Ann

You are reading from the book Language of Letting Go

Acceptance

A magical potion is available to us today. That potion is called acceptance.

We are asked to accept many things: ourselves, as we are; our feelings, needs, desires, choices, and current status of being. Other people, as they are. The status of our relationships with them. Problems. Blessings. Financial status. Where we live. Our work, our tasks, our level of performance at these tasks.

Resistance will not move us forward, nor will it eliminate the undesirable. But even our resistance may need to be accepted. Even resistance yields to and is changed by acceptance.

Acceptance is the magic that makes change possible. It is not forever; it is for the present moment.

Acceptance is the magic that makes our present circumstances good. It brings peace and contentment and opens the door to growth, change, and moving forward.

It shines the light of positive energy on all that we have and are. Within the framework of acceptance, we figure out what we need to do to take care of ourselves.

Acceptance empowers the positive and tells God we have surrendered to the Plan. We have mastered today's lesson, and are ready to move on.

Today, I will accept. I will relinquish my need to be in resistance to my environment and myself. I will surrender. I will cultivate contentment and gratitude. I will move forward in joy by accepting where I am today.

From The Language of Letting Go by Melody Beattie ©1990, Hazelden Foundation.

Ann

I struggled with acceptance early in my recovery, it just seemed to be like giving up hope or worse, condoning what was happening. I learned that it wasn't that at all, that acceptance meant facing reality and dealing with the hand I was dealt.

I heard of the 3 "A's" in recovery...Acknowledgment, Acceptance and Action. Once I was able to acknowledge the problem before me, I could accept that it was what it was and prepare to do something to make it bearable for me. When I can't change my circumstance, I can change my attitude and do what I need to do to move forward.

I cannot change my son's addiction, I cannot change that he has been missing for many years now, but I can acknowledge that worrying about this all day every day will only make me sick too. Accepting what is, helps me to work my program and find a better way to live so that I CAN live life as it was intended to be lived, with joy and grace and finding some beauty in every single day. So instead of making myself sick, I give my son to God every morning and leave him in God's care.

I have read a few posts here recently from people who have been working their recovery for a long time, and even when life hands them a huge obstacle, I see an acceptance by them, I see an optimistic outlook showing that even though today may not be a good day, pain doesn't last forever and most times there is something good just ahead, around the corner where we cannot see it, but we know it's there just waiting for us to catch up. Those people inspire me to accept my plight and move forward to step out of the darkness of despair and into the light of hope and faith.

Hugs

LostInTheWorld

Thank you Ann for posting this. I've found some good words here that help me through each day.

Suspicious

Thanks Ann... THIS is EXACTLY what I needed to hear today.

I promise myself and everyone else that might benefit from me keeping my word about this that I will ask myself each time I face something to do with AH addiction if what I am doing is resisting or accepting. Even when I try to rationalize it I will call it either black or white. I always have millions of shade of grey and I need to work on seeing this as either one or the other with no in-betweens anymore.

bluebelle

I'm having a terrible time with acceptance right now. I don't like my job, I've been injured, I've had sick family members, etc. How do I accept that things are really how I don't want them to be?

teke

OMG, ann, thank you. accepting that i couldn't work, that my health wasn't the best, and that i never thought life with my ah would turn out to be the way it did. i never thought i could get to the place where i honesty did believe that maybe what i thought was best for me to do/meant for me to do, was maybe not what i needed after all.

it took me a long time, seems a lot longer than most others but i feel i'm now able/willing to accept that my life is what it is for now, and that my hp knows what is best for me better than i do. i know that i am where i am and today i'm more open to allow my hp to lead me into the place he knows best.

i've accepted the fact that my ah is who he is and is gonna do what he does no matter what i do or say and i finally realized and have accepted the fact that the marriage that i've fought to hold onto for so long, may be winding down and its okay today.

acceptance for me equals peace and serenity, feels like a ton of bricks have been lifted off my back. thanks again for this post, i needed to read this, i had kind of been in a slump for the past few days and i didn't know why but this kind of woke me up and reminded me to remember the serenity prayer.

Ann

Accepting that things are not how you would like them to be, might be the first step in changing what you can. Maybe keep your eye out for a new job, and hopefully it will be something you like better. The sick family members may have to take care of themselves, but I find that helping others often helps me too.

Sometimes when things aren't the way I want them to be, I just do the footwork and leave the outcome to God. It usually works out well.

Hugs