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Old 10-18-2009, 01:36 PM
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Remember me?

I everyone, you do remember me right? I've been gone for a long time and man if you hated how much I talked before, you're going to hate this thread! LOL

So much has happened!

I have had Shingles for a few months now, and currently am out of pain! Whew!

My son has been out of jail for almost one year now. October 28th! He has had a couple of relapses, which doesn't make me happy. The other thing that doesn't make me happy is he still doesn't have steady employment! Hmmm? I realize times are hard, but wasn't it him that said "if a person wants to work, he'll find work?" Oh, yeah, that was when he was incarcerated.

He is still living with the new GF, who, incidentally, is so nice! Don't know how she can put up with him when he goes off the deep end! You know how it goes, when he's good he is very good, when he's bad he's horrible!

He has a new PO, and I'm not kidding, the guy is crazy for me! I know, I know, you've all heard that before, but it's true. I think he is more crazy for me than the mailman, or my X-husband! Mr. Dev, says I'm a "magget"! I hope he means a "magnet!"

Anyway, that's the lighter side of my life. Are you ready for the drama now?

It seems my granddaughter who is just 21 years old has found herself in a bit of a predicament. That is, she has a 3 year old girl, and is currently pregnant again due in November. YIPES< around the son's birthday!

She is still in a program but gets out Oct. 26. Last summer I was contacted by the social worker asking if we were willing to take in the child in the event she was taken from the mom. She had been with the paternal grandma, but seems she was doing drugs!! HELLO? The child was then placed with the granddaughter, and has been there ever since. Then she gets pg again and this guy had promised marriage and had been with her since the first child was 3 months old. She thought he was a keeper, but he has since decided he wanted out.

Now, she has no place to go (except perhaps another rehab, that will accept children) and asked if she could live with us.

In the beginning we thought it would be ok, but now after dealing with her for the past few months, I've changed my mind.

I will go into details later because this thread is way too long already.

Nice to be back, hope all is well with everyone.

Don't forget to watch for the second chapter of "A day in the Life of a Co-dependant!" That would be me!

Hugs, Devastated
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Old 10-18-2009, 01:58 PM
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Hi dear dev! I'm sorry about the shingles...I know folks who have had them and they are terribly painful. Glad you are out of pain now...Just remember that stress can trigger them, so keep it as drama free as possible.

Sorry to hear your granddaughter is not too settled. Hope she will figure out what works for her. You tried and since it isn't going to work just trust that her HP has her covered and there are angels watching those little ones. Hugs
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Old 10-18-2009, 02:33 PM
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Welcome back.
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Old 10-18-2009, 03:01 PM
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Hi dev. Nice to hear from you!

Your son's nice GF... that was once me long ago. Naive to addiction... thought love
could change him!

Looking forward to part 2. (Your posts are filled with humor and help me to see the
lighter side of things and not be so serious all the time.)
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Old 10-18-2009, 03:22 PM
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Hi Greeteachday,rayofsunshine,wolfchild

Now you tell me, Greeteachday! Yes, hope she figures it out too. Spoke to her social worker on a couple of occasions, and each time she asked me if I would like a job. Why? Because she says I sound like a person who would never be an "enabler!"

Shoot, is she confused or what? I'm probably becoming a better con artist than our addicts, if that's how I was able to represent myself to her.

Kidding. The experience I have had with the granddaughter's dad, my son, has certainly helped me "think on my feet!" She, the GD can't even shock me into getting her way! Now that's what experience does!

In fact, when she tells me she will be on the street with two kids, I suggested her storage unit! Do you remember those days, when my son said he was going to live in his storage unit, and I totally panicked 'cause I was afraid there wouldn't be enough air for him to breath??? LOL

Funny thing is, they always have a storage unit!! Actually, I pay for her storage unit. It was an agreement we had. As long as she stayed in the rehab, I would pay. The minute she walked I would quit paying. By golly, she stayed!!

Hi Rayofsunshine: Actually, the GF has been there herself, but has been clean for 10 years. Good for her! She's a great gal. Very sweet, soft spoken, probably wayyy to nice for him! Glad I have you interested in Part 2, I'm going to be posting that very soon.

hUGS, dEV
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Old 10-18-2009, 04:51 PM
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Hey ((Dev))!! Good to see you! I just recently found my way back to the boards too.

