MrsMagoo

I'm sorry. I don't understand how Callie's thread has run it's course when her life is spiraling out of control. Things keep changing moment by moment and she really needs her SR friends right now. We each take on certain roles on here. Some people are tough, which is needed. Others are compassionate, which is needed. It seems to be that she is REALLY all alone now and that scares me because there have been plenty of times that SR was all I had and the only thing that pulled me through the darkness into the light.

Just my opinion.

I'm pretty disappointed that she can't come on here and share the nightmare she is experiencing with her SR family.

suki44883

I agree. Surely she's allowed to start a new thread, don't you think?

cessy68

Um, I'll probably get stomped on here, but I kinda agree..... (treading lightly).

The ONLY reason I say this, is because I can also kinda see how some might feel it has run its course for THEM..... but they have a choice, they don't have to read her thread or respond to it if they feel they gave all they could, and they are done with it.

On the other hand, I guess that there are people in place who monitor this forum, and perhaps they know better than I. Maybe it just gets to a point where a conversation is 'unhealthy'? Not sure.

I hope she is well, and I do know, that sometimes this is the only place where I can 'get it out' as well.

Love,
Cess

liesagain

I also inquired as to the reason the thread had "run its course", still dont understand but its not for me to decide.

but of course Callie can start a new thread.....and I personally hope she does.
(((((((((Callie)))))))))))

NeedingHelp7

I only pray Callie didn't leave us forever now.

outtolunch

Theads are closed all the time, on the different forums, for similar reasons.

Closing a thread does not ban a poster. And I suspect the PM function works too. There are advantages to taking it off line, including privacy.

MrsMagoo

I was just wondering because the story kept unfolding, sometimes hour by hour and despite whether Callie was "doing the exact right thing" or not, her world was rapidly falling apart all around her. She is reeling and hurting and I hope she does start a new thread so she doesn't think her "friends" have pulled the rug out from under her.

At least for me, writing about things helps me process what is happening and I can look back and really SEE the insanity - then make the appropriate changes.

(((Callie)))

cassandra2

I would like to know where the post went..

Remember when alot of us came here to post and some of us were still in denial that drugs was THAT big of a deal. I know I was.

That post is a perfect example of what progressive addiction can sometimes lead to.

I was blown away by the things that her husband was continuing to do. Reality check.

I feel that we owe it to new people to allow them to read that post and see how fast people can do down the drain in active addiction.

I also want to say Callie I am thinking of you and praying for your whole family. I hope that your husband reaches his bottom and FINALLY gets serious about his recovery.

Hugs to you.

BayAreaPhoenix

A locked thread does not mean the person who started that thread is locked out. I've had threads locked on me, especially when I first came here. For different reasons - usually in my case, it was that I was asking for things I now know were inappropriate. That was OK, even if I didn't understand at the time, I never felt like I was locked out and it didn't keep me from posting or starting a thread - I'm sure that Callie will understand the same.

(((MM)))

cece1960

Its still there, just down a bit because others have posted threads.

Momsrainbow

I agree with Mrs. M. She may have received the same advice time and time again. But Callie was/is in a serious crisis and needs moral support. Right now she may feel like this is the only place she can bare her soul. An outlet for all the stress she is going through. Things kept changing, daily. Are we not supposed to be there for support as well as ideas/suggestions and others past experiences?

I am sure we all were learning how bad addiction can get, for those who do not realize it yet.

I hope someone hears from her soon.

Keeping her in my prayers!!!!!!!!!!!!

Chino

I've seen threads closed in the substance abuse forum, when someone isn't ready for recovery and resisting all the input they've asked for.

A while back I asked my therapist how to handle meetings and members, when they keep repeating themselves, deny they have a problem, or don't want help. He told me a story about an alcoholic in denial at an AA meeting, and how someone finally told the guy "you're not ready to receive the help we can give but we'll still be here when you are."

That's pretty much how I see it.

coffeedrinker

I have always agreed with your perspective, Chino, but I would like to respectfully disagree with with the idea that Callie was not ready for the help that was offered. I have not read every single thing she has submitted, but I did think that changes in her thinking and actions were slowly being made, and that she was being led, and educated, by this group.

I most definitely hope that she was not left, or feels abandoned, as she knows that many people here care for, and are rooting for, her. And also, the way I saw the closing of the thread, was just that: closing this particular thread, hoping to shut down the repetitive dialogue, but not ever that SHE was being shut out.

greeteachday

When I go to meetings and a person is in crisis, the person shares and then others share their own experience, strength and hope. There is no "cross talk," no telling, no ongoing advice. Those type of things are saved for after the meeting...for discussions in private with other members or the sponsor. And there are reasons for that...Reason like it is too easy to get sucked into the drama, since many of us eventually accepted drama as normal and therefore comfortable, when we had to deal with active addiction....It's too easy to get so involved with the crisis and the newcomers waiting to the side are ignored. As a group, we try to welcome all and give everyone a chance to share...we never know what the person not given a chance to speak has going on in his or her life...

