enlightenment

Today I woke up smiling and exited. Purely to come and read all the new posts; and I'm OK with that right now. It's kind of like everyone has open arms and it's good to hear someone else say "It will get better" "not easier but better". That's enough for me today.

I thought a lot last night about my choices. I think I forgot that I had any. My husband just got out of his second try at rehab about 3 weeks ago. While he was there I was lucky enough to be able to participate in what they call Family Week. Parents and wives spend a week at the Hazelden campus taking classes and from what they told us going through the same thing our loved one was going through minus the detox of course. Well, actually in a way I felt like I was detoxing...from him. While I was there they taught us that it is necessary for us to set boundaries and make decisions for ourselves and NOT for our spouse. It's hard to not take him into consideration, but I know I need to take care of myself and decide what is or is not best for myself and daughter.

I have a lot to think about.

What makes me happy?
What do I need to do to be happy?
What do I need to get rid of?
What am I afraid of and how can I overcome it?
What will be best for my daughter?
What the hell do I want?

I have homework to do.... I think I will think about all this today and update tonight.

enlightenment

P.S. my avatar is a perfect depiction of me. I feel like I'm holding this bomb with no idea how to diffuse it... I'm waiting for it to blow up.

sofacat

Seems like you are headed in a positive direction for yourself and your daughter.

Keep up the good work!
Please let us know how you're doing. ((( hugs )))

Spiritual Seeker

You get the gist of it...He alone must focus on his recvovery (Part one)

You simply live and let live for' now while focusing on your recovery (remember the whole family is or gets sick with addiction ) Take it day by day.

Working the program and steps on alanon with a sponsor can change your life. (PART TWO !!!!! )
It has made me so much more than able to "handle" the addict in my life.
I am emotionally healthy for the first time, I am a way way better spouse and mother, friend, co-worker, etc etc etc.

Jump in with both feet and be the BEST that you can be.
Cause that is what you have control over and where your focus can be of service in your own life and be beneficial to others.

Leave the rest of the universe to the HigherPower of your understanding.
Leave your husband's stuff to him... Your change, your reaction is what will make the difference.