Blogs


Notices

My Mom Died Last Night

Old 09-24-2009, 08:53 AM
  # 41 (permalink)  
Member
 
itiswhatitis...'s Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: somewhere, out there...
Posts: 512
i'm soo sorry - prayers and godspeed...

love,
sue
itiswhatitis... is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 09:34 AM
  # 42 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: scotland
Posts: 1,493
sorry for your loss,you are in my prayers.
Charmie is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 09:48 AM
  # 43 (permalink)  
one.day.at.a.time.
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Lousiana
Posts: 19
Blog Entries: 2
so sorry...

Originally Posted by Kimm992 View Post

I wish someone could tell me what I'm supposed to feel like right now.
i am sssooo sssooo sorry for your loss.
if only it were that easy and someone could tell us how to feel that would be geat. all the years you spend worrying about your mother, where is she, what is she doing, is she okay, when will this end, ect. you think you will feel relieved once she has passed on to a life where there is no addiction however, it is the opposite (for me anyway). my mother passed away in jan of this year from years of alcohol abuse and i've felt anything but relieved, in fact i have no peace with her death whatsoever because i am overwhelmed everyday with guilt and not knowing if she knew how much i loved her becasue there came times when i had to show "tough love". this is very very hard and there is alot of baggage when you lose a parent that is an addict. i only hope your journey is easier than mine and that you do find peace knowing that things are much much better for her now. no sickness, no addiction, only peace, probably the peace she looked for everyday... i know my mother did. may be selfish but part of me would do anything to have her back.
i will not sit here and lie, some days are plain miserable. the pain gets unbearable and i just feel really really sad, consumed with thoughts of my mom... did she understand why i did what i did, does she know how much i loved her, could i have done anything to make her stop, why didn't i embrace her when i should have, what was i thinking to be so hard on her and not understand her more, i should have taken more time to try and help her. truth is, their addiciton is not our fault but it is just as much our problem as it is theirs and i haven't found a book yet that helps you grieve and get through the loss of a parent who had an addiciton. (if anyone knows of one please let me know). i try to educate myself and stay positive but its hard, somedays impossible.

talk to someone, anyone, don't hold feelings in. it will help when you let it out. i wish you all the luck and blessings and hope you are okay.
hugs! Rush
Rushl is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 01:22 PM
  # 44 (permalink)  
Member
 
Impurrfect's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
(((Kimmy)))

I'm sorry I did not see this earlier. I am so sorry and I am sending you lots and lots of hugs and prayers.

As far as how to feel, I think you've gotten some good advice...just feel the feelings as they come. You and your mom had a rocky relationship. There are going to be a lot of feelings and anger is probably going to be one of them, and it's okay. Whatever you feel is okay...just feel it, walk through it and move one. If you put off walking through a feeling it will come back, over and over until it's dealt with.

Please come here any time...we are always here for you and we care, so very much.

Hugs and prayers!

Amy
Impurrfect is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 02:19 PM
  # 45 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: South Africa
Posts: 34
Im sorry to hear of your loss!! She is in a better place now, find comfort in that and know that she is with you in spirit!!!

xx
Envelope is offline  
Old 09-24-2009, 04:43 PM
  # 46 (permalink)  
To thine own self be true.
 
Join Date: May 2009
Location: U.S.A.
Posts: 5,924
Blog Entries: 5
I'm sorry Kimmy. :sorry

I know those words are empty. How should you feel? Mad, sad, bad...so many things I guess. I am so scared of the day when my mother will die. They say that when your Mom dies, you become a different person. It's such a big change. Just try to keep breathing through it. We are here for you if you need to talk or just vent. We'll do our best to understand.

:praying
Learn2Live is offline  
Old 09-25-2009, 08:50 PM
  # 47 (permalink)  
Love my puppies
 
tigers13's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: lala land
Posts: 150
I'm sorry for your loss Kim. I lost my husband 6 months ago, his body wore out from all the drug use and he was only 48.

There is so much numbness at first, it's like you're going on automatic pilot...everything is surreal. Then the feelings kick in and it's so overwhelming at first because the feelings seem to fight and contradict each other...know this is all normal. Grieve your way. No way is wrong, as long as it's your way. Let ALL the feeling come, don't fight them or they'll keep coming back. Most importantly...keep talking about it, over, and over, and over again. Don't let anyone tell you shouldn't feel such and such a way...all your feelings are right and valid for you. No one can ever know "exactly" how you feel because death and grieving is a very individual thing. Give yourself lots of TLC and don't be afraid to ask for help, many people don't offer their help because they don't know what to say or do, so for many it is a relief to be asked.

and :praying
tigers13 is offline  
Old 09-27-2009, 04:40 AM
  # 48 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: ontario, canada
Posts: 540
kimm, i am so sorry for your loss. Thoughts and prayers to you and your family.
katie44 is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 04:30 PM.