Brad86

Hello everyone! I have been addicted to narcotics in the past. My wife has a bad history also. She had got back on them in May and we have been on and off since then. She turned into someone I didnt even know. During this time I was always there for her no matter what even tho she did treat me like a pure dog.

She went to a detox center first and is coming to the end of her 5 week rehab this thursday and i am to pick her up. I have gotten probably about 30 letters during this time. She has said she loves me and she is sorry for everything she has done to me and she wants our love back that we used to have. When we got married and up until this happened we were so in love with each other. But over the last few months I have been heartbroken. I have always believed that she truly loves me. But now I dont know... Is this normal?? What should I do. I want to believe she is truly in love with me again and want to believe that she wants to be with me again but I dont want to be hurt again.....

Learn2Live

I'm glad you're here!

You sound normal to me.

It's hard when another person, especially a loved one, breaks our trust. I am so sorry you are going thru this.

Have you ever heard the term, "Codependency"? There are some stickies you can read that are listed at the top of the Friends & Family (F&F) forum with very useful information for you. Also, if you search around on the forums and do some reading, you will find all kinds of real-life situations much like yours to read about.

itisatruth

Hi Brad86 - like Learn2live said....stick around and read...SR is a good place to read what others have been through when dealing with addiction.

For your relationship, focus on actions. Talk is cheap; following through with the talk is often where we can see what others really mean/want.

For you, think of what you want/need...what you are willing to live with - and from this point, you can start to think about what you are ready to do about it. What you decide is yours alone, only you can decide what you are OK with (today) in your life.

It took a long time for me to watch the actions, not just the promises of my AH. In time, I learned to trust myself and respect my own needs. I always hope for people to find recovery...to stay clean....but now, I also know what is and isn't OK in my life, no matter what someone else does, this needs to be the most important thing.

kj3880

Since you are also in recovery, hopefully you've been going to meetings and you've learned that you can only change yourself and work on your own recovery. Hopefully you remember that the only recovery you can work is your own.

She needs to get with the other women in a 12-step program, get her own sponsor, and get busy, if she is to stay clean. I suggest that you take this time to plug back into your own recovery network, recommit to your own sobriety, and pray. What will your boundaries be in this relationship, and how will you protect your own recovery???? Clear and honest thinking is called for here.

Love,
KJ