Lesson Learned

Old 10-07-2009, 03:16 PM
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Lesson Learned

Why didn't anyone tell me it was gonna be so hard to get mt AH to leave? Like I said he had until the end of Sept to move. His bonus check came on Oct 2 so we agreed that he could stay 2 more days. Now the money is sitting in the account and he hasn't left. So many excuses but, at this point I probably don't need to tell you because you guys probably have heard them all. Now I think ...cross that off I KNOW I'm gonna have to go to court. Ugh they don't wanna get help and they don't wanna leave. By the way my loan modification came through and the loan has been modified in my income solely. But, because he is on the original note he has the rights until I go to court and present my case before the judge. Why won't he just be adult like for once and leave he's hardly here anyway! For once think of his children .......On another note I am in great spirits and his addict actions have NOT affected me in two whole weeks. I think I'm getting the hang of this breaking free thing. I have other things I can do with my time!!!! First, and foremost LIVING and LOVING LIFE!!!!!!!
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Old 10-07-2009, 03:45 PM
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Unhappy,
You sound great. You've been thru the worst of it. Going to court and making things formal is the easy part. It would be nice if he'd act like an adult but the addict's needs always trump everyone else...Sadly, even their kids. They're so much further ahead because you have a good recovery going on for yourself.

Stay positive !!
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Old 10-07-2009, 04:18 PM
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Unfortunately, IM experience, they don't grow up and do the right thing. I lived with my soon to be exah for 6 months before he finally moved out... had to be on his terms and I was still so messed up emotionally that I let it drag on for that long... take care of you, do what is best for you... he won't.
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Old 10-07-2009, 08:23 PM
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If this were me, I would be inclined to have the locks changed " to protect the children".
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Old 10-07-2009, 08:39 PM
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Hey Unhappy.. I am totally feeling you on that ! Good for you to enjoy life I am in a similar situation except my ah took off for a month now leaving me with 2kids 2dogs and all OUR bills to pay on one salary. He is on a suspension for getting busted trying to pick up at work!!! So im on my way to my alnnon and I see him with a chick drivin our family van! wtf !! I am sorry your stuck in this but sounds like your freedom is coming! I think after tonight incident its "time" to make his "disppearing act" perminant for me .. hey out to lunch- i did change the locks to protect the children! LOL thanks to everyone for all their advice.
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Old 10-08-2009, 09:58 AM
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Good Morning......I wish it were that simple to change the locks. We both own the home and it would be a war. I would change the locks he would change the locks it would be a tug a war. But, I'm so strong now I can see him come and go and not effect me at all. The kids kinda just don't recognize him at all. He tries to speak to them but, they too are working their own recovery to protect themselves. They only deal with him to the point where he won't feel they are disrespecting him. Luckily Halloween is coming because he ia THE INVISIBLE MAN TO US .

ANVIL........Thanks!! I inked it. It's funny because it everyone else's fault that he has to move. Even the apt manager. If that person does really exsist
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Old 10-08-2009, 04:02 PM
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The kids kinda just don't recognize him at all. He tries to speak to them but, they too are working their own recovery to protect themselves. They only deal with him to the point where he won't feel they are disrespecting him. Luckily Halloween is coming because he ia THE INVISIBLE MAN TO US .
Yuk. That just sounds like an awful living arrangement. It can't be healthy. How long do you think it's going to go on like this? Stay true to yourself and keep your eye on the prize. I'm sure it can't go on forever.
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