You sound good, even though you have some challenges around you. I'm glad you're here!
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Old 10-18-2009, 05:16 PM
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Dang it, Dev, if I wasn't thinking of you today and about to send you an e-mail, and here you are!!!! We have an uncanny connection, maybe it's our high thread count sheets.

I'm just running in and out tonight but will be back in the morning to read more on this thread.

So glad to see you, my friend, and I promise to have all the answers to all your problems tomorrow

Big Hugs and Lotsa Love

P.S. If you haven't tried bamboo sheets yet, you haven't lived. Go get yerself a set and see if they are not just a little bit of heaven.
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Old 10-18-2009, 05:52 PM
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P.S. If you haven't tried bamboo sheets yet, you haven't lived. Go get yerself a set and see if they are not just a little bit of heaven.
OMG - REALLY??? I absolutely love bamboo socks..soooooo comfie. I must have 2 dozen pair. Didn't know they made bamboo sheets.. I don't think this can wait for Santa...I'm googling now
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Old 10-18-2009, 06:47 PM
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Hi Ann

WHAT? BAMBOO SHEETS??? MY SON WILL KILL (OOPS, BAD CHOICE OF WORDS) FOR BAMBOO SHEETS!

Yes, Ann, you do not want to miss Part 2 of my continuing saga, or do you?

Hugs & Kisses,
Devastated
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:12 PM
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OH Dev it's so good to see you again! I always smile when I see your name here.

One of the things I love about recovery is that it doesn't mean we won't have drama in our lives, or bumps in the road. What we have today is a new way of dealing with those things that pop up in our lives. You seem to handle yours will humor, finesse, detachment, and love.

I am looking forward to Chapter 2 of the story. And I have to agree with Ann: the bamboo sheets are TDF! (to die for)
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Old 10-18-2009, 07:40 PM
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Dev, so nice to see you around. Well, sorta except for the trouble. I haven't been around much, just came back. Oh, well. But you have always made me smile and given me much to think and laugh about. Good to hear from you again. Awaiting part two.
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Old 10-18-2009, 11:27 PM
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((Dev)) Darned, it's good to see you back!! Looking forward to part 2, as you always make me laugh, even if there's some serious stuff thrown in there.

So, I guess I wasn't the only A to think of living in a storage unit, huh? Of course, I didn't even HAVE a storage unit, but it was something I was working toward ahhhh, the "dreams" of the addict!

Okay, going to check out the bamboo sheets, now.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
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Old 10-19-2009, 12:27 AM
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Hi Dev. It's good to see you again. I haven't been here much either. I'll look for your updates in the next few days. (((((((((HUGS)))))))))
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Old 10-19-2009, 01:34 AM
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Mr. Dev, says I'm a "magget"! I hope he means a "magnet!"


It`s good to warn him, Dev.



Not to divert this thread, but I have to tell you that bamboo sheets are expensive, so watch for sales, and don`t buy the combo fabrics, stick to the real thing. But they are sooooo worth every penny. I bought some for the guest room, tried them out on my own bed and had to go out and buy a second set because I`m not parting with them. Wash `em and put them back on.

And Greet, try the bamboo tights. Who knew bamboo would be the new silk!!

Now Dev, back to business here. It is Monday morning, I have had my coffee, and know enough to keep a tissue handy for wiping my monitor. Let`s hear part 2, this codie can take it, just pour it all out.

Sending big hugs to you and Mr. Dev from the foxy lady of the north.

Huggaroos
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Old 10-19-2009, 09:49 AM
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Thanks Ladies

Nice to be missed.

I do have one question for Ann though. My question is:

She said she had been thinking of me the same day that I posted. Hmmmm? Is this because Halloween is fast approaching? Is she putting me in the "witch" category? Couldn't be the broom, 'cause I'm too fat!

I may be wrong though. I mean I was wrong "once" before, and that was when Mr. Dev and I were in Hawaii. I had just thrown trash in the garbage can where I saw "Mahalo" written across the top of the lid. Then we went shopping and I purchased a very nice, not gaudy, necklace, and as the clerk handed me the bag he said, "mahalo!"

I turned to mr. Dev and asked, "did he just call me trash?" Mr. Dev replied, "no, mamma, he meant garbage can!" HUH?

