Thanks...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Summerside, PE, Canada
Posts: 53
Thanks...
Hey everyone, I just wanted to say that this weekend has been a real eye opener. My ex had told me that he got fired from work, and that he was going to rehab Thursday.. I thought, awesome.. that is great, maybe then we could have a family! Then, Halloween evening I went out dolled up (yet, still professionally) and ended up getting 23 calls, of the same thing; calling me down, I was nothing, don't ever talk to him...etc.
I came to realize, that... even if he was not an addict, he would still have this habit of degrading, insulting, belittling and realized that even if he did go on thursday, the chances of relapse are high unless he REALLY wants to do it, not just cause he got fired. He would continue to be the person that he is. Maybe it's not connected to the drugs, maybe it is.. but either way, this is not a person that I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
I've agreed that the best action to take would be to take him for custody and child support and, following that have no contact with him. So, I thank him for saving me the hassle of yet again, believing he was better and taking him back, to much dismay realizing that he would never be "better", and we would never have a normal conversation. In my eyes, a person abusing drugs have learned to push down feelings, and are not good with emotions. They expect everyone else to do so as well. Perhaps not all addicts, but... my addict, yes.
Thank you everyone for giving me the strength to do so, and allowing me to get my emotions and feeligs out, at long last.
I came to realize, that... even if he was not an addict, he would still have this habit of degrading, insulting, belittling and realized that even if he did go on thursday, the chances of relapse are high unless he REALLY wants to do it, not just cause he got fired. He would continue to be the person that he is. Maybe it's not connected to the drugs, maybe it is.. but either way, this is not a person that I would like to spend the rest of my life with.
I've agreed that the best action to take would be to take him for custody and child support and, following that have no contact with him. So, I thank him for saving me the hassle of yet again, believing he was better and taking him back, to much dismay realizing that he would never be "better", and we would never have a normal conversation. In my eyes, a person abusing drugs have learned to push down feelings, and are not good with emotions. They expect everyone else to do so as well. Perhaps not all addicts, but... my addict, yes.
Thank you everyone for giving me the strength to do so, and allowing me to get my emotions and feeligs out, at long last.
Nature Girl
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: By The Lake
Posts: 60,328
(((Lost)))
Sometime it takes the "lessons" a while to get through to us, but it sounds like you have learned yours.
Nobody deserves to be treated like that, by anyone addict or not.
I think we let people get away with more because we know they are sick and we think that if they were well their behaviour would become healthy too. Not always so.
You got to choose and it sounds to me like you have chosen well, to take care of yourself and know that you are worth way more than this.
Hugs
Sometime it takes the "lessons" a while to get through to us, but it sounds like you have learned yours.
Nobody deserves to be treated like that, by anyone addict or not.
I think we let people get away with more because we know they are sick and we think that if they were well their behaviour would become healthy too. Not always so.
You got to choose and it sounds to me like you have chosen well, to take care of yourself and know that you are worth way more than this.
Hugs
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