littlebird77

ABF has be clean for a year, (slipped twice) and completely clean since May. He is being really good, going to meetings four times a week and really getting involved with the program.

Situation: His father has become ill and is very old. ABF is still being good and staying clean... I, however have been flipping out. I just released that part of me is so convinced he will relapse due to the stress of his father that I am going through my own relapse.

Any advice you may have for me to just relax? I need to clam down. The poor guys father is ill and I am snapping at him for everything and anything.

thank you!

Learn2Live

Go out with some girlfriends. Anywhere.
Do yoga.
Take a bubble bath.
Do deep breathing exercises.
Go to an Al-Anon meeting.

outtolunch

For me....the degree of flip was directly linked to my sense of fear of loosing control.

Once I hit my own bottom and was humbled by my own realization and acceptance that I am powerless over my daughter, her addiction, and anyone else, for that matter.....I was able to restore balance in my own life.

I still sometimes catch myself awfulizing the future and snap out of it.
I remain a work in progress.

tjp613

With my own similar stuff that I'm going thru, I repeat this mantra: "Worrying about it will not change the outcome." Just pray and hand it over, darlin'. And like CynicalOne said, just be as supportive as you can.

(((Hugs)))

barblsn

Be anxious for nothing, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

You can't make him use; you can't make him not use.

Ask him what he needs; some men prefer to work through things themselves, while most women need to talk things out with other people. Respect his wishes, take care of you.

URMYEVERYTHING

The only feedback I can give.. is that to not live in the fear of the unknown. He could relapse if the sun was shining and everything was just peachy keen. Stress isn't always the reason/trigger to relapse.

Keep practicing that you are not in control of a relapse and you can't predict when one will happen. You are creating an anxiety for yourself that is not healthy for you.

Enjoy him for where he is now. Live in the moment.