In Jail on the Holidays
 

Our divorce was final Nov.13 and this is his first year spending the holidays in jail. With his charges he could possibly be there for alot of holidays to come. For some reason he's been on my mind heavily today, I can't even imagine how he is feeling today. He's been there since August and I have contact only by mail with him, mainly to keep him informed of what 's going on with son. I don't have to do that since I have sole custody but it's the right thing to do so I do. He has no one in this state but son and I.

We were married for 18 yrs. so I know the game and don't play anymore with him, best thing is he knows this. I guess it's just disheartening to me that he is there on the holidays, even though he does deserve to be there. It feels great to call him my EX-Husband but I still have compassion for him and his situtation, NOT PITY, compassion. I didn't let these thoughts overshadow my day and the fun and fellowship I had with my family but he was in my thoughts alot today. Is that good or bad?? I don't know.

Our son is almost 15 and doesn't have anything to do with him. If he gets out and has a relationship with son and earns his respect he will be one LUCKY man is all I can say. His dad always earned his respect through intimidation and name calling. He was such an ass and I am sooooo........ thankful to be divorced from him :) I got my Christmas present early this year.

I am also very thankful I got out alive and intact as many don't. In the letters he has sent it is still all about him and what he needs, I pointed this out to him a couple of letters ago :) I tell him what's up with son and ignore the rest of his quacking. I'm VERY GOOD at that now :)) Just thought I get my thoughts out there. Open to any and all comments. Hope everyone has had a great turkey day!!

He doesn't care if I tell him how he's doing in school and such. Son knows if I believe his dad needs to know something that I tell him. Even if he's having behavior issues or whatever I'll tell his dad. When I told son our divirce would be final the next day he told me "he didn't care what we did". He's been there, done that too!! I know deep down he's just glad the chaos and insanity isn't in out daily lives anymore. I took his dad back several times which is why he has that attitude. I'm just trying to do what I would want done if it were me so I keep him informed of son. Also our son has a vision impairment and goes to alot of specialists so that's another part of my updates to him. Son has already lost partial vision in one eye, had a cataract removed last summer, and takes a weekly shot of a cancer drug, so it's all complicated. Son also just got braces on so he wanted to know about that and how that went. I sent him a couple of pics of son with his braces on. I don't force a relationship between them but son does know I have limited contact with him. Son is old enough to make his own decisions about his dad and I'm thinking he's on the right track for now. Jusy my observation :)