Suspicious

Just wanted to share that I attended my first meeting today. It was an al-anon because the one nar-anon isnt close enough or early enough. A friend suggested al-anon saying at his meetings there are lots of people with narcotics issues so I probably wont be the odd one out. I really liked it. I got there a bit early and went on in where a couple members were setting up seats. I was surprised that at the first sign of a warm welcome and offer of support that I teared up... thought because I had heard so much of that here that it shouldnt feel like this big rush of relief... but then I just let myself feel it... really wholler around in the relief of knowing that I dont have try to deal with this alone and it felt really good. I am feeling pretty good about myself the last few days. I havent DONE anything about my situation... havent had a big talk about boundaries or packed up to leave but in my head it is more than just some hazy plan now. I know what needs to be done and I am working towards it.

I was surprised at the number of people there who have continued on in the program years after their addicted loved one is no longer around. Not just mothers of grown children or ex's who divorced their addict but widows and such. I knew that members of AA or NA would continue to stay active in the program because it helps to keep them on the path of recovery but I was really surprised that loved ones continue on with the recovery after 'they dont need it anymore'. Not just in the capacity of giving back to the program that helped them when they needed it but that they actually still get something out of it for themselves even now.

One older member mentioned that she thought when she went to her first meeting she would go for a few weeks and learn all she needed to 'to fix her addict' and she wouldnt need to go back. I didnt think that... because of all of you guys I knew I was going for me not him.... but I guess I had it in my head that I would go till I got my ducks in a row so that I could leave... I go back & forth in my picture of the future at that point, it is either me raising my kids alone, out of the chaos of this addiction OR me & the kids leaving is the bottom that AH needed to get to that finally wakes him up to seek help. I guess I just never figured that the support and life lessons learned there would be something I would need 'after'.

Anyway... I am really glad I went, glad that the 1st meeting seemed so right and not like some have experienced where it just didnt fit, glad that I am looking forward to going back.

WIworrier

Funny...I was just going to post about meetings...
My AD is 19 and has been talking about going to a meeting. Hes been thru rehab 2x and has been to "some" meetings. The problem he says is that he is ALWAYS way younger than everyone there...any ideas? He has only been to NA...

hello-kitty

Try another meeting?
Focus on the similarities, not differences?
Suck it up, do whatever it takes to find recovery, including sit in a room full of older recovering addicts who have been there and done that and learn from their experience?

greeteachday

Suspicious, I'm glad your first meeting was such a great fit! I haven't had active addiction in my life in over 3 years but I still check in with my home Naranon group. The friendships I've made there are really special and I find the tools of the program have helped me tremendously in all aspects of my life. I think the staff that work with me have benefited greatly from my program - I'm a much better manager now than I used to be and I give the needed tools and encouragement for them to fly on their own

Ann

I too am glad that your meeting helped you and I promise you that they will help you more than you know. At my first three meetings all I did was cry, perhaps in relief that I had finally found people who understood and who I knew could help me. They passed me tissues and gave me hugs and before long I was sharing and became part of this circle of support that literally saved my life.

My son has been missing for over 5 years, lost in his addiction somewhere, and although I am no longer exposed to the day to day chaos of living with active addiction, I still practice my recovery program every single day...because it makes MY life better and worth living again.

I would not be in the good place I am in today, finding beauty in every single day, if it were not for the 12-step program that taught me a better way to live no matter what life hands me, and I will always be grateful for those who went before me and who shared what they had and what I KNEW I wanted too.

Hugs