painter

Like alot, I have not been posting for a long while, but still reading. Trying to heal myself. Alot of the "old" posters are not around so I will try to give a short update. My addict is my daughter soon to be 28. She has 4 kids. Boy, 6. Girl 4, and twins boy and girl will be 1 year in Nov. She is still with her ADBF, the father of the children. I had her two oldest children for a year while she ran from jail time. She was pregnant when she turned herself in and had twins the day after she got out from jail. She lived with me for about three months til ADBF served his time then they found a townhouse and moved in. She went to court and got her two oldest children back from me. That about killed me. But now to the present. My gut is telling me that they are back on the old road again. The ADBF does tree work and the season is closing and time are hard, work is hard to find. She has called several times to ask for money but I have refused. I still get the two oldest kids every weekend, but they are not the same two kids that I sent back to her. They just seem changed. So needie, cling to me. The six year is in school and seems to be doing well. But the 4 year old girl says she doesn't do much except watch tv. Says Mom get mad at her. Tells her that she is tired and frustrated. I know that she has her hands full with 4 kids, but she doesn't work so what else is going on. Little girl told me this weekend that Mommie and Daddy lock their bedroom door so she can't get in. That scares the heck out of me. What can a four year get into that they are not paying attention to?
Guess the point is that I am worrying myself to death about the kids again. Other family (His) have said that things just do not seem the same over at their house. This is all making me sick. I have told AD that is she starts up again that I will take the kids back, but I will have to call SS about the babies. I am to old to take care of 4 kids. Raising the two older ones about killed me. Alot of other things going on in my life!!!!!!
I have gone through the steps over and over, but I CAN'T STOP THE WORRYING. HELP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1

URMYEVERYTHING

Hi Painter,
Welcome back to SR and I'm sorry this is a difficult time for you.

The situation is that you can't control your daughter's actions and what goes on in the home, however, if you feel the children are in some type of danger, you can call CPS and make an anonymous report to investigate. Other than that, it seems as if you are worrying about something that is completely out of your control for the moment.

Are you able to secure a therapist and/or attend Alanon meetings for support?

Ann

Welcome back from me too, Painter.

I agree with the poster above, if these children are in any danger at all, please call Children's Services and have them check.

Aside from that, keep an open dialogue with these kids, not to snoop but to listen for any signs of abuse of danger at home. They are blessed to have you in their lives.

Big Welcome Home Hugs

painter

Yes, I will NOT let anything happen to my babies. I have a friend at the SS office and she gives me lots of good advice. I just wish I could turn off my mind and stop the wondering. Easy to say, not so easy to do. If there was a magic wand I would make the ADBF just disappear, he is the downfall to all of this. It is all in God's hands I can do nothing. Just pray. Thank everyone.

peaceteach

(((Painter))),

Saying a prayer for you and your family

BBD

painter. I'm also saying a prayer that this drama turns around for you. Its so hard worrying all the time and the cold weather is coming so take care of yourself. When your stress level is up its harder to stay healthy....Big hugs lady, Bonnie

greeteachday

My prayers to you and the little ones too. Bless you for being there for them. Each time the worry would start eating away at me, I'd turn it all over to my higher power yet again. Sometimes I had to do so 10 or 20 times an hour to stop the obsessive worry. Hugs

sailorjohn

Welcome Back!

teke

you and your family are in my prayers too, painter. i pray the kids are safe and that you are granted peace.

Spiritual Seeker

Hey I still check in from time to time...happy that you do too.

Fear and worry are tough ones that don't serve us well....detachment can't be easy with grandbabies.

Do what you can to live in the moment and the day.
Take a holiday from worrying 6 days a week and worry just one if ya can.

painter

Sometimes I think that God must be sick and tired of me asking the same thing over and over. But then I realize that He loves those grandbabies MORE than I do. I must realize that my AD will not raise her children the way that I raised her. She is a completly different person. I was just so aware that everything I said and did would effect her as a person, WRONG!!!!! She was my life, since her dad walked out when she was a year old. She just doesn't seem to BE INTO her children. I had the two oldest ones for the weekend, took them back late Sun. cause boy has school. But Monday morning went back and got four old girl and kept her til tonite. She cried and said she did not want to go home. Wanted to stay and live with me again. That broke my heart. When we got to her house her mom hardly paid attention to her. Sad. Again, my prayer that these children will be safe and not grow up into the life style that AD is living. Thank all of you for caring. April

copperpenny

Dear Painter, God bless you and yours. Offering up prayers for you. You were one of the members who reached out to me when I joined. Do what you need to take care of yourself and do what your gut tells you about the kids. I think we are close in age and I know what you mean about being too old to raise kids but the consequences are worse if we don't help these kids. Jail and drugs continue for my ASD although we are loving from a far, far distance. Remember the three C's. Peace and LOVE, take care.

rahsue

my thoughts and prayers are with you. You're not alone and things will get better