Cards Hallmark Forgot to Write
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Cards Hallmark Forgot to Write
Time for a little holiday jocularity. 
We know we're not the stuff Hallmark is made of, so
it's time to write some Christmas Cards that Hallmark forgot...
The gift that keeps on giving....codependency!
May your season be merry and bright.
May no cops come to visit at night.
May you not find a stash when you’re hiding your cash
And may no one be high as a kite.
Snow falling gently on the trees
Lakes just beginning to freeze
Bailbondsman calling on the phone...
Someone posted so he can come home...dang!
How 'bout it folks? Anyone up to writing a card?
We know we're not the stuff Hallmark is made of, so
it's time to write some Christmas Cards that Hallmark forgot...
The gift that keeps on giving....codependency!
May your season be merry and bright.
May no cops come to visit at night.
May you not find a stash when you’re hiding your cash
And may no one be high as a kite.
Snow falling gently on the trees
Lakes just beginning to freeze
Bailbondsman calling on the phone...
Someone posted so he can come home...dang!
How 'bout it folks? Anyone up to writing a card?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Dec 2004
Location: The Burgh
Posts: 1,991
Ah yes...the guilty pleasure...
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse,
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St Nicolas soon would be there.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear? But a missing TV and a watch that was dear
I knew in a moment I must think think think
So I leaned back and realized...He took the kitchen sink!
More rapid than eagles I called and they came
They yelled and they called (yes they know him by name)
Then off to the hoosegow he went with a gripe
Looks like this Christmas he'll be showing off stripes.
Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house, not a creature was stirring not even a mouse,
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care in hopes that St Nicolas soon would be there.
When what to my wandering eyes should appear? But a missing TV and a watch that was dear
I knew in a moment I must think think think
So I leaned back and realized...He took the kitchen sink!
More rapid than eagles I called and they came
They yelled and they called (yes they know him by name)
Then off to the hoosegow he went with a gripe
Looks like this Christmas he'll be showing off stripes.
Living in a Pinkful Place
Join Date: May 2006
Location: Louisiana
Posts: 7,545
This is all I could think of on a quick notice - maybe I'll try again later!!
. . . . . .
All I want for Christmas is
Some Joy and Peace
No noise or Police
nor sleeplessness
All I want for Christmas is
some Joy and Peace
so we can enjoy this
Merry Christmas
. . . . . .
All I want for Christmas is
Some Joy and Peace
No noise or Police
nor sleeplessness
All I want for Christmas is
some Joy and Peace
so we can enjoy this
Merry Christmas
Nature Girl
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
Originally Posted by cece1960 
I knew in a moment I must think think think
So I leaned back and realized...He took the kitchen sink!
So I leaned back and realized...He took the kitchen sink!
Well done, and Japic, pass some of that joy and peace please
Okay, I feel a non-Hallmark moment arising...
Ya better watch out
Ya better not sigh
Better not pout, I'm telling you why...
The Codie Bus is coming to town!!
We know when you've been peeking
At texts and pockets too
We know just what you're seeking
And we'll tell you what to do...
You better fess up
If you're feeling down
To Al-Anon we'll go
And make a smile of that frown
The Codie Bus is coming to town.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: lancaster, PA
Posts: 852
Happy Holidays To Codie Friends
Christmas is a time for giving, and receiving…… may you receive the gift of peace.
As you look around this holiday season, take in the wonder of it all- do not wonder about things out of your control.
Sing loud, dance free, find the child within you- celebrate as if you are three.
Put your worries in a package with a pretty bow on top, when you want to open it, pause, think- then free yourself to just stop.
Just as children believe what they are told, and await for Santa on Christmas morn, keep dreaming your dream and you will be reborn.
Pray for serenity as you hustle through the malls, remember you faught co-dependency, if they take your parking spot, you’ll deck them down the halls!!! Lol.
Happy Holidays to All my SR friends.
Love,
Cess
Christmas is a time for giving, and receiving…… may you receive the gift of peace.
As you look around this holiday season, take in the wonder of it all- do not wonder about things out of your control.
Sing loud, dance free, find the child within you- celebrate as if you are three.
Put your worries in a package with a pretty bow on top, when you want to open it, pause, think- then free yourself to just stop.
Just as children believe what they are told, and await for Santa on Christmas morn, keep dreaming your dream and you will be reborn.
Pray for serenity as you hustle through the malls, remember you faught co-dependency, if they take your parking spot, you’ll deck them down the halls!!! Lol.
