stopping pain meds, alone
 

My AH has gone to counseling and admitted he is addicted to pain meds. Finally! That was only after threating leaving him for his irrational behavior. I sometimes think hes better when hes on them than when hes off them. Now he needs surgery...hes been off them for a week and thinks he can just quit them by himself after the first week of surgery. When he says why do i need treatment, I can just stop. Which he probably can, since he stopped smoking cold turkey, i need answers pls.

This sounds like it might have been written by someone who might be dealing with some control issues of their own, here. Kind of like "I know what's best for you." Know what I mean?

People addicted to opiates often seem better on their "meds", than off them.
People addicted to opiates often express the desire and motivation to get off the pills when they are still using the pills. It's a different story, once they are in full blown withdrawal.

I have no idea how long he's been on medication, how much he is taking, how he is taking the pills, if he also drinks, what his tolerance is or the difference between his real pain and the extreme discomfort of withdrawal.
Does any of it really matter?

Some people can do it on their own. Some people have to step down to Suboxone. Some people do better in a treatment program. If he's deeply motivated, he will soon find out which way works best for him.

In the meantime, what can you do for yourself to take the emphasis off him and his addiction and put it back on yourself?

Are there any Alanon or Naranon meetings in your area?