I finally set boundaries
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Granite City, Illinois
Posts: 10
I finally set boundaries
My son who is 20 (almost 21) who was drug free for around 80 days relapsed on pot. That's when I thought "My God, We're pretty much supplying him". He still lives with us, has his own job and yet we still pay his car insurance and half his cell phone bill.
We had told him as long as he was in school we would pay these bills until he graduated. He stopped going to school because of drugs but wants to go back after he gets clean.
Well, I sat him down and told him if he continued to use drugs, he WILL pay his own way. We will not pay for his drug habit. He said he understood.
We had told him as long as he was in school we would pay these bills until he graduated. He stopped going to school because of drugs but wants to go back after he gets clean.
Well, I sat him down and told him if he continued to use drugs, he WILL pay his own way. We will not pay for his drug habit. He said he understood.
Member
Join Date: May 2009
Location: Land of Cotton
Posts: 3,433
Hi Laney -
I had a similar situation with my 19 yr old son. He came from rehab back to our house, which I told him would be run just like a sober house with strict rules, curfews, jobs, etc. He relapsed in 3 weeks and I had to kick him out. He was homeless for 8 days before he found a REAL sober house in a town 150 miles away. He is doing fairly well after 6 weeks, but still has a long way to go. Not sure if he really 'gets it'. I support him in recovery, but not in his addictions.
I had a similar situation with my 19 yr old son. He came from rehab back to our house, which I told him would be run just like a sober house with strict rules, curfews, jobs, etc. He relapsed in 3 weeks and I had to kick him out. He was homeless for 8 days before he found a REAL sober house in a town 150 miles away. He is doing fairly well after 6 weeks, but still has a long way to go. Not sure if he really 'gets it'. I support him in recovery, but not in his addictions.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Granite City, Illinois
Posts: 10
I've got a lot to learn I'm afraid. I really thought it would be easy for him to quit faced with court ordered drug court. (We are the ones that turned him in). He is such a sweet kid, I just don't get it. I HATE DRUGS AND WHAT THEY DO THE THE CHILD I LOVE. I have so much hate inside me right now about anything or anybody doing drugs that I know it's unhealthy. If I even see some teenager down at our local quickshop that I even suspect is doing drugs I wanna slap em. 
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 494
it is a horrible thing. It consumed my ex g/f's life (pot and the mindset it creates). He is still young, hopefully he finds his way and gets control of it soon. Sounds like you are doing the right thing for all of you. I wish I had known about this place years ago. I made a lot of bad decisions along the way. My prayers are with you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: PA
Posts: 88
Laney,
I know exactly how you feel. It is heartbreaking to see what can happen to our children just because they were dumb enough to try drugs in the first place. My son is smart, athletic, and good looking. He can charm anyone. He started with pot. My kids say "everyone smokes pot". Went off to college, came home after 1 year with an addiction to oxycontin, then on to heroin. He now lives in CA and ended up relapsing and getting arrested and going to jail. He is now in a year long program through the courts. He was the golden boy and now he is 25 with two felonies. I find it surreal that this has happened. All he has now are regrets and wishes he could turn back the clock. I just wish we could find some way to get through to them before they try drugs in the first place. I wish you luck with your son. Hopefully he will get the message sooner than later.
I know exactly how you feel. It is heartbreaking to see what can happen to our children just because they were dumb enough to try drugs in the first place. My son is smart, athletic, and good looking. He can charm anyone. He started with pot. My kids say "everyone smokes pot". Went off to college, came home after 1 year with an addiction to oxycontin, then on to heroin. He now lives in CA and ended up relapsing and getting arrested and going to jail. He is now in a year long program through the courts. He was the golden boy and now he is 25 with two felonies. I find it surreal that this has happened. All he has now are regrets and wishes he could turn back the clock. I just wish we could find some way to get through to them before they try drugs in the first place. I wish you luck with your son. Hopefully he will get the message sooner than later.
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