You don't owe explanations for not wanting to talk about something.

Hope this helps a little.

Ann

I remember , when someone asked me about my son who was struggling... answering that he had some really important life lessons to learn and they weren't from me. I always told people that we appreciated the prayers and understanding during our difficult time and then I changed the subject.

I figured out pretty quickly who was asking because they genuinely cared and wanted to know if I needed anything, and who was asking because they fed on toxic drama.

Personally I am really struggling with this particular issue. I find that the not knowing is far worse than knowing even when it's not the news I would wish for.

The only thing that (so far) helps me when stuck in this mode, is focusing on what things I want to have in my life that are healthy. It's like in my mind I move forward regardless of him being in that picture or not. I have taken on some things (some new, some old) that help me to remember who I am. I am working on an identity that is the same whether he is or is not in those mental scenes.

Hope this made any kind of sense.....