Happy Holidays to All my SR friends.
Love,
Cess
Member
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: Wishin' I was on the Beach!
Posts: 1,415
From your addict:
I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me (this time)
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree (lots of expensive ones I can sell for quick $$)
Christmas Eve will find me
wishing I could disappear soon
but I'll be home for Christmas
If only in your dreams
I'll be home for Christmas
You can count on me (this time)
Please have snow and mistletoe
and presents on the tree (lots of expensive ones I can sell for quick $$)
Christmas Eve will find me
wishing I could disappear soon
but I'll be home for Christmas
If only in your dreams
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Walking in a Dope-Head Wonderland
Gone away is the Bluebird
Here to stay is the jailbird.
He sings his same song
And we go along
pretending in his dope-head wonderland
In the city we can see a crackhead
He'll pretend he's clean and sober now.
On his left we see another smackhead
And even little kiddies know him, Wow!
In the alley, they'll conspire,
they just want to get higher!
They face unafraid
Evil schemes that they made
Walking through their dope-head wonderland.
In the ghetto we go see a dealer
He'll pretend that he is "Doctor Brown"
Doc says "do you have it?"
He'll say "Yes, Man!
I took it from my kiddies while in town!"
Oh, this is making me kind of sad, so I have to stop. Have a good holiday, everyone. Don't let them back in this year!
Love,
KJ
Gone away is the Bluebird
Here to stay is the jailbird.
He sings his same song
And we go along
pretending in his dope-head wonderland
In the city we can see a crackhead
He'll pretend he's clean and sober now.
On his left we see another smackhead
And even little kiddies know him, Wow!
In the alley, they'll conspire,
they just want to get higher!
They face unafraid
Evil schemes that they made
Walking through their dope-head wonderland.
In the ghetto we go see a dealer
He'll pretend that he is "Doctor Brown"
Doc says "do you have it?"
He'll say "Yes, Man!
I took it from my kiddies while in town!"
Oh, this is making me kind of sad, so I have to stop. Have a good holiday, everyone. Don't let them back in this year!
Love,
KJ
grateful rca
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: atlanta, ga.
Posts: 4,671
WOW!!!!!!! i'm not gonna try it either. this is a great idea, ann. funny but not funny. i really got a kick out of reading these, if halmark hadn't forgotten, i could have found good use for each one of these. hummm!!!!!! wonder how could they forget to make cards for codies, they make them for almost everything else, don't they!
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Back when, my sister did a parody about her X husband that began with :
Ray's nuts roasting on an open fire....
I don't remember the rest of it and have no talent in this area..... Anyone want to give it a shot?
Ray's nuts roasting on an open fire....
I don't remember the rest of it and have no talent in this area..... Anyone want to give it a shot?
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: NY
Posts: 1,054
aka Miss Scarlett O'Hara
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 364
Okay, I was listening to Christmas music and had a bit of inspiration:
Christmas is coming
my addict's getting fat
Too many cases of the munchies
after the pills went down the hatch
If he hasn't got a hydro
a methadone with do
If he hasn't got anything
Then God Bless YOU!
Hehe. Sad, but true.
Christmas is coming
my addict's getting fat
Too many cases of the munchies
after the pills went down the hatch
If he hasn't got a hydro
a methadone with do
If he hasn't got anything
Then God Bless YOU!
Hehe. Sad, but true.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Chicago area
Posts: 4,269
Work in progress
Ray's nuts roasting on an open fire.
Jack Daniels nipping at his prose.
Yule tide binges causing him to get higher
And soon he will be back to his hoes
Everybody knows a $20 spot and some blows
Help to make things bright
Whiney addicts with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep, tonight.
He knows that his dealer is on his way
He's loaded lots of noise and goodies in his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if he's really clean, in a pig's eye
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
Get out of his way and a very Merry Christmas to you.
Jack Daniels nipping at his prose.
Yule tide binges causing him to get higher
And soon he will be back to his hoes
Everybody knows a $20 spot and some blows
Help to make things bright
Whiney addicts with their eyes all aglow
Will find it hard to sleep, tonight.
He knows that his dealer is on his way
He's loaded lots of noise and goodies in his sleigh
And every mother's child is gonna spy
To see if he's really clean, in a pig's eye
And so I'm offering this simple phrase,
To kids from one to ninety-two,
Although its been said many times, many ways,
Get out of his way and a very Merry Christmas to you.
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