barblsn

My RAH has been home just 2 weeks shy of a year. This will be the first time in 2 years we will be celebrating my birthday. He booked a room for us in the hotel where we had our honeymoon. This the longest time he's been drug free since we met 6 years ago.

He's working, doing an excellent job of staying away from people, places and things, which unfortunately includes most of his family, and his old home group. And I stopped (almost) nagging him, and trying to do his recovery for him. I can't control what he does, and this time, I will know what to do if he relapses. I will not try and save him.

It's an almost daily struggle. For a year he has been where he says he has been. But...every once in a while, I'll get kind of flashback...what if he's not home....what if he found a way to my bank acct...etc. His adult son recently disclosed to me that the same thing happens to him. I guess trying to live with an active addict is traumatic.

So, one day at time. I'll be 49 in a few days. how did THAT happen????

Ann

Only 49? I went from 48 to 105 in a blink, my life is a blur.

Your recovery is shining here, as well as his. One day at a time is all any of us is given, so enjoying today, squeezing the joy out of it and living a life worth living is all a gift of recovery.

Enjoy your getaway, you've both deserved it.

Hugs

Daisy09

Thanks, Barb, for this post. My husband is almost 3 months into recovery now, and it's so heartening to hear that I am not the only one who still has minor panic attacks...just last evening, I called on my way home from the store. He didn't pick up the phone, and I immediately started thinking about what could be wrong, where could he be...when I got home, he was cleaning up the basement - an activity which I whole-heartedly approve

~Daisy

teke

thanks barb for the update, so happy for the both of you, congratulations and wishing you a happy bday.

Serenity Bound

Barb, thanks for the update. That is really good news!!! Enjoy your b-d! Only 49....if only I could see that again

barblsn

I dont' know if this ever goes away.....

MrsMagoo

I have often wondered the same thing. I heard a counselor say at a "friends and family" meeting at the treatment center that her husband was sober for something like 7 years and she came home from work and he was asleep on the couch (in the middle of the day). She freaked - woke him up and started screaming at him - accusing him of being drunk and passed out (because that's what he used to do).

He calmly told her that the job he had been working on had finished ahead of schedule and the boss sent them home.

She grabbed her purse and ran to a meeting.

Her point was - we have triggers too and no matter how much time passes by, we still have triggers.

outtolunch

I think of it as post tramatic stress disorder. Situations beyond my control have put me in this place, a few times. I will not take mood altering substances to cope.

I worked briefly with a therapist who is certified in EMDR therapy. It's kooky stuff. However, it has helped me and others gain perspective following a trauma......from being in the middle of it all to being a passenger on a train whooshing bye the scene.... the memory is intact....the emotional engagement/attachment is not.

BTW, Happy Bday.

greeteachday

Happy Birthday and an early happy birthday to your husband too! Hope you have a wonderful away - you have both worked hard for it!