Freedom1990

I gave my sponsor a call on Wednesday evening because I could feel myself 'pre-setting' for Thanksgiving Day. After years of leaving the AD out of our celebrations because she is usually loud, obnoxious, and always looks like a circus freak, she decided to interject herself into the gathering this year.

She had everyone in an uproar, using her children as the pawns (if she didn't get her way and not only come along, but bring the new boyfriend, even the grandkids wouldn't go), and I was getting extremely angry before the event even happened.

At the time, I stepped out of the middle of it, told my dad that was emotional blackmail, left the ball in his court, and made the call to my sponsor.

Between my 21 year old and me, we were taking two cars anyway, so I had the option to get up and leave, calmly, at any time.

Despite the fact my AD looked like a circus freak as usual, and I was less than impressed with the annoying boyfriend, I concentrated on enjoying the rest of the family, and it was a nice afternoon.

My granddaughter came with an overnight bag which was an unexpected and absolutely delightful surprise. Last night we went out to where my 21 year old now lives, her BF had spent all day cooking an amazing meal, I met his mother again (I had met her several years ago when we picked up her stepdaughter for a high school dance, she is the same age as my 21 year old), and I got to love on several dogs and cats.

It was very nice, the mother sent home several containers of leftovers for me, and Alexandria and I came home stuffed to the gills and played on the computer till about 10:30. We were both exhausted, climbed into bed, read awhile, and fell asleep. She's still sleeping!

By not walking into a situation all 'cocked and ready to fire' in anticipation of mayhem, I had a wonderful day. I focused on the good, and had an out should I need to leave.

I am so incredibly grateful for the lessons I have learned in recovery.

laurie6781

Good for you!!!!! I am so happy for you. I am glad you got to have time with the grand daughter, I know you so enjoy that!!!!!

I stayed home, alone, by choice. Daughter was having a 'slew' of people, mostly my SIL's extended relatives and she, he and I had discussed it, and I did not want to be around that many people. Finale count she told me last night was 38. Way too many for me. And although my SIL refused to serve any alcohol many came with their own. My daughter was a bit 'ticked.'

Anyway she brought me some lovely 'leftovers' so I will get my 'turkey' sandwiches which I love much better than fresh cooked turkey, lol and some ham and some sweet potatoes.

Anyway, I had a nice little Filet Mignon I had bought for myself, along with fresh asparagus that I had picked up for .98/# (yes there is a bunch of it in the freezer) some shrimp and some pumkin pie. I also thawed and broiled a boneless ribeye and cooked some extra shrimp so the fur kids could have some with their evening meal. No they are not spoiled and they usually only get that on one of the kids birthdays, but hey what the heck? rofl they also got green beans.

I personally have been having a real problem the last few weeks with the increasing RUDENESS of people in general in public. I despise 'black friday' and refuse to do any shopping on this day, but have noticed it before today. I am just having a very hard time with the constant rudeness of others lately. I am sure some of it has to do with the current economics and folks are in more stress, however, my old way would have been to be rude back and I just don't do that any more. So to keep my stress at a minimum, I make sure I grocery shop between either 9:30am ad 11:30am or 1:30pm and 3:30pm when many are at work.

I have spent the last few weeks getting my 'lists' at various on line sites set up for items I still needed to get for Xmas and have spent the morning on line doing most of the last of my Xmas shopping. I can now honestly say I am 99.99% done, rofl. It will all be here in the next week or two and NO MUSS OR FUSS for me. No fighting to get a parking spot, no standing in line with aching legs and an aching back. No hearing the foul language and constant chatter of folks on their cell phones.

And no RUDE people to contend with, yeeeeaaaaaahhhhhh!!!! No stress!

Now I am going to have some lunch and take a well earned nap, lol Fur kids got a good long 'play' in the yard and are also sleeping.

I hope y'all have a very 'stress FREE' weekend planned.

Love and hugs,

greeteachday

Sounds like you made it into a wonderful time DeVon - good for you! Laurie you are far too organized for me, lol. I know what you mean about rudeness...I try to ignore it and be especially calm and respectful to the people working in stores. I too have found saving errands for off hours makes for a much more pleasant experience. I also try to shop locally (or internet) as much as I can and avoid chains, but sometimes there are few options.

I had a house full for Thanksgiving and came to the realization that I really don't like that any more. I prefer to do my thing, getting the meal out and making sure everyone is comfie than having to make small talk and I really get anxious when my kitchen is under seige with too many people in and out of it, lol. I was much more confortable when half left and the "core" folks enjoyed a a couple of more mellow hours together.

Today has been a relax and be responsible to no one but myself day...A nice walk in the brisk air, no cooking, enjoy having things back to "normal" and peaceful.

Serenity Bound

I had a peaceful Thanksgiving day, as it was just my dh & I. AD, who I went NO contact with the week b/4 did text me with I love u & have a good T-D. For me, I was very grateful just to be able to enjoy a quiet day, and thankful that HP saw to it that I would know that AD was alive.

Today, hmmmm took off work, and have been cleaning house all day.

Nope, no black friday for me..............never.........in fact I got up early yesterday morning, got online, ordered gifts for grandkids........and hey, I'm done. Yippee!!!

Hope everyone has a peaceful weekend.

Ann

Freedom, I like your style. And like you, I prefer to have an "exit" plan in place so that I don't find myself cornered with people I don't want to be with. Like you, I rarely use it but just having it ready helps me relax more.

And Laurie, I LOVE your dinner and would prefer that any day over dining with 38 people.

I see recovery shining here, where we learn that when we don't take big expectations with us, we often get pleasant surprises. And we learn that we can spend a holiday all by ourselves and still make it special. There is a certain peace in just having a day all to ourselves to do and eat whatever we want.

Greet and Serenity, you both sound like you make the best out of the day too.

You gals inspire me, we had our Thanksgiving last month but I have my mouth set for some pumpkin pie that I will buy this weekend.

Hugs

Spiritual Seeker

Yep sometimes we forget to keep it simple.

Where we focus and what perspective we choose is what we have total control over.
Often the best option is to turn the rest over.

Freedom1990

I only go to the store when necessary betweeen Thanksgiving and after the 1st of the year. I just flat out won't deal with the insanity of people who have forgotten the meaning of the season.

Everyone knows this year the bank is broke at my house since the job fiasco.

What I've decided to do is buy a little artificial Christmas tree at Dollar General this weekend with a few decorations. Then I am going to make a tiny package to hang on it each day that it is up, with a prayer tucked inside, whether it be for those with no family at all in their lives, for shelter animals to find loving homes, or for a special friend who may be struggling in life.

I want to keep it simple, and remember what the holiday season is really about.

laurie6781

I don't buy gifts for the 'adult' kids, lol What I finished up with today was for the grand kids (6 in all, from 3 almost 4 to 12) and for two birthdays in December also, lol

And what I did today was only about 25% of my shopping. The rest has been done for a long time. I start in January, and I have a closet that all gifts I buy are put into with the name of the child on the bag and if it is for birthday or xmas or a special occasion. I also have ALL my wrapping paper and bows in that closet. So now I wrap at my leisure, the grand kids far away first so I can make one trip down to the post office by the 10th and they will have them in plenty of time, and the kids here in town after that.

Tomorrow my Son-in-law will be over to hang my lights on the 'roof line' and I will be doing my shrubs and fence etc. My little (4') tree goes up quickly and will be up sometime this weekend on a table so it is visible to the outside world and the fur kids leave it alone. Slowly packages will start to appear under it (as the grandkids come over several times a week, lol) and their eyes (especially the smaller ones) will get bigger and bigger each time, THIS IS WHAT I LOVE, the kids reaction. No, not all their presents are 'toys' per se. Some are clothes, and most are 'learning toys', lol

However, with all of the above, DEV I really like your idea, and I do believe I will pick up a smaller pre lit tree that I can do that also. A new small package on it each day with a prayer for ...................................... WHAT A WONDERFUL IDEA!!!!!!! Thank you. I think you have just started a 'new tradition' at this household!

Lots of love and bunches of hugs,

Ann

Freedom, I just love you, really I do. That's just the sweetest thing.

Freedom1990

When my girls were still at home, we used to make a prayer box every year for the holiday season, and each one of us would write down and drop a prayer in there before bedtime. I've thought about that the last couple of years, and how much we had enjoyed that.

My little Christmas tree with the tiny packages on it this year is just a revamp of a tradition that I've put away for too long.

Serenity Bound

Freedom, I absolutely love this idea, hope you don't mind if I borrow it.

Impurrfect

((Freedom)) - I just LOVE your idea of the prayer tree!! I'm glad you had a good day. You've been on my mind, a lot, and I've been sending extra prayers your way.

((Laurie)) - darned, you're so organized. I don't see me buying any Christmas presents I'm not making enough $$ to pay bills, right now, but everyone knows it. I will try to get something for Brit, but that will be it. Last year, she gave dad, stepmom and I hand-made cards, that came straight from the heart, and it is something I will always treasure.

I spent the day with the family and we went to my stepsister's with BIL, his sister (who had me laughing the whole day), my 4-year-old nephew, 8-year-old niece, and their 2 dogs. The 60# boxer, Cinnamon kept me entertained, as well as the kids and I can't remember a day when I've had so much fun. My stepsister has fibro and only 20% of her heart function so I helped when she would let me.

When I got home, I was teary-eyed at how grateful I felt. My checking account may be broke, but I am rich with blessings...including my dear friends at SR.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy