"Ran it's course?"
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
One of the worst crises I ever experienced in my life is when my then 15 year old daughter ran away in the middle of the night with a 24 year old predator.
I had gotten up about 4 in the morning, and went to check on her as had become my habit since she had a propensity for sneaking out in the middle of the night to party with friends.
I found an empty bed, and a note that said she loved me, and was sorry for everything she had done. That was the extent of the note.
I was hysterical because I thought it was a suicide note. I had no idea her older AS had picked her up along with the 24 year old while I was sleeping.
She was missing for 5 days. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. It was beyond description.
Thank God for the support system I had locally. My sponsor was my rock of Gibraltar. He and his wife were there when I was sobbing uncontrollably, fear running every thought in my head.
I drug myself to meetings in spite of the fear in my head and the pain in my heart. People hugged me and listened. They guided me through one of the darkest times in my life.
Did I use the internet? Certainly. I was in contact with the Center for Missing & Exploited Children. I sent them a recent picture of her and a description, and kept them updated on the situation. They did what they could do for me in that situation. I posted on every forum that I frequented at the time and got the word out that she was missing.
For me, I thank God I first got into recovery before the internet was even widely available to the public. I was introduced to support groups and the friendship of folks I never dreamed were out there to help me in my journey.
For me, there is no comparison to the warmth and love of another in recovery, face to face with me.
I think the internet is a wonderful tool for communication in many ways. I have met people who have enriched my life, whom I never probably would have met otherwise.
However, I also feel that the internet can keep one isolated, from reaching out in real life to other human beings who share the same journey, who can support and lift us up, hold us when we cry, and smile with us in joy.
Today I am incredibly grateful to my sponsor and those in my support groups who held me up when all I wanted to do was crumble into a heap of broken pieces when my daughter disappeared. They were the ones who took my phone calls in the middle of the night, handed me the box of kleenex when I was sobbing at a meeting, and hugged me when she turned herself in, and I knew she was safe.
I had gotten up about 4 in the morning, and went to check on her as had become my habit since she had a propensity for sneaking out in the middle of the night to party with friends.
I found an empty bed, and a note that said she loved me, and was sorry for everything she had done. That was the extent of the note.
I was hysterical because I thought it was a suicide note. I had no idea her older AS had picked her up along with the 24 year old while I was sleeping.
She was missing for 5 days. I couldn't eat. I couldn't sleep. It was beyond description.
Thank God for the support system I had locally. My sponsor was my rock of Gibraltar. He and his wife were there when I was sobbing uncontrollably, fear running every thought in my head.
I drug myself to meetings in spite of the fear in my head and the pain in my heart. People hugged me and listened. They guided me through one of the darkest times in my life.
Did I use the internet? Certainly. I was in contact with the Center for Missing & Exploited Children. I sent them a recent picture of her and a description, and kept them updated on the situation. They did what they could do for me in that situation. I posted on every forum that I frequented at the time and got the word out that she was missing.
For me, I thank God I first got into recovery before the internet was even widely available to the public. I was introduced to support groups and the friendship of folks I never dreamed were out there to help me in my journey.
For me, there is no comparison to the warmth and love of another in recovery, face to face with me.
I think the internet is a wonderful tool for communication in many ways. I have met people who have enriched my life, whom I never probably would have met otherwise.
However, I also feel that the internet can keep one isolated, from reaching out in real life to other human beings who share the same journey, who can support and lift us up, hold us when we cry, and smile with us in joy.
Today I am incredibly grateful to my sponsor and those in my support groups who held me up when all I wanted to do was crumble into a heap of broken pieces when my daughter disappeared. They were the ones who took my phone calls in the middle of the night, handed me the box of kleenex when I was sobbing at a meeting, and hugged me when she turned herself in, and I knew she was safe.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Wilmington, NC
Posts: 932
Oh boy do I agree but unfortunately, Callie never did that (meetings/sponsor, etc.). I know she has alot of friends and family but besides her mom and dad...I know she has a lot of friends but I don't know if they are those kinds of friends.
I called the number I have for Callie but it's not in service. Perhaps an old number. I will call Judy and see what number she called her on the other day.
I called the number I have for Callie but it's not in service. Perhaps an old number. I will call Judy and see what number she called her on the other day.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,054
If I remember right, face-to-face meetings weren't closely available for Callie. This was her meeting every day!!!!
Having to run a household, a full time job, twins, their activities, homework, etc...
believe me I understand her schedule. In the midst of all that she still came here.
Having to run a household, a full time job, twins, their activities, homework, etc...
believe me I understand her schedule. In the midst of all that she still came here.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by MrsMagoo 
Oh boy do I agree but unfortunately, Callie never did that (meetings/sponsor, etc.).
My sponsor told me long ago that there are consequences for everything we do, and that is so true.
If I stray from my recovery and start making decisions based on self-will, I'm going to end up with a mess.
If I pay my electric bill on time, I get to have electricity in my house!
If I attend my meetings regularly and do what is suggested of me, I tend to feel stronger and more level-headed in my day-to-day life.
Several years ago I ended up having to go to court because I had finally gotten stopped for driving around with expired tags. They had been expired for over a year!
I knew when registration/taxes came due for the car. Yet I chose to procrastinate over and over on getting it done, and next thing you know, there I am in court. It had snowballed into that end result.
It was humiliating, embarrassing. It really was such a simple thing to be done, yet I had chosen not to take care of it in a timely fashion.
It was a matter of priorities, and my choice to put that at the bottom of the priority list had negative consequences for me.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: minneapolis, mn
Posts: 2,762
Originally Posted by Freedom1990
For me, there is no comparison to the warmth and love of another in recovery, face to face with me.
