Whew, court is over.
Formerly known as soconfused11
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Colon, MI
Posts: 410
Whew, court is over.
I can finally breathe. Now I am left just still feeling so bad for him ~ I really still love this man, I care what happens to him.
I was so very scared, anxious...mostly about seeing him. I called the domestic assault shelter, and they sent an advocate to go to court with me, so I had her support as well as the victim's advocate that works at the courthouse. I had to tell my story and answer any questions the prosecutor had, as well as take questions from his attorney. It was hard not to feel attacked when his attorney came after me ~ but the prosecutor told me to keep telling myself "I am not the one on trial". I started to break down twice, but I stayed strong, and followed through. I never made eye contact with him, I kept my eye on the prosecutor/his attorney. I looked at him twice, when I could see out of the corner of my eye he wasn't looking. It makes me sad to see him that way...I just want to grab him and say "wake UP!". It would do no good anyway.
It felt very good yesterday, to be surrounded by other adults who are "normal", in that they validated me...let me know I was doing the right thing, and that none of it was my fault. They all just said and did the right things to help me through that.
His attorney called his mom and his friend Adam (his user friend) as a witness ~ funny they weren't even there. His mom lied for him, she told them there was no gun in the house. It amazes me she will do ANYTHING to cover for him...his whole family will. His younger sister approached me at our gas station yesterday morning and told me there is no way she believes her brother would pull a gun on himself...I told her I really didn't care if they believed me or not...it happened. But had you asked me a year ago if I was afraid Chris would ever pull a gun on himself, my answer would be no way.
The judge believed my testimony, so this case has been "bound over" to a higher court. They denied his motion for a bond reduction.
I picked up paperwork, and have decided to get a PPO. I am going to start attending support groups, and work one on one with an advocate...they offer these services for free.
I saw my therapist last night (I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks), so I had an earful for her. She is really helping me work on some of my issues.
Thank you all for your support ~ yesterday morning before court I logged on and reread every single response ~ all of you here at SR really came through for me, and I am so grateful.
I was so very scared, anxious...mostly about seeing him. I called the domestic assault shelter, and they sent an advocate to go to court with me, so I had her support as well as the victim's advocate that works at the courthouse. I had to tell my story and answer any questions the prosecutor had, as well as take questions from his attorney. It was hard not to feel attacked when his attorney came after me ~ but the prosecutor told me to keep telling myself "I am not the one on trial". I started to break down twice, but I stayed strong, and followed through. I never made eye contact with him, I kept my eye on the prosecutor/his attorney. I looked at him twice, when I could see out of the corner of my eye he wasn't looking. It makes me sad to see him that way...I just want to grab him and say "wake UP!". It would do no good anyway.
It felt very good yesterday, to be surrounded by other adults who are "normal", in that they validated me...let me know I was doing the right thing, and that none of it was my fault. They all just said and did the right things to help me through that.
His attorney called his mom and his friend Adam (his user friend) as a witness ~ funny they weren't even there. His mom lied for him, she told them there was no gun in the house. It amazes me she will do ANYTHING to cover for him...his whole family will. His younger sister approached me at our gas station yesterday morning and told me there is no way she believes her brother would pull a gun on himself...I told her I really didn't care if they believed me or not...it happened. But had you asked me a year ago if I was afraid Chris would ever pull a gun on himself, my answer would be no way.
The judge believed my testimony, so this case has been "bound over" to a higher court. They denied his motion for a bond reduction.
I picked up paperwork, and have decided to get a PPO. I am going to start attending support groups, and work one on one with an advocate...they offer these services for free.
I saw my therapist last night (I hadn't seen her in 2 weeks), so I had an earful for her. She is really helping me work on some of my issues.
Thank you all for your support ~ yesterday morning before court I logged on and reread every single response ~ all of you here at SR really came through for me, and I am so grateful.
Belgian Sheepdog Adictee
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: In Today
Posts: 6,101
I am very glad you got through this!!!!!
I believe the PPO is an EXCELLENT idea.
You can feel bad for him, however, the intensity of it as time passes will change, at least it did for me, as I came to realize that this was all the A's doing. Their choice to 'act out' in violent ways, their choice to continue to use, so they have to face their consequences. It took a lot for me to realize I could not save my A, that the only one I could 'save' was me.
Looks like you are on your way to saving you. What a great start!!!!!
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much. You know we are walking with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,
I believe the PPO is an EXCELLENT idea.
You can feel bad for him, however, the intensity of it as time passes will change, at least it did for me, as I came to realize that this was all the A's doing. Their choice to 'act out' in violent ways, their choice to continue to use, so they have to face their consequences. It took a lot for me to realize I could not save my A, that the only one I could 'save' was me.
Looks like you are on your way to saving you. What a great start!!!!!
Please keep posting and let us know how you are doing as we do care very much. You know we are walking with you in spirit.
Love and hugs,
Member
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: far left of center
Posts: 237
you go girl!
Wow! Great news! I am glad you found the strength to do what you knew was right! Believe me I know how hard that can be at times.
The best thing is you have real experience strength and hope to share with another who may find themselves in the same position.
Get out to al-anon! Reach out to the next woman you meet who finds themselves in the same place you were just a few days ago. This is how we recover...
Admit our fears. Face them. And then help another do the same.
Peace!
BasIam
The best thing is you have real experience strength and hope to share with another who may find themselves in the same position.
Get out to al-anon! Reach out to the next woman you meet who finds themselves in the same place you were just a few days ago. This is how we recover...
Admit our fears. Face them. And then help another do the same.
Peace!
BasIam
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
I'm proud of the strength you are showing as you get through this. I pray that whatever happens in court will get him on the path to seek recovery. No matter what, you'll be ok!! Stay strong! You are doing all the right things.
(((HUGS)))
(((HUGS)))
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