That doesn't mean that the person in crisis can no longer share...just that the share was communicated, the experience shared, and it is time for others to also have some time to be heard and for the person in crisis to take the experience he or she has heard and contemplate how it can be applied in this particular situation.

Moderators make decisions for the common good. They volunteer their time to make SR a safe place for everyone; and to welcome all in pain and seeking experience, strength and hope. I suspect that some of the same reasons for the way meetings are structured are contemplated when decisions are made to close a thread. Closing a thread isn't a punishment, or telling a poster they can not post any longer...It is simply a way to keep the community healthy and safe for all. And so we take that chance to look at ourselves and think what can we do next to promote our recoveries...to move forward.

Thanks to all our members here who care so much...and for all the greeters and mods who make SR a safe place for everyone

Chino

greet, thank you for saying it straight. I knew at the time I was getting sucked in, but damn if I didn't roll with it. Back to the drawing board for me!

Something else I was thinking is that at some point a fine line gets crossed, where it becomes a control issue for either party. If a person isn't ready and others are nudging, they may dig their heels in even more. The more they dig in, the nudges might become hard shoves. The cycle begins. Somebody has to stop it and that's what I meant in my other post.

Thank you for looking out for all of us.

serenityqueen

First of all, I posted several replies to the thread we're talking about. My heart goes out to Callie, but I know I kept coming on here, repeating myself over and over again and I have to be honest about something. As much as I care about Callie, I did begin to get a little too wrapped up in her situation. I found myself worrying about her when worrying about any situation, even ones of my own, is an old behavior for me. I used to worry about everything! And then soon, worrying became obsessions. It's taken me a long time to realize that worrying about something gets me absolutely no where, but stressed. My philosophy, if you will, is that God isn't sitting there with a stop watch, keeping track of how much time I spend worrying about something and then when I worry the appropriate amt of time, He'll fix the situation for me. I hope that makes sense, but that's something that I have convinced myself of so I don't worry. I need to do what I can in a situation, then give it to God.

I feel that we can send our love to someone, offer our support, share suggestions or similar experiences that we've had and maybe offer our personal email for private communication. But there comes a point where we can just keep repeating ourselves.

I am Praying for Callie, keeping her in my thoughts and I certainly hope that she comes on here soon to let us know that she's ok. She is cared for by many people on here who are also concerned about her.

Thanks for letting me share my thoughts on this.

Judy

NeedingHelp7

If the mod's wanted her to start a new thread that could have been done for her (I've seen this done before) and explaining the reason for that being done. If things would have been done that way, this may not have happened. I do understand that a thread can become counter-productive in that things shared shouldn't have been, such as police info, and that is it!!! She could have been pm'd to be a little more discreet about that, I know because her AH found her here on this site last week or so and he read. I was afraid he would see this kind of info, and I pm'd her about that.

Other than that....She wasn't just sharing drama, she was in CRISIS, some of the worst CRISIS I've seen on here.... and to be treated like that!!!!..... We have been here with Callie for 1 1/2 years and she is treated like this.
How would you feel? This was the only support group she had ever known!!!!!
I believe she was doing the best she could in a horrible situation.

And..... In the state she lives in, she's right, there is not much police support or court support. I read the laws in her state. They differ much from my state. It's easy to get an OOP here, in her state it's close to impossible. I understood her fears, she is only trying to survive. It's not her fault!!! She didn't cause it, she couldn't control it, and she couldn't cure it!!!!

I come here daily to keep me on track and so did she many, many days.

I don't think Callie is coming back or she would have been back.
We most likely will never know how she and her children are doing.....

MrsMagoo

I'll call her and see if she is okay and if she doesn't object, I'll let everyone here know.

sofacat

Have faith in Callie,

I believe she will reach out when she needs to. I believe that just because her Thread was closed, she does not feel we are not here for her...she knows that.

She is going through a lot right now and needs some time to sort out what just happened for herself and her children.

Sometimes we need to get off the "net" and start making things happen.

I do not feel there are any coincidences, and we are all exactly where we are supposed to be.

We will hear from her when she is ready, I have faith in that...and her New Thread will begin.

NeedingHelp7

When she needs to........she was reaching out with her whole heart..... in Crisis mode. Then the plug pulled on her thread because of the "unmet expectations" of others.... I suppose.


I don't think so, but we'll see.