faithfully

Thank you for sharing your experience and thoughts. You have hit the nail on the head. You have mirrored my true thoughts. You are right about the situation. Unbiased and very real what you are saying.

It is up to me to change things for me. Believe me if this were not a sick man who is bedridden I would not hesitate or give it a second thought. I have been detatching bit by bit and getting out of the house more, sleeping away etc. Like I said if he were not so ill and financially destitute my course would be easier to follow.

Again, I appreciate your words.

Learn2Live

You'll get to it when you get to it, faithfully. We all do. Keep coming back! And thanks for sharing your experiences here. They truly make me think about my own life and what I have been doing. Take good care of yourself. I'm glad you are getting out and spending time away from home. That's so important and can be uplifting. I will get to that point with you, I hope, someday soon.

faithfully

Thank you for sharing too, and I like the saying, it helps. When I've left before, I never really did leave as I kept getting his messages, even from across the country, and sending him bits of money for food and cabs and rooms when he was out of the hospital on the streets, and couldn't walk...I felt very numb, even though I was on my own, near my family and living in a nice cabin in a beautiful place, it was like I couldn't feel anything nice. It's like since I've been with him in my life, I've lost my interest in things I used to find fun, fun just doesn't seem important to me. It's like my age of innocence is gone. I think to enjoy life and even amoungst the sadness is a true challenge. And I am thinking it might be good to help others who really want help, Lord knows there is enough need for that in the world!

kj3880

Remember that even after you do leave, it will take time to start feeling good again, and be patient with yourself. Time takes time. If you are expecting to detach and immediately stop obsessing and worrying and being depressed, then that is exactly like an addict, expecting immediate gratification. It is what keeps people addicted. You will have to do the work of recovery to recieve the benefits. The sooner you start to detach and do the work of recovery, the sooner you will start to feel a little glimmer of hope stirring within you. You can return to normal, but it will take time and distance from your current situation.

Love,
KJ