Ann

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Accepting Our Feelings

Why do we struggle so with our feelings? Why do we work so hard to deny our emotions, especially concerning other people? They are only feelings!

In the course of a day, we may deny we feel frustrated in reaction to someone who is selling us a service.

We may deny that we feel frustrated, angry, or hurt in reaction to a friend.

We may deny feelings of fear, or anger, toward our children.

We may deny a whole range of feelings toward our spouse or the person with whom we're in a love relationship.

We may deny feelings provoked by people we work for, or by people who work for us.

Sometimes the feelings are a direct reaction to others. Sometimes people trigger something deeper - an old sadness or frustration.

Regardless of the source of our feelings, they are still our feelings. We own them. And acceptance is often all that is necessary to make them go away.

We don't have to let our feelings control our behavior. We don't have to act on each feeling that passes through us. We do not need to indulge in inappropriate behavior.

It does help to talk about our feelings with someone we trust. Sometimes we need to bring our feelings to the person who is triggering them. That can breed intimacy and closeness. But the most important person we need to tell is ourselves. If we allow our feelings to pass through us, accept them, and release them, we shall know what to do next.

Today, I will remember that feelings are an important part of my life. I will be open to my feelings in family life, in friendships, in love, and at work. I will feel my feelings without judging myself.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

After stuffing my feelings for many years, it took me a while to pay attention to them, to acknowledge them, and to recognize that justified or not...my feelings are valid because they are how I feel.

I have learned, through recovery, to acknowledge and accept my feelings and to work through them, or to make a special note of them and then work on them when I am feeling calmer. Sharing them helped, writing them out helped, and looking within to see why they were triggered helped too.

I learned not to hang out feeling the bad feelings for long, that never led to anyplace good and often left me stuck or feeling worse. But accepting that feelings are just that, emotions that will pass, helped me to feel validated and inspired at the same time.

Bad days don't last forever. Most times, the difference between a bad day and a good day is about 2 days. And before long, the good feelings will kick in, feelings of gratitude for all the blessings in my life, feelings of peace in my own space, and feelings of moving ahead one more step in my recovery.

Hugs