What would you do?

Old 11-26-2009, 10:17 PM
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What would you do?

Got a situation for you. Say there is an older lady(a grandma) that you have great respect for. You know someone close to her(her son) is lying to her about something very important. You know if you tell her the truth about what this person is doing that it could hurt their relationship. But you know if you don't that it could hurt this person, their grandchild and a few others as well. The third solution is you could try and make the person come forward with the truth but they would greatly resent that(though it is better coming from them). What would you do?
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Old 11-26-2009, 11:19 PM
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If it wouldn't hurt her physically, personally I'd most likely stay out of it.
These days, not sure how right or wrong it is, but for the most part, I just don't like to get involved in anyone's business. Depends on the situation of course, but things usually play out the way they are supposed to without the help of me, I've found and it works better that way. But that is just me.

I am sure whichever choice you make will be the right one.
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Old 11-27-2009, 12:39 AM
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But you know if you don't that it could hurt this person, their grandchild and a few others as well.
If she is in physical danger, or financial danger, then she should be told. Nobody should remain in danger for any reason.

If it's feelings that might be hurt, then perhaps take a giant step back and stay out of it. Other people's relationships are for them to work out.

Your details are sketchy, but that's how I see it.

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Old 11-27-2009, 02:49 AM
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Is the discovery of this wrong inevitable? If so it is likely to only get worse between now or the inevitable discovery. I agree with Ann, if this is physical or economic, you should be preemptive on the matter. If it is just gossipy stuff I'd stay out of it.
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:36 AM
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I would choose: "try and make the person come forward with the truth"
Then I would run like hell.
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:54 AM
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That is a touchy situation. If its not life threatening, I would look listen and learn. Pray for the person to find their truth.
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Old 11-27-2009, 06:21 AM
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If it will hurt the grandma physically or financial then I think I might attempt to sit down and discuss it other wise Id stay out of it. More often then not the truth does come out, it may not come out as fast as wed like but eventually it does.

The slip side of that is, more often then not when we disclose something about someone else to someone else, they dont always want to believe it and we may damage our own relationship with them.

I think if you are able to disclose a little more of the circumstances involved you may get more feedback on how to handle it.
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Old 11-27-2009, 06:49 AM
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Back when....I was certain my daughter would steal from her employers...absolutely wonderful, older people, who thought the world of her.
My gut was screaming, at the time, to tell them about my daughter's addiction to prevent them from being hurt by her.

My daughter, at that time, was apt to lie, cheat and steal, from anyone.
I came to the conclusion that I was reacting to my own hurt and in the name of protecting this couple, I was trying to control my daughter's life.

I kept my mouth shut and stayed in my own hula hoop.
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Old 11-27-2009, 07:51 AM
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If the grandson is stealing from her.....and I absolutely
knew this ......I would type a letter and mail
it to the Grandmother anonymously.

It could simply say..."Check your bank accounts for
missing funds"

The reason for that would be to keep myself from
danger of physical harm from an angry guy.

Call me sneaky....but safe....
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Old 11-27-2009, 12:54 PM
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Originally Posted by cynical one View Post
Did she?
To the best of my knowledge, she has not taken anything from them. They continue to adore her. Unlike here mama, she is as cute as a button and has incredible charisma, especially with customers.

I am glad I minded my own business.
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