Hurtbad2505

feeling kind of like I'm talking to myself...but this is all I have right now.

I am having a hard time wrapping my mind around the fact that not even a week ago I was living here with a son that was a joy to be around. A friend...We went out last Wed as a family to hear a band. Tonight I am sitting here with what looks to be a well' used syringe in front of me...why are there little rubber bands wrapped around the orange protective part and around the top where you hold it to push it in. WHY DO I CARE!???

teke

i am so sorry to hear about this, i pray that you can remain calm and do what you know you need to do for yourself. i'm here shaking my head in awe, not knowing what else to say but i'm just so sorry. i know this has to be painful but what can you do but let go and let god. hopefully he'll find his way soon.

Hurtbad2505

Oh..and he has Hep C..found that out when he went to take the physical for his job..He didn't have it 1 1/2 years ago when he started treatment at the clinic. Must have been the crack ***** he spent last Christmas with...you know..the last year I had Christmas with my Dad who died in March..Yeah, I spent that Christmas watching him wander around in a haze and stole my nephew's friends Xanax out of her purse. I want so bad to love Christmas because I do love Christ so much...but I just can't ... Between AS's antics and my Husbands and brothers past 'Christmas drama" from alcohol...I just can't enjoy it anymore...I would like to just hole up alone till it's over...

liesagain

hello you still here?

Hurtbad2505

I'm still here...thought I was talking to myself..lol

liesagain

hurt............I am so sorry your going thru this

I wanted to mention a few things............one is that you cant make him stop using only he can do that..........but time is important and his life is important the job.......not so much

My honest opinion is you may not want to wait till the first of the year or the outcome of the job...........actually a job at the hospital is the last thing he needs right now...............
addiction knows no limits and your son could end up with big trouble if he attempts to steal meds at work...........
I dont know if he works with patients or not but hes a risk to himself and others

It hurts to see the clean person back then watch them slip away so fast but you must take care of you........be careful with the syringe that you dont accidentially poke yourself..........

Hurtbad2505

I just don't know who else to talk to...my husband was soooo very proud of AS for the things he has managed to accomplish...AS job pays more than my H's! It breaks my heart to think I am going to have to show him this ******* syringe...

liesagain

my son is 18, not an addict( my husband is)
but he has a friend who died in oct from methadone and xanax overdose

liesagain

your son could die..........you cant make hin go to get help but you and your husband dont have to watch him self destruct either

Hurtbad2505

Thank you for talking to me. He doesn't have access to meds at his job, he is a CT tech..but plenty of access to needles and yes he works with patients. I am leaving the job situation in his HP's hands for the moment. Do you think I should tell him to be out the first of the year regardless of what happens with the job? Do you think giving him that long is a mistake?

liesagain

It is a disappointment I know, my husband relapsed so many times I have lost count
and hes lost jobs and even his own company

teke

seems like its just not fair, don't it. sorry about your dad, seems like you've had one of those yrs. i really do hate addiction, it destroys people. i lost my younger bro, to alcohol and my dad's death was believed to be alcohol related and it all happened around xmas. its be yrs now but xmas is a reminder for me sometimes.

god knows you love him and he knows where you and your son are right now and he knows how to get him where he needs to be. his way and his time is not always like ours. try to continue to have faith that he will see you and him through all of this. i will be praying and believing with you. i believe he will honor the prayers of those who love him.

liesagain

My opinion is that he needs to go to detox and treatment
as soon as he can or will

liesagain

I believe that the longer he has you and your husbands help the longer it will take for him to do that

Hurtbad2505

What if he asks my mother to live with her? She is 80 and has NO clue what we have been living the last few years. She would never tell him no...how do I tell that poor woman what her grandson really is?? She thinks he hangs the moon...

liesagain

I dont know, I dont know your mom but she doesnt need to deal with this either and she would more than likely need to be told................I'm sure I'd have to tell my family members if it were my son because 100% sure they would take him in

Hurtbad2505

I know if he keeps his job, there is no way he will go to treatment. Slim chance that will happen though considering he will be getting a $1,000 check tomorrow and we all know where that money will be spent. So, it's out immediatley...I could say this with syringe in hand I suppose...(insert sarcastic laugh here)

liesagain

even if you ask him to leave theres no way to know if he would go to treatment
we, the family cant make them but we can stop making it easy for them to use

liesagain

I hate that you are faced with this

Hurtbad2505

Even if I tell her everything I don't see her refusing him...but if she would...wow...that would really be an impact on him as she ADORES him and he knows it. He was just there last Sunday putting up her Christmas lights for her, he would prob fall off the ladder if he tried that today.