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Old 10-07-2009, 12:53 PM
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Need answers ... opinions.

Hi all. I have a very dear friend whose wife was addicted to Hydrocodone for a while. She decided to go in to treatment for this, outpatient, and he seems to think she's no longer abusing.

Now - she is on Valium and she constantly throws up. She has been to dr after dr and had MRI's, Cat scans, etc done. She is also on a good amount of Phenergan.

I thinks she just went from one form of addiction to another. Am I being harsh? She has the shakes, has lost 30 lbs in a very quick period of time. This just all seems related to me.

Any thoughts?

Ayers
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Old 10-07-2009, 01:15 PM
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Hi Ayers, Just curious; why do you want to know whether or not she has gone from one addiction to another?

Last edited by Ann; 10-07-2009 at 03:28 PM. Reason: Edited per poster's request
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Old 10-07-2009, 01:35 PM
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Well, to be honest - I've always recieved great results on SR with my own issues. that's why I came here to help a friend. He's taking her from doctor to doctor and he is searching for answers on what could possibly be wrong with his wife - the mother is his children. It is just now - coming to him that all of these symptoms could be related to 'another form' of abuse and he has been at his wits end. If she is abusing things again - it would at least be an answer - to be able to move forward.
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Old 10-07-2009, 01:56 PM
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Well... just in general terms here.

Vallium is highly addictive and plenty of folks go into treatment for vallium ("benzo") addiction. I've abused my share of benzos in the past. What you're suggesting is not at all beyond the realm of possibility here.

In addition, I've also done my share of replacement addictions and know of many others who have as well.
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Old 10-07-2009, 02:04 PM
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Apology/Response to Anvil

Anvil,

In response to your post, I apologize for being unthoughtful, and have asked a moderator to remove my reference to my problem with Valium. You may be "right" that F&F is perhaps not the best place to talk about MY addictions.

Or perhaps I was not direct enough in describing my point, which was that although the doctor may have prescribed Valium to the friend, it is VERY addictive and if anyone knows they have an addiction problem, they would do best to also refrain from taking it. I think people who have problems with pills often justify their use & abuse with the excuse that it was prescribed by a physician, and therefore, I have no problem.

Sorry again for disturbing anyone's sensibilities; I seem to be having that problem here on F&F lately. I'm usually TOO direct. Go figure???
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Old 10-07-2009, 03:43 PM
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Thanks, I've been encouraging him to seek support for everything he's been thru. He has really tried to stick things out and be there for her, and this new sickness is just wearing him down.

He had a vasectomy years ago - so pregnancy isn't an option. Or.. well. She's been getting sick since June.. and has lost the weight that quick. I feel for them both.
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Old 10-07-2009, 05:54 PM
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She lost 30 pounds in 3-4 months? Does she binge on peanut butter by chance?
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Old 10-08-2009, 09:58 AM
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hmm.. I don't know. I will ask.
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Old 10-08-2009, 10:12 AM
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I'm really confused as to why she's on valium now if she was addicted to hydrocodone.

At any rate, I also agree that it's great every testing option is being pursued, and encouraging him to seek support is also a very good idea.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:48 AM
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I am confused to. I dont think she's been upfront about everything with him. SHE told him they put her on that to calm her from withdrawals.. and another doctor has put her on the phenergan and she uses ALOT of that and it doesn't knock her out?? I had to use it before and it knocked me out...

I asked about the peanut butter - he says she can rarely keep anything at all down. She doesn't binge..

At one point they were going thru some trouble and were going to get divorced b/c of her issues of driving with the kids under the influence of hydrocodone..etc and her hanging out with people he's never met..an affair she had with her boss etc. Then she told him she'd go to rehab and he had the hopes of things getting better. So, he stuck threw it.. and were doing fine until she started going away for weekends (again with people he never met).. and then calling him from Austin when she was supposed to be in San Antonio (according to phone records).. etc. Then he was going to leave - and now - she's sick.. and he's sticking by her trying to help find answers. It's just a vicious cycle.

Anyway.. all I really want for all of this is for them both to find answers and not hide from real issues if there are any. So, he's asking all of his friends for advice, his counselor, doctors.. etc.
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:53 AM
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Sometimes it's best just to say, "You are a smart guy. Your wife is a smart lady. I am sure you, your wife and the doctors will find the answers you are looking for together."

And maybe hand him a schedule for support group meetings like alanon. Maybe you should consider attending one as well for your own information.

You didn't cause her addiction. You can't control her addiction. You can't cure her addiction.

And neither can he...
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Old 10-08-2009, 11:56 AM
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Originally Posted by hello-kitty View Post
Sometimes it's best just to say, "You are a smart guy. Your wife is a smart lady. I am sure you, your wife and the doctors will find the answers you are looking for together."

And maybe hand him a schedule for support group meetings like alanon. Maybe you should consider attending one as well for your own information.

You didn't cause her addiction. You can't control her addiction. You can't cure her addiction.

And neither can he...
I agree. In my opinion, there is an active addict, with a struggling and somewhat clueless husband.

Tell him where the support is, and leave it at that.
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Old 10-08-2009, 12:01 PM
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I agree. I have given him ALL information that helped me to deal with my XAH...

Thanks!
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