I think the internet is a wonderful tool for communication in many ways. I have met people who have enriched my life, whom I never probably would have met otherwise.
However, I also feel that the internet can keep one isolated, from reaching out in real life to other human beings who share the same journey, who can support and lift us up, hold us when we cry, and smile with us in joy.
I think the internet is a wonderful tool for communication in many ways. I have met people who have enriched my life, whom I never probably would have met otherwise.
However, I also feel that the internet can keep one isolated, from reaching out in real life to other human beings who share the same journey, who can support and lift us up, hold us when we cry, and smile with us in joy.
ms. magoo, thank you for your attempts to reach her! i suspect she may be reading the forum via the guest route. if so, she surely knows the intention of the moderator, and that scores of people are holding their collective breath for her and her family.
also, can i just remind that it was hinted at that that particular thread would be closed, as repeating was going on a lot.
callie, please repost if you are able - under a new name if you desire more anonymity. or just let magoo or s.queen know you if you are ok or not
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,054
Callie, if you are reading here, Love ya girl. The Lord bless you and keep you and the children in His loving safety and care. His will be done with your AH too. You've done the best you can. I know you had some hope for AH, I did for mine too. It's a slippery slope, for some worse than others. I'm sorry you have had to endure so much. You didn't cause it!!!!!!!
Sent with Love,
NH7
Sent with Love,
NH7
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
i'm sorry but i have to agree with sofa, have faith in callie.
she's been here for awhile now and i believe and pray that she knows that we are here for her and that she can always come back and start another thread about the exact same thing if she wants to.
callie, let us know how you are doing. you are in my prayers.
she's been here for awhile now and i believe and pray that she knows that we are here for her and that she can always come back and start another thread about the exact same thing if she wants to.
callie, let us know how you are doing. you are in my prayers.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
There is a rule against posting to question the action of any moderator here, it reads as follows:
12. Do not disrespect forum leaders, moderators, forum greeters, and chat chairs. Be respectful in both the forums, chat, and any private communications. These members are volunteers that donate many, many hours of their own time to help in the forums and chat rooms. Violations of this rule will not be tolerated.
If you see a problem report it to us immediately and let us review the problem and take the appropriate actions.
If you feel that a decision has been made arbitrarily you may contact an Administrator privately for clarification. It is against the forum rules to ignore private messages from Forum leaders or Administrators. Publicly denouncing the actions of one of our volunteers can lead to having your membership permanently revoked.
Each member accepted the rules when they joined.
That said, we allowed this thread to run anyway, and it was explained clearly why Callie’s thread was closed. Callie is welcome to post here and to discuss her problems, just as any member is. She is welcome to update us and receive support. However, any thread that runs 5 pages and almost 300 posts with people saying the same thing over and over is not supportive to a member because it encourages the member to remain here instead of seeking real world help they need.
We are here to offer our own experience, strength and hope, to share our recovery or find some. We cannot “save” anyone, there are support lines and help outside of here with professionals who can help in a safe and knowledgeable way.
Callie can find help at live meetings, by calling a woman’s shelter (you don’t have to go there to get good advice, they can help by phone), by family who may be able to protect her or give her a safe place to stay, or by the police. And she can post here, closing a thread is done when the thread has run its course and becomes repetitive, or when it becomes a bickering ground or offensive. Callie’s had simply run its course for reasons explained.
That said, this thread is being closed as it is breaking the rule stated above, any further questions should be sent to the Administrators here for discussion privately.
The moderators and administrators here are all unpaid volunteers who work hard to keep this site focused on recovery, safe for everyone, and a place where a newcomer can come and feel welcome.
Let’s go welcome the next newcomer who walks in the door. Like in meetings, they are the most important people here .
This thread is now closed.
12. Do not disrespect forum leaders, moderators, forum greeters, and chat chairs. Be respectful in both the forums, chat, and any private communications. These members are volunteers that donate many, many hours of their own time to help in the forums and chat rooms. Violations of this rule will not be tolerated.
If you see a problem report it to us immediately and let us review the problem and take the appropriate actions.
If you feel that a decision has been made arbitrarily you may contact an Administrator privately for clarification. It is against the forum rules to ignore private messages from Forum leaders or Administrators. Publicly denouncing the actions of one of our volunteers can lead to having your membership permanently revoked.
Each member accepted the rules when they joined.
That said, we allowed this thread to run anyway, and it was explained clearly why Callie’s thread was closed. Callie is welcome to post here and to discuss her problems, just as any member is. She is welcome to update us and receive support. However, any thread that runs 5 pages and almost 300 posts with people saying the same thing over and over is not supportive to a member because it encourages the member to remain here instead of seeking real world help they need.
We are here to offer our own experience, strength and hope, to share our recovery or find some. We cannot “save” anyone, there are support lines and help outside of here with professionals who can help in a safe and knowledgeable way.
Callie can find help at live meetings, by calling a woman’s shelter (you don’t have to go there to get good advice, they can help by phone), by family who may be able to protect her or give her a safe place to stay, or by the police. And she can post here, closing a thread is done when the thread has run its course and becomes repetitive, or when it becomes a bickering ground or offensive. Callie’s had simply run its course for reasons explained.
That said, this thread is being closed as it is breaking the rule stated above, any further questions should be sent to the Administrators here for discussion privately.
The moderators and administrators here are all unpaid volunteers who work hard to keep this site focused on recovery, safe for everyone, and a place where a newcomer can come and feel welcome.
Let’s go welcome the next newcomer who walks in the door. Like in meetings, they are the most important people here .
This thread is now closed.
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