So, I can be wrong here.

Hugs, Dev
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Old 10-19-2009, 10:21 AM
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Dev, I was thinking of you when I was making my bed, sheets always make me think of you and I felt a codie need to make sure you had the best. We won't be using these sheets to become Halloween ghosts, maybe just angels with crooked halos. Or we could go as garbage cans, but I get to be the lid this year

Now, for the newcomers here, it isn't our custom when someone returns to share more of their story, to prepare to laugh and spit on our monitors, but there is just something about Dev that makes us do that. She is one of our special treasures here and we've walked a long way together, sometimes prodding each other along but laughing a lot on the way. That's recovery shining, especially when we learn to laugh at ourselves.

Love you, Dev, and I'll keep checking in.

Hugs
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Old 10-19-2009, 05:00 PM
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Ann

OMG, I just looked up the bamboo sheets!!! You're right they are very expensive. Shoot for that price I hope they throw in the entire board, plant, or whatever it is!

I remember having bamboo in the yard and darn stuff was taking over the whole place. It was difficult to get rid of (sort of like my kid, kidding God).

Had I known then that someone was going to say, "hey, let's make sheets out of this stuff" I would have found a place to store it and sand it down in my spare time.

Story of my life always a day late and a dollar short!

Told my son about it, and he was so excited. He said as soon as he got a bed he was going to get those sheets! Oh, darn, details! Forgot they won't fit the bed of the truck. Why then do they call it a truck bed?

So funny about the halloween costumes! Ok, you can be the lid this year.

That reminds me when the kids were little. I would make these elaborate costumes for my kids while my sister never did anything special for hers. She had 3 boys and each year one would be a cowboy and the other would be the indian. The third one carried the bag for trick or treating. One year the kids complained and said, "Mom, I was an indian last year!" So she said, "ok, so this year you're the cowboy!" Settled! Mine would never accept that! Guess who was the co-dependent me or my sister??

Anyway Ann, thank you for the nice re-introduction for the newcomers. What you failed to tell them was back in 2002, before I met you and the other wonderful gals here, I was just a short putt from the edge. Because of the wonderful support on this forum I actually managed to move on and even had many laughs along the way. Something I never thought I would be able to do as I watched my son destroy his life!

The moral of the story ladies and gentlemen is we can learn to "let go" with love. We can learn to live our lives. We learn we can control only our lives and everyone else is on their own. We learn that our goals are ours alone, they cannot be forced on someone else. We learn that we all have choices and, unfortunately, we cannot force our choices on anyone else.

Man, it took me so long to get to that point!! Ann reached it way before I did. probably 'cause she's older than me huh? Kidding!!

Hugs, Devastated
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Old 10-20-2009, 01:30 AM
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The moral of the story ladies and gentlemen is we can learn to "let go" with love. We can learn to live our lives. We learn we can control only our lives and everyone else is on their own. We learn that our goals are ours alone, they cannot be forced on someone else. We learn that we all have choices and, unfortunately, we cannot force our choices on anyone else.

Man, it took me so long to get to that point!! Ann reached it way before I did. probably 'cause she's older than me huh? Kidding!!
Dev, it just tickles my heart to hear that from you, even though I know you've been to a good place for quite a while now. I think you have always been special to me because our journeys have been so similar and we both had our heels dug in for so long before anything got through to us. And it isn't pretty to see two old ladies being dragged because we refused to let go for so long, well, maybe not so old but I know that I felt about 105 when I began this journey. But if we can find peace with our lives, then anyone can, and the nice thing is that it's all a free gift that we give to each other.

It's hard to let go, it's hard to take the prison warden off speed dial, LOLOL, but it CAN be done, and we're survivors today and wiser for the journey....still crazy, but a little wiser, yes?

Love you Dev, and if you need to try out those sheets you are always welcome to visit Ann's Retreat for old codies who can still laugh at themselves. Just go wayyy north, hang a right and go wayyy east and stop when you hit the Great Lakes.

Hugs
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Old 10-20-2009, 03:27 AM
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(((Dev)))

Good to see "old" friends!
I'm looking forward to hearing part two, also.

And I'll have to see those bamboo sheets myself!

Shalom!
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Old 10-21-2009, 07:43 AM
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Welcome back Dev. I'm so glad you are feeling better. I've missed you.
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