AH been clean "couple"days, expects US to go therapy
 

:wild :wild :wild

Now that all the papers have been served and court is looming closely, he FINALLY realizes "what a dick I've been, sorry, I am ready to do what you said, where should WE go for counseling?", ummm ..... I told him, "you can go wherever it is you think you should go to get into recovery. I have been working on my own recovery of being co-dependent with you and I can not help you get into recovery. You are in charge of yourself." He FREAKED. Called me selfish, money hungry, etc. etc. etc.

I did the right thing though didn't I?

blue,

ok, he freaked! its ok for him to do a little freaking out for a change dont you think? he'll probably be ok, this may or may not be what drive him into recovery. i think you did great. i believe if its meant to be then it will be. stick to your guns and let time and his actions show you whats next. you and him are in my prayers.

Yes you did. Don't let him or anyone else deter from your own recovery and speaking your mind.

Thank you, just wanted to add that in July I found a rehab nearby that he could go to for free etc, and he wouldn't think of it, bc "he could do it on his own". So I did try to help him, and I NOW know that I can't. What a thing to learn. This website has been and absolute life changing thing for me and everyone on here is wonderful and helpful.


:ghug2



:ghug2

blusunflower,
Was it as freeing for you to say basically "sorry, can't help you, I'm busy helping me." Because that's what I said to my XABF in the process of us separating. He had already moved and I was up all nite loading a moving truck by myself, and he starts in on the phone about how he realizes he has a problem and would I go with him into therapy. WTF? You say this now, on the eve of my moving all alone into a new life after months of working on a recovery of my own for months because now it has just dawned on you after 10+ years of my trying to get you to get help. Way to jump in there early, right?

It is so liberating when you let go of their lives and deal with just your own. Now that I see what I mess I had let myself become while I was concentrating on him. It's like a summer house I have let go for a few seasons and I'm just now cleaning out the musty old place.

Bravo to you for all your hard work!!

Alice

"It's like a summer house I have let go for a few seasons and I'm just now cleaning out the musty old place."

This is so great! And yes, Blu, you did fine. Take care of YOU this time, whatever it takes. This is extremely important, so don't waver right now. Just know that it is perfectly okay to be taking care of yourself. :)

You did the right thing.... by him freaking out of wanting to take care of yourself shows you where he is STILL at. When I read your post all I could see is Quack, quack, quack...... LOL.

HUGS... you are getting there. Stronger